Things 34 Years Have Taught Me

I have written this post in my head at least a dozen times. It is truly the bane of my writing that inspiration and words come to me at the most inopportune times. Like when I'm driving down the road and can not jot down my thoughts.

Being 34 and a single woman is interesting. I am certainly not the only single 34-year-old woman on the planet. I'm not even the only one I know. But for some people, meeting me is like encountering a unicorn - and they just can't understand me. 

But the thing is, that's not very important to me. What matters most to me is that I know myself. And know myself, I do.

Having the opportunity to be unapologetically who I am (be that good or bad) for so long has taught me a few things. Now these things may not make sense for everyone, but they make sense for me and I want to write them down.

So here it is, in no particular order:

There is a good chance that not everyone will like me. As a matter of fact, it is inevitable. However, I can not change who I am to suit another. And in many cases, there is no reason and no solution for someone not wanting to be my friend. That is ok.

My sisters may make me crazy (and I can assure you that I make them crazy), but when my world is crumbling around me, there aren't many places that comfort me like being in their presence.

Lipstick makes all the difference. I shunned it for so long, but the truth is, it completes a look and Match.mom was right.

Never let an opportunity pass you by twice. Especially if you had regrets the first time. There is a reason that it comes around again.

Don't let someone else define your beauty. This one is a constant struggle, my friends. But I won't give up.

People will be quick to judge and criticize the things that they don't understand or that make them uncomfortable. That is on them.

My family is the best around. For too long I have taken for granted how lucky I am that my parents are loving, giving, and stable. Everyone does not have that in their lives.

Success means something different to every person. I can not judge my own success by there standards. I can only decide what I want and get it.

A lot of problems can be solved with a bottle of wine and good friends.

Sixteen Things That I Need to be Reminded of Daily

Today, in honor of Miscellany Monday, which I haven't participated in in some time, a random list, in no particular order, of things that I should remind myself of from time to time. This list is by no means comprehensive.

1. Never apologize for being you. Your likes, dislikes, hobbies, and personality are yours alone. Some people will like them. Others will hate them. It is not your job to make the second group of people join the first. Enjoy being the person you are, doing the things that make you happy.

2. It's ok to cry. Sometimes a good cry is all you need. Just do it. But once you're done, wipe the tears and move on. There are very few things and even fewer people who are worth your time after they've made you cry.

3. Being alone isn't the worst thing in the world. Don't get all crazy and never spend time with other people, but really enjoy the time you spend with yourself. Use it for reflection, writing, reading, cooking, whatever strikes your fancy at the time. There are going to be times in life when all you want is to be alone and you may not get that chance. Cherish the time when you have it.

4. Never settle. In anything. Never settle in love. Never settle for less than you deserve. Never settle for less than your best. Nothing is small enough to warrant settling. Keep pushing. Keep trying. Keep looking. It's out there. Reach for it.

5. Know when to say no. People will ask you to do things. People will ask you to say things. People will ask you to give things. It is ok to say no to the things you aren't willing and able to do/say/give. Don't torture yourself for others.

6. Know when to say yes. On the other hand, there are times when a situation will present itself to you and for whatever reason - fear, ability, sleep - you will want to say no - say yes. Some great things come from saying yes!

7. Surround yourself with people who make you want to be better. It is easy to spend your time with the people who are ok with your status quo. Or even who want to make you be less than you are. Stay away from those people. Find the people who make you come alive. Who challenge you to reach for your goals. Who hold your hand and say, "I'll walk out on the limb with you." They are precious and you will never regret a day spent with them.

8. Love yourself. Love every part of who you are. Embrace who you were, who you are, and who you will be. Cherish the bumps along the road that got you here. Know that you are constantly a work in progress, but also know that you are good enough just how you are.

9. Give yourself compliments. When you look in the mirror and think, "Damn, girl, you look good." Say it out loud! You put in the hard work, you should recognize it. Don't dwell on it and act better than others, but know that it is ok to think that you are beautiful and say it.

10. Tell others how you feel. If you love them - tell them. If what they do for you is great - tell them. If you think they smell good - tell them. It won't always be the easiest conversation, and the reaction may not always be what you want it to be, but you will feel better for having said it.

