A Resurrection!

I've been wanting to get back to regular blogging for a long time now. 

Hilarious things happen to me on a regular basis and I should be sharing them with everyone. And some not so hilarious things happen that I should also share. And I just never get around to actually opening the computer and typing it all up.

But this morning I was over at Granny B's and something happened and it was just the sign I needed to get this thing fired back up.

So here goes nothing...

Last night Granny B left me a message that she had a ring for me and she wanted me to come by the house to get it. 

Some of you may know that there is a silver ring that I wear probably 363 days a year that Granny B gave me. I cherish it. And I get so many compliments on it. I love it dearly. 

{Sidebar: a couple of months ago LaVa and I did a ride-along with the fire department and they told us to bring workout gear and we would do PT with the boys. You know me, I can never pass up an opportunity to show some boys up, so when it came time to workout, I changed and took off all of my jewelry. I could have sworn that I just set my ring on top of my clothes so I wouldn't forget it. Then in the middle of our workout, we got a call and there was no time to change, so off we went. Then we grabbed lunch. Then we got another call. And another one. And by the time we got back to the station, my ring was the last thing on my mind - getting out of my disgusting stinky workout clothes was really topping the list! So I changed my clothes and left. The next day, I realized that I didn't have my ring. I searched EVERYWHERE! I emailed the battalion chief that was on shift with us. It was gone. About two weeks later, I was looking in my small crossbody purse for something I found my ring. I nearly cried, I was so happy!}

Either way, for that reason, when she said she had a ring for me, I was super excited. So I called her back and we made plans for me to stop by this morning and have a cup of coffee with her and pick up the ring. 

For those of you who do not know, Granny B lives in a gated community. So you have to talk to the guard every time you go visit her. Because we are on her regular visitor list, we get monthly passes, but you still have to pass through the guard gate.

There is one particular guard who seems to be quite fond of Granny B, and every time he is at the window when I have to renew my pass, he asks about her and tells me to tell her hello.  I didn't have to renew my pass this morning, but he was at the gate so I rolled down my window and waved as I went through.

So we are sitting at her kitchen table having a cup of coffee with her caretaker when the caretaker asks, "Did you see Anthony at the gate this morning?"

I said that I did. Granny B asks, "Did he say anything about me?"

Whizzuh-wuh? Are we in junior high? Did she just ask me if the man at the guard gate asked about her? I almost felt like the next thing she was going to do was to have me call over there and ask if he likes her while she listened on the other phone.

But no. What she did next was much better!

Granny B: I don't even know if I remember what he looks like anymore. The only reason I met him was because they were fixing the regular gate so I had to go through the visitor gate. He asked me my name and I told him and then he asked how I was doing.

{Sidebar: I believe what actually happened was that when she told him her last name, he made a comment about it not being an Italian name, but that is neither here nor there.}

Me: Oh yeah? And from then on he was smitten?

Granny B: Well, then I found out he was married. Damn it! (as she slams her hand on the table)

Me: That's the story of my life, Granny B! The story of my damn life.

Granny B: I would have had him over for pasta or something.

Me: (laughing hysterically)

Granny B: I'll tell him, 'Get rid of your wife and I'll show you.'

Caretaker: You'll show him what?!

Me: (trying to catch my breath and wipe my tears because I haven't laughed this hard since Friday morning with LaVa.)

Granny B: Sorry to be so bold, but when you're desperate, you know.

YOU GUYS! Granny B is 93 years old! I'm not sure my heart can handle this kind of talk!