From the Mouths of Babes

Last week I spent a lot of time over at Amachi and Haytachi's house with PapaBear. 

Behind their house is where my Haytachi did all of his work. He has tools, scrap wood, nails, screws, locks, furniture, just about anything you could imagine. 

Most of the stuff, we have no idea where it came from.

One day Tiny said to Sissy, "Mom, I thought of an idea."

Now, when Tiny says something like that, you really never know what is going to come next. It could be anything from dinosaurs to tractors to aliens.

So, with a little hesitation she said, "Yes, Tiny?"

He said, "We could just get a whole bunch of ladders and tape them all together and then maybe we could reach all the way up to Heaven to see Haytachi."

And you know, I bet Haytachi smiled down and said, "That's my boy."

What Becomes of the Broken Hearted?

Tiny is a master at charm. Seriously, that kid can make a face that will melt your heart in a second. Render you unable to tell him "no."

He also happens to be a wizard with an iPad. Months ago he learned how to FaceTime the family.

A couple of weeks ago, he FaceTimed Match because his mom left him at home when she went to pick up Biggie and he was upset and wanted Match to call Sissy and lecture her.

So Match did it. I'm telling you, this kid is an expert at getting what he wants.

Recently, he has picked up the art of iMessaging. So from his mom's iPad he can send messages - to SuperFan, to me, to anyone in her address book with iMessaging capabilities.

He can only spell a handful of words, but he does know how to capture himself on video and send it.

While I was in DC for work last week, he tried to FaceTime me, but I was in a meeting. When I got back to my room and called him back he was crying when he answered. Like real, big tears crying.

I asked him what was wrong and he responded, "My mama cracked my heart."

It was all over - had I not been a five hour flight away, I would have been on my way to save him. It broke - I mean cracked - my heart. 

Randomly Catching Up

Where oh where have I been?

I think Papa is close to disowning me for all of the days he has come to this page only to find the same sad post as the day before.

For all I know, he (and all of you) has quit even coming to this page in the hopes of a new blog post. 

It's just that I started this business and it is taking up a lot of time and growing at a rate that I wasn't expecting. And since I cancelled my cable and thought that I would have all of this time to sit at my computer and write, I have actually started reading all of the books that piled up last year while I was killing brain cells watching mindless television. (That doesn't mean I don't still enjoy some television, just not the volume that I was taking in before.) (And to be honest, it's not like I'm reading some spectacular literature, I like to go back and forth between cheesy romance novels and things with substance.)

And I was still feeling a little blah from overindulging during the holidays. My cravings for sugar were at an all-time high and I was just barely getting it back together. So I decided to do a juice cleanse. And you know what I discovered? 

Juice cleanses are not so awesome for people who aren't really into juice.

Seriously, I've never been a juice drinker. (Thanks, Match!) I mean, as we may have discussed in the past, I don't even really like fruit all that much. So why would I like juice? 

Either way, I'm hopefully back on track now and the sugar cravings will cease.

We'll see.

The Smalls children are with Match and Papa for the weekend while their parents are gallivanting on some island and today Tiny was running around the house (inside and outside) with no shoes or socks on. 

So Match asked him, "What is your aversion to shoes and socks, Tiny?"

He responded, "I like bears, so I like to be barefoot outside."

I swear we live in one of those AT&T commercials.

Sage Four-Year-Old Wisdom

I took Biggie and Tiny to see Turbo last week. There is a part in the movie where one of the girl snails tells one of the boy snails, "You're going to be my boyfriend and I'm going to call you Boo."

So on the way home we were talking about the movie and the remainder of my weekend. I was going to a convention and there were going to be a couple of guys there who may be potential suitors.

Biggie was talking about two of them being my boyfriend so I asked him how many boyfriends I can have.

He said, "You can have three."

Then Tiny pipes up, "No, you can have one hundred!"

So I say, "Should I tell him, 'you're going to be my boyfriend and I'm going to call you Boo.'?"

Biggie: Yes! Say that! Please say that!

Me: Do you think it will work?

Tiny: Yes! But if it doesn't, just call him whatever he wants.

Clearly Tiny is wise beyond his four years.

It Depends What the Meaning of the Word 'Is' Is

On Friday afternoon I stopped by Sissy's house to visit with the babies. When I pulled up, Biggie had just walked outside to visit the neighbors and he told me, "SisterSmalls just fell off the chair and bumped her head. She's crying a lot!"