11. Laugh hysterically. Always. Laughter is the best medicine. Laugh at yourself. Laugh with your friends. Laugh with your family. Always, always laugh.

12. Pray. When things go right, pray. When you struggle, pray. When those around you need it, pray. You always feel better when you pray. Do it!

13. Respect your body, but have the dessert. You've learned a lot about your body over the course of 32 years. Some of it is hard to deal with. Respect what it tells you is good for it and avoid what it tells you is bad for it. But remember that life is short and sometimes it is ok to have the dessert. 

14. Expectations are what kill us. If you have expectations of people that they are unaware of, they can rarely live up to them and you will certainly be disappointed. 

15. Don't compare yourself to others. Everyone's circumstances are different, you can not compare yourself to another person fairly. 

16. Don't judge a book by its cover or a person by their clothes. You miss a lot of great stories by only focusing on outward appearance. Stop it. Stop it right now.

New Year. New You.

Wow - even I cringed when typing that title..

How cheesy can I be?

The answer is: pretty cheesy, but that's another story for another day.

Today we are going to talk about the upcoming year.

I have decided that I don't like the word "resolution" in relation to the goals I set for the new year - so I have decided that this year, I will consider these my:

2013 Commitments

write every day: as I previously mentioned, I will commit to writing every day. The goal will be to write here on the blog every day, but some days it may be that I write somewhere else.

one hour of yoga every week: in relation to my fitness goals, I really need to work on my flexibility. As much as I hate yoga, and I really hate yoga, it is the best way to work on flexibility and stretching, so I will commit to at least one hour a week on my off days.

running 7 miles every week: CrossFit has lots of cardio, but I would like to lean out a little more, so I need to burn some more calories, so I will be running at least seven miles every week. I will count any runs that are included in CrossFit WODs, but not warm-ups. And any additional races that I run outside of CrossFit. Whatever is left after those two things will have to be made up on my own time.

For the previous two commitments, weeks will start on Sunday (beginning with today).

As far as CrossFit goes, I have two goals that I am committing to for 2013:

kipping pull-ups: pull-ups were actually on my goal list for 2012 and I didn't reach the goal. But I HAVE to get a pull-up this year and I need to get kipping pull-ups in order to do a lot of WODs as prescribed.

rope climb: I believe I have the strength to do a rope climb, but I have a fear of them. It is totally mental and I need to overcome it and get to the top of that rope.

Finally, I would like to pay off Gus, my car. This is probably a lofty goal, but if I stick to my budget and work really hard, it is totally attainable!

2013 is going to be great!

Giving Thanks

It's Thanksgiving week so I'll enlighten you all with a few things for which I am thankful...

5 am Crossfit workouts. Because they have changed my life, but also because after them I head to Diddy's house to shower and get ready. Then we eat breakfast together, which is always a hilarious occasion. 

This picture:

Because on Monday I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I don't know why, but I was just in a bad mood. And this picture made me laugh hysterically. Can someone please tell me why IT and Ikea appear to be slow dancing and to the right of them, DVL and I both have one hand in the air, and appear to be rapping? 

Seriously, I am still laughing!

These four:

Because Biggie made me an aunt for the first time and I've never felt so much love. Because Tiny is a mini-me and I love every bit of it. Because SisterSmalls is a tiny baby diva, but when she falls asleep in your man arms, it melts your heart. Because Match knows just when to support me and just when to call me on my bullshit.

This guy: 

Because he is the most kissable baby on the planet and when he smiles at you, you just know that everything will be right in the world.

Miscellaneous Musings...

I'll join in with a little miscellany today since I have a few random things to share...

one

breaking records

Ok, it was only a personal record, but since that is probably the only kind I'll ever beat - I'll take it!

Remember way, way back in January when I had to run a mile for time? And I ran it in 8:28? And I was so super excited because I never thought in all of my years on this earth that I would be able to run a mile that fast?

Well, this morning, I beat it! By 35 seconds!

That's right folks - I busted out a one mile run in 7 minutes and 53 seconds and it was the most glorious moment of my life! Which was quickly ruined by the second mile we had to run that was a little slower...

two

youtube

On Friday, I had some errands to run and then I headed out to Sissy's house to hang with the Smalls Family and "sleep the night."

Tiny started preschool this year and they have been learning the Pledge of Allegiance. He and I had worked on it the day before while Sissy and Biggie were in the dentist chair, so I asked him to recite to me what he remembered of it.

He completed the whole thing!

I asked him if he would like to record it to send to Match and Papa and he replied, "Yes. And YouTube."

I had to oblige.

Now head on over to Carissa's blog and read a few blogs you haven't read before.

Cheater, Cheater

I was over on Lauren's blog and she filled out this silly internet questionairre and I keep getting complaints because I'm not blogging enough so here is a cheat post for you.

Buckle in, this is a long one!

1. What is your best friend's Mom's name? I'm not really prepared to share this information with you. I've heard about those stalkers on the internet...

2. Where is the weirdest place you have a mole?  I have A LOT of moles! Like, a lot! I'm not sure any are in a weird place, but there is one right under where my bra sits on the left side of my chest and it is super annoying. And I have gone to no less than three dermatologists to get it removed and no one will take it off me. What's with that? 

3. Who was the hottest teacher you ever had?  Mr. Ermisch (I just had to go get out my 7th grade yearbook to double check the spelling of his name - what a riot that experience was!) Either way, Mr. Ermisch was never actually my teacher, he taught 8th Grade Social Studies when I was in 7th Grade, and then left the school at the end of that year and was replaced by my cousin. So while I was deprived the ability to stare at Mr. Ermisch's beautiful mullet, I got to watch Little Giants like 100 times instead of learning about whatever it is you are supposed to learn about in 8th grade Social Studies.

5. What body part do you wash first?  Depends on the day. If I just get home from CrossFit, I have to wash the chalk and gym nasty off of my hands. Otherwise, it's always my face.

6. Do you hover over the toilet in public bathrooms? I'd like to tell you that I always did, but then I saw the MythBusters epi where they proved that more germs are on the toilet handle than the actual seat, but that wouldn't be true. Because I have never hovered over toilets in public restrooms. The last place that I'm worried about germs is on my butt.


However, a couple of years ago I was working on a Congressional campaign and our office only had unisex restrooms, which made me realize how annoying it is when a dude leaves the toilet seat up. Because really, it is disgusting that I have to touch the seat to put it back down. Then I got to thinking, it is pretty gross that dudes have to touch the seat to lift it up. So really, we should all quit bitching and invent a toilet seat with a motor to lift it up and down.

7. What's the strangest talent you have? I don't really think I have any strange talents. 

8. Do you have an innie or an outtie? Innies Rule! I mean really, an outtie? So weird.

9. What's your favorite flavored Pringles? The truth is, I very rarely eat Pringles because once you pop you can't stop. And I need to stop. Trust me.


However, in the recent past Sissy did have a can of dill pickle pringles that were pretty freaking tasty!

10. Have you ever been tied up? My parents read this blog, I plead the Fifth.


Just kidding, I have never been tied up. But if Christian Grey happens to saunter by with some natural filament rope, I could maybe be persuaded.

11. What was the last thing you ever got grounded for? I honestly can not remember. But my favorite story is still this one. 


12. Do you parallel park or drive around the block? It depends on the sitch. I really don't like to parallel park, but I will do it on occasion.


Funny story: when I first graduated college and was working for the Home Builders Assoc., I would frequently have to go down to Phoenix City Hall to file and/or pick up paperwork and the parking down there is a monster! So I would drive around for about five minutes and then when I would finally give up and try to parallel park, the homeless guys would help direct me into the spots. Seriously, I was bad. I would usually give them a dollar for their time. I believe in rewarding good service.

13. Have you ever had two dates in one night?  Unless you count the time that I was angry at a guy I was dating because he cancelled our date the night before (because he was in the hospital - no I'm not kidding, this is why I'm trying to move away from dating older men) so when he asked me to go out with him the next night I forced him to wait until after I had dinner with some girlfriends. So he bought tickets to the late comedy show and I totally showed up late at his house and we had to rush to make it to the venue on time. 

14. How many times have you been cussed out? To my face? I can't think of one. Behind my back? Probably a.lot!

15. Which shoe do you put on first? If I'm putting on flips or heels, probably whichever one is turned in the right direction. Tennis shoes or boots? I think I tend to put the right one on first. 