When I went in the house, I encountered Sissy and SisterSmalls, and he was right - she was crying a lot! The three of us walked upstairs to see Tiny and that's when I noticed that Sister was acting a little funny and her eyes were kind of dilated. 

At that point we went downstairs for Sissy to call her pediatrician and Biggie came back in the house. When she hung up the phone I asked her what they had said.

Sissy: They said to keep an eye on her. Make sure her pupils are the same size, she doesn't vomit, and that she is acting appropriately.

Biggie: Acting appropriately? Like not taking her pants off in the middle of the road?

A little while later we were sitting on the couch.

Biggie: Aunt Airplane, do you know that song about California. With all the states?

Me: No, I don't think I do.

Biggie: See, Mom. I told you she wouldn't know.

Sissy: She knows, you just aren't explaining it very well.

So we go through a whole process where I ask him to give me some other clues about the song. What kind of music? Country. Did you hear it on the radio? Yes. Does it have all of the states in it? No.

And I start guessing songs, to no avail.

Then, I start googling things and I find it!

Jake Owen, Anywhere with You.

Biggie brings me his iPod touch and asks me to download the song for him.

Sissy: I told you Aunt Airplane would know the song.

Biggie: She didn't know it at first.

Me: Come on - all you gave me was, "It has California and other states in it." Based on that, I think I did pretty good. Uncle Bunner is always doing that - calling me and saying, "Airplane, what is that song? A guy sings it and it has 'and' in it."

About five minutes later:

Biggie: Oh, and I need that song that Papa likes from the Voice.

Me: Do you have anything else?

Biggie: The two brothers were singing it. And it has 'and' in it.

And he said it with a straight face.

And if you were wondering, SisterSmalls was fine.

They Say It's Your Birthday...

It's my birthday too now!

I'm 32 years old today.

And outside of the lingering pain in my right hip, I feel better than I can ever remember!

(I'm going to see someone about that hip.)

I have decided that this year will be the year of fitness for me.

Kind of like I was born in the year of the Rooster - this year I will live the year of fitness.

For that reason, I started today with a bikram yoga class.

I'm not going to lie to you - I didn't love it. But I didn't outright hate it either.

I am going back tomorrow and hopefully the stretching will help my mobility in CrossFit and I'll see improvements there.

I'll keep you updated.

Then I went to my parents' house and ate a paleo Samoa donut for breakfast...

It was delicious and Match is the best mom EVER for making them for me!

After coming home for a quick shower, I headed back to Match and Papa's house for my birthday party.

When Biggie arrived, he gave me the card that he made me, and made me cry!

Besides the fact that I am the best "ant" ever. It says that "you look beautiful how you are now."

Seriously, I'm not quite sure he could have written anything more wonderful in that card.

All of the gifts and cards that I received were wonderful, but that card and the one behind it from Tiny are two that I will cherish forever!

Tiny Adventures

Biggie is a proud graduate

On Thursday, Biggie "graduated" from kindergarten and on Friday, Tiny "graduated" from preschool. So I planned to spend the two days in M-Town with the Smalls Family.

After graduation on Thursday, I told the boys that I would take them bowling as their gift from me. Turns out, I'm a pretty good bowler, but that's another story for another day.

Each time it was my turn to bowl, if I didn't bowl a strike with the first ball, Tiny would pat me on the leg as I got my second ball and he would say, "You can do this, Aunt Airplane, I believe in you."

Tiny is ready for bowling! I told him he needed to bring socks. He preferred to put them on with his crocs.

I mean really - could this kid be any more adorable?

The answer to that question, is yes.

Because before we left for bowling, we were all hanging out in the living room when Tiny asked me: "Aunt Airplane, are you old enough to buy kids?"

Me: Ummm - yeah, I guess so.

Tiny: You should get some.

Me: If I have kids, I won't be able to spend as much time with you.

Tiny: Yeah, because I can just come to your house.

Me: Tiny, you can come to my house now.

Tiny: No, only if you have kids.

About ten minutes laters he was in the kitchen with Sissy and he said, "Mom, should we get Aunt Airplane some kids?"

###

On Friday afternoon I told the boys that I would go swimming with them. Biggie and I had already gotten into the pool and it was COLD!

So, finally Tiny comes out ready to swim and he steps onto the first step and says, "Are you kidding me? It is f**king cold!"