17. Have you ever been to a gay bar?  I have. When I was in college I went to visit a gay friend who lived in Vegas and he took me to a gay bar in a very shady part of town. (Yes, shady even for Vegas.) And it was like underwear night or some such business. And I was a little upset that there were so many good looking men in one place and none of them liked girls.


Also, one time BodyBuilder and I were in Tucson for Spring Training and we somehow ended up downtown in a club that I'm not completely sure wasn't a gay club. Super strange experience.

OMG - and I just remembered that BodyBuilder's gay friend who was with us took off his shoes and started doing gymnastics on the dance floor and got reprimanded for taking off his shoes. Not for flailing around and almost hitting numerous people.

18. Girls  are very dramatic. (I'm just assuming this was a fill-in-the-blank question.) 

19. Is there one thing all of your love interests have had in common? If you ask Sissy she'll tell you it's that they were gay. But that's not really true. It only happened once. That I know of. 

20. Did you French kiss before you were 16? I did. I know, I'm such a floozie! 

21. Have you ever been cow-tipping or snipe-hunting?  No. We got our kicks toilet papering people's houses. Such rebels.


Big T was our favorite target - one time we toilet papered his house in blue and yellow TP (our school colors) when he was on vacation. And when we were running across the street back to the LTZ get-away car, Sissy tripped and slid all the way across the dirt road.

And after our sophomore year of high school he moved to another school so we went to TP his house the night before school started, I was the get-away driver because I was in a hip-to-ankle brace after having knee surgery; and one of the idiot boys that was with us set off fireworks after they had thrown the TP everywhere and nearly sent the whole thing up in flames.

22. Who is the last person you usually think about before you fall asleep? Lately it has been DVL. He called me a diagonal-sleeping bed hog last week and I'm convinced it is because I sleep in a GIANT bed alone, so each night when I lay down to go to sleep I make a conscious effort to only sleep in my spot. I'm trying to see if I can train my brain to change. 


See, I can put others needs ahead of my own.

23. Have you ever had a poem or a song written about you? In my mind Gary Allan wrote She Gets Me about me. 


That counts, right?

24. If you had to choose to not ever wash your bed sheets again or not wash your bath towel ever again, which would you rather not wash?  What kind of sicko wrote this question?

25. Have you ever found anything in your parents' bedroom that was questionable? I really try not to search my parents' bedroom. It's kind of like when people say, "don't ask questions you don't want the answer to." You know?

26. What was your childhood nickname? Wowie. (Pronounced like whoa-wee). Which has evolved into Weestie - via Woweesta and Weesta. Also, my uncle still calls me RDV (abbreviation for Raquel de la Verdura). And my parents' good friend calls me Rae - he is the only person who has ever called me that and the only person that I will answer to that name.


I am named after my dad's sister, PieRanch, who is named after her aunt. When my great aunt was a child, for some reason I do not know, they called her "Pete" so when my aunt was born they started called her "Petie." At one point my grandmother joked that they should call me "Repeat." Thank the TTBJ that didn't stick!

27. When is the last time you played the air guitar? Saturday night at our family reunion. We danced the night away, which very frequently includes a little air guitar.

28. Have you ever peeked in the opposite sexes locker room? Peeked? (Dad, close your eyes.)


I do believe I just walked right in. Oops.


(Ok, Dad, you can open them now.)

29. What's the weirdest thing you have done while driving?  Again, when I worked for the Home Builders, I used to attend "jumpin' gym" in the city where I now work; and in order to get to my appointment in time to get a full hour in before they closed, I didn't have a lot of time to change my clothes. So...I would get dressed while driving. It was a very intricate process that included some serious strategy.

30. Have you ever bitten your toenails? Umm, no. That is disgusting!

31. How do you eat your cookie? I really try to stay away from cookies. You know, gluten intolerance and all. And like Diddy says, "that's not good for you. Turns you into a raving bitch." It's a good thing I'm a salty/savory kind of girl. 

32. When working out at the gym, do you wear a belt? Only when I wear this outfit:

And when my suspenders are dirty. Obvi.

33. Name something you do when you're alone that you wouldn't do in front of others. Wear the outfit in the picture above.


36. How many drinks does it take before you get drunk? I'm not exactly sure, but it always seems like it is just one from "I'm fine" to "WOO! Blowin' it all out!"


37. Have you ever sniffed an animal's butt? No, but I have artificially inseminated a mare so I've had my hand up one.


38. How often do you clean out your ears? Every other day or so.


39. Do you scrunch or fold your toilet paper? Scrunch.


40. About how many times a day do you pick a wedgie?  Very few.


41. Do you have any strange phobias? I don't think so.


42. Have you ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? No. But once when I was really little, Sissy and I were defying our parents and refusing to go to sleep once we were put to bed and somehow I swallowed a penny. And I FREAKED out! I'm not kidding you - I was hysterical. And I remember Papa carrying me into the kitchen and getting me a drink of water and reassuring me that the penny would not kill me. That was probably traumatizing enough to keep things out of my nose.


43. What is the stupidest thing you've ever done at a bar? A shot.
 
44. Have you ever been dared to do something you totally regretted?  I'm not certain, but I typically was a "truth" picker.

45. Have you ever called your love interest by an ex's name? No.

46. Have you caught a guy/girl farting while on a date? Can't say that I have.

47. Have you ever played naked Twister? Definitely not.  

48. Have you ever been drunk at work? Not intentionally, but there were probably a few times during my internship in Denver when I hadn't fully recovered from the night before.

49. Have you ever found your date's/lover's brother or sister more attractive? Nope.

50. Do you want to bring sexy back? I'm sorry - do you know me? Done and done!

Miscellaneous Me

one

are you sure

I have discovered something that makes me crazy! It may be totally irrational, but isn't that how I roll anyway?

If I ask you if you would like me to do something and you reply, "sure," I'm certain to go nuts!

I don't know why, but it just seems so non-committal to me and I can't stand it.

two

weather

We spent the weekend in southern Arizona for a family reunion this weekend.

I love the monsoon in that part of the country. Nothing compares to an afternoon rainstorm down there!

three

sleeping like a baby

Whoever started using that term to mean that they had a great night sleep should be punched in the wiener!

At the family reunion, I shared a room with Sissy, BIL, and SisterSmalls.

SisterSmalls doesn't sleep through the night.

Reassuring me that I'm not sure I'd like to have children of my own.

It's a good thing she is cute!

three

tool time

I got a tool to help me with my calluses from CrossFit.

This baby is a little dangerous, but it seems to have shaved my calluses down.

We'll see if it helps.

four

little sister

On Friday I will fly to Boise to pick up Sissy's new car and drive it home.

Fourteen hours in the car by myself.

Wish me luck.

And remind her of this when it comes to buy me gifts, please.

Getting to Know Me Miscellany

I was really planning to go a different direction with this post today, but I read Cheyenne's blog before I posted and she inspired me to share some things about myself - for those of you who don't know me.

Funny story about this picture - I am typically against wearing headbands like this, but we went to the Miranda Lambert concert on July 3 and SuperFan had me wearing this like a real headband. Well, turns out my head is too big for it and it kept doing weird things so I took it off and was messing around when I put it on this way. Then Dirty had someone take a picture of us. Then of course I instagrammed it. And then my family freaked out! And said it was the best picture they have ever seen of me. 

They are a little crazy.

But let's talk about me some more... :)

1. When I was a kid, we were farm laborers for the summer. We started by chopping cotton, then moved up to the sprayer tractor - they actually rigged up a tractor that Sissy, YogaHippy, and I could all work on. They welded two seats to the front, so one person would drive and two would spray. (And we would change to words to songs to fit our lives - there were some funny moments out there in those fields.)

2. For the first time in my life, I think I may be addicted to something. Fitness. It sounds so cliche to say it, but I really do feel like CrossFit changed my life. And now I want everyone around me to be fit and active.

3. I toy with the idea of going back to school. I haven't pulled the trigger, but I get closer every day.

4. I love my nephews and niece more than anything, but I'm no longer sure that I want to have children of my own.

5. I wish I could hip-hop dance. I'm not saying I would like to be a back up dancer in any music videos, but when I watch So You Think You Can Dance, I am always the most in awe of the hip hop dancers.

6. I