###

And just because - here is a random picture of BabyBunner and me.

BabyBunner is quite possibly the most serious child on the planet.

Miscellany Monday...Full of Pictures

Welcome to lazy Monday. Otherwise known as the recurrence of Miscellany Monday on my blog.

This one is going to be extra lazy because I'm going to just post a bunch of pictures of things I did over the weekend...

one

a day at the county fair

Match, Papa, and I took Biggie, Tiny, and two cousins to the County Fair on Friday to ride a few rides (and drive me bonkers). There weren't many rides that one cousin was tall enough to ride, so he and Tiny ended up on the dropping frog ride that Tiny can't seem to decide if he likes.

In the picture above, as the ride goes to the top, he seems to really be enjoying himself.

Then it drops...

Not so great anymore...

two

God bless the USA

On Thursday evening, Glinda texted me about a swim meet that was going down on the east side of town all weekend.

You all may remember that I am a HUGE fan of swimming!

So we decided that on Friday evening, we would head over to the pool to take in the finals.

And take them in, we did! We actually had so much fun that we left Beauty and the Beast on stage early on Saturday to catch the final meet...

Tell me you don't appreciate the beauty of those swimmers...

And I'll tell you that you're a liar!

three

biggest loser

A couple of girls from work and I went to see Jillian Michaels speak yesterday afternoon. 

I'm a big fan of her from BL, and I was (not so)secretly hoping that Danni would show up. (She didn't :()

Either way, we ran into the first female winner of BL in the lobby, Ali Vincent, and got our picture with her. Then I wanted to get back in my car and head to the gym.

She looks phenomenal!

four

not the weekend

Last week, a friend of mine called to ask if I wanted to fill a seat at a table he had that evening. For some reason, I agreed to it.

I didn't have any choice but to attend in what I was wearing, so when SuperFan, Sissy, and I showed up and looked like we coordinated our outfits, we had to get a picture taken.

 

T-R-O-U-B-L-E

Tiny turned 4 on Saturday. I know it is so cliche to say, but where does the time go?

This kid is hilarious! The things he says and does make me laugh every day.

A couple of weeks ago, I was at an event with BIL and I was telling him to feel free to promote me to single men. You know, tell them how awesome I am.

He started laughing and told me that Tiny is so much like me. Apparently he will frequently walk up to BIL and say, "Dad, I'm awesome. Are you awesome?"

I say there is nothing wrong with that kind of confidence. And why wait for someone else to point it out? 

But recently it has come to my attention that Sissy may be in trouble with this one. He is one charming kiddo.

At school he was helping his teacher with something and she said, "Tiny, you're my buddy aren't you? Am I your buddy?"

He replied, "No, you're my sweetheart."

I mean, really? Where did he even come up with that?

On Saturday when I got to his house with his gift, an orange case for his electronics, Belly said, "Tiny, isn't orange your favorite color?"

He looked at me with his big brown eyes and said, "I don't like orange."

I got a sad look and asked when he decided that.

He replied, "Ok, I'll change it for you."

Seriously, he knows how to get just what he wants.

The Curtain Fiasco

So, you'll remember that I recently purchased curtains for my sliding glass door and I had Match and Papa scheduled for a Super Saturday of Fun to hang said curtains up.

Well, as you read earlier, I've begun to lose control of my life.

So what actually happened on "Super Saturday of Fun" was that Match, Papa, and I headed out to M-Town to watch Biggie play a football game and bring Tiny back to B-Town with us. 

When I got to Match and Papa's house that morning to ride to M-Town, she said to me, "Papa is pretty tired, how about me, You, and Tiny hang the curtains this afternoon. Sissy and I hung the curtains in her house alone."

I agreed, how hard could it be, right?

Yeah, famous last words...

Things started out pretty good, we did a little measuring made some decisions and put the first curtain rod anchor in without an issue.

The second anchor was a little more difficult, but we powered through and things were looking good.

About this time, Tiny was getting a little antsy and kept running around my house getting nails, screws, and anything else he could find to hand to me up on the ladder. Also, the arches of my feet started to ache from standing on the ladder for so long. I have a new respect for anyone who has to spend any increment of time on a ladder everyday.

Tiny was clearly a big help!

So, we move on to the third anchor and the proverbial shit hits the fan! I'm telling you, it got nutty. I threw a hammer and a pair of pliers. I cursed Papa. I nearly threw my drill. Match got up on the ladder and broke the anchor and now we were effed!

We had been at this project for the better part of 3 hours at this point and I know Papa was up from his nap, but clearly not concerned about the fact that he hadn't heard from Match regarding the project that should have been complete by now.

In the middle of all of that, Tiny decided that he wanted chocolate milk. Well, Aunt Airplane doesn't have Ovaltine. Or milk. But he opens my fridge and sees a container of heavy whipping cream and says, "You have milk."

So I look in the pantry and find some dark chocolate and ask Match if she thinks I can melt it and sweeten it and make chocolate milk. She is up on the ladder breaking shit, and says it is worth a try.

It wasn't worth a try. 

So, we all load up in the truck to head to Lowe's because now we need a new curtain rod anchor and a drywall repair kit. (Don't ask - trust me.) And Tiny needs some chocolate milk.

We finally get home and get the third anchor up, the dry wall patched, and the curtains hanging; but there may or may not be two screws sticking out a wall in my house that need to be cut off. And I may or may not still be finding tiny nails that Tiny scattered throughout the house.

The finished product!

Giving Thanks

It's Thanksgiving week so I'll enlighten you all with a few things for which I am thankful...

5 am Crossfit workouts. Because they have changed my life, but also because after them I head to Diddy's house to shower and get ready. Then we eat breakfast together, which is always a hilarious occasion. 

This picture:

Because on Monday I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I don't know why, but I was just in a bad mood. And this picture made me laugh hysterically. Can someone please tell me why IT and Ikea appear to be slow dancing and to the right of them, DVL and I both have one hand in the air, and appear to be rapping? 

Seriously, I am still laughing!

These four:

Because Biggie made me an aunt for the first time and I've never felt so much love. Because Tiny is a mini-me and I love every bit of it. Because SisterSmalls is a tiny baby diva, but when she falls asleep in your man arms, it melts your heart. Because Match knows just when to support me and just when to call me on my bullshit.

This guy: 

Because he is the most kissable baby on the planet and when he smiles at you, you just know that everything will be right in the world.

Simplicity

So, this picture doesn't really have anything to do with this post, but Sissy is always telling me how Tiny reminds her of me. And today she posted a family picture they took in North Dakota and he was making the above face. The exact same face that I am making in a picture that was taken of me in like 2006...

I'm working on simplifying my life.

Dirty moved out this past weekend and because I have an empty room now, I am taking the time to organize and simplify.

Like getting rid of things.

A lot of things.

Why do we keep things that we don't need?

Why is it so hard to get rid of things? 

I get keeping things that have sentimental value, but you should see some of the crap that I was storing in a closet or a drawer somewhere.

For what?

It sounds super silly to say this, but I really feel like since I started this process, my life has changed.

Not in any crazy big way, but I think my outlook on life has changed.

It is like an external cleanse.

Miscellaneous Musings...

I'll join in with a little miscellany today since I have a few random things to share...

one

breaking records

Ok, it was only a personal record, but since that is probably the only kind I'll ever beat - I'll take it!

Remember way, way back in January when I had to run a mile for time? And I ran it in 8:28? And I was so super excited because I never thought in all of my years on this earth that I would be able to run a mile that fast?

Well, this morning, I beat it! By 35 seconds!

That's right folks - I busted out a one mile run in 7 minutes and 53 seconds and it was the most glorious moment of my life! Which was quickly ruined by the second mile we had to run that was a little slower...

two

youtube

On Friday, I had some errands to run and then I headed out to Sissy's house to hang with the Smalls Family and "sleep the night."

Tiny started preschool this year and they have been learning the Pledge of Allegiance. He and I had worked on it the day before while Sissy and Biggie were in the dentist chair, so I asked him to recite to me what he remembered of it.

He completed the whole thing!

I asked him if he would like to record it to send to Match and Papa and he replied, "Yes. And YouTube."

I had to oblige.

Now head on over to Carissa's blog and read a few blogs you haven't read before.

On the Plains of North Dakota...

 A couple of weeks ago Match, Papa, SuperFan, Sissy, BIL, Biggie, Tiny, and SisterSmalls headed to North Dakota. BIL grew up in North Dakota and his parents have a house on Lake Audubon, so Sissy decided that we would baptize SisterSmalls there and make it into a little mini vacation.

That is if you consider staying in a house with 12 adults and 12 children a vacation...

For the sake of this post, let's say I do.

So at the crack of dawn, we set out...

Match, Papa, SuperFan, and I arrived to the airport to find that Sissy had backed up the entire lives of the Smalls family. (To be fair, they were staying for 10 days...)

-

I did have some concerns about flying with three children, but lucky for me, I got the seat next to SisterSmalls and she was easy-peasy!

Match was lucky enough to get both boys in her row. Luckily, Aunt Airplane had Goonies downloaded on the iPad and Biggie kept busy hunting treasure for the two hour flight.

Tiny required a few seat changes, a lot of tractors, a Nintendo DS, and an iPad.

But, kudos to those babies, because they were very well behaved for the entire flight and people even complimented us. 

Sissy and SuperFan enjoyed their childless row.

Biggie's future is so bright he has to wear shades on the plane.

We finally made it and as I posted on instagram - if I pretend like there aren't twelve children running around the part of the yard you can't see, this is a very peaceful view.

That pretty much sums up our first day in North Dakota, and on our second day, when we were supposed to do all of the fun things like ride jet skis and tubes, the skies opened up and the angels cried.

It literally rained all.day.long.

Around 2:00 or so, SisterSmalls started crying and Sissy thought she might be ready for her afternoon bottle.

What a coincidence, I was also ready for mine...

The most important thing was that the sun came out on Sunday. The day that SisterSmalls and her cousin were to be baptized. Followed by a massive party at the lake house.

The food was delicious, the company was great, and I got to ride on a helicopter!

Yes, you read that right. BIL's cousin has a helicopter and he flew it over to the house and gave some rides to the partygoers. 

So fun!

Then we went on a boat ride and Match turned into MamaKennedy.

This is the view of the house and helicopter as we were floating back to the boat dock.

 All in all it was a great trip. Shorter than I would have liked, but we had a lot of fun and I would certainly go back. But only in the summer.

Here is a random picture of Tiny on the Gator. This kid loves him some John Deere products!

Miscellany Monday

It's been a long while since I've participated in Miscellany Monday.

I'm going to give it a go again...

With an abundance of iPhone photos.

one

food truck friday

Glinda and I spend Fun Friday lunch checking out the food trucks in downtown Phoenix.

We split this chicken hot dog with smoked gouda, roasted red peppers, and mushrooms. Then we shared that delicious drink - which was a Honey Pear luncharita. There was no alcohol in it, but it was delish!

Then we went ahead and shared a salted caramel creme brulee. Holy moly!

If you are in the Phoenix area I recommend heading down to the Phoenix Public Market between 11:30 and 1:00 on Fridays to check this out.

There were a lot of people there last week and it was H-O-T, hot! I can't imagine what it's like when the weather is nice.

two

swim graduation

Biggie and Tiny had their annual swim lessons last week and the week before. And they graduated on Friday!

Sissy, Bunner, SuperFan and I (along with a whole slew of cousins) took swim lessons from the same teacher.

Tiny can swim, but he just won't do it when he's at lessons...

Strange.

Here they are all decked out in their swim gear.

PapaBear doesn't like mohawks, so Biggie just did this for a quick second.

Here's Biggie and SisterSmalls - just because you needed to see a picture of her! :)

three

golf and pedis

Saturday morning I took advantage of the sweltering heat and headed out to the driving range with Big T and his oldest son.

I'm getting better - I just need to spend more time hitting the ball.

That's my new golf bag there - it make me look good!

And Big T's older son is in the top picture showing me up. It's awesome. He's four.

And in the bottom picture is his younger son. I am freaking obsessed with that kid. He is SO adorable!

Then it was off to get lunch and pedicures with BFL and her daughter.

Yes, I do realize that my toes are as long as fingers.

four

birthday baseball

Biggie turned six on Saturday, so for his birthday I took him and Tiny to a Diamondbacks game.

It was pure chaos, but they had fun. And when I left them, he said, "Thanks Aunt Airplane! You're the best."

Totally worth it.

During the 7th Inning Strech they played God Bless America. I looked over at Biggie to find him with his hat over his heart. I teared up.

I honestly didn't think that Tiny knew what was going on - he was just sitting there enjoying his "copcorn" and then the DBacks had a great hit and he threw his arms up and started cheering!

And of course, the obligatory self-portrait of Biggie and me.

now head on over to carissa's blog and read something you haven't read before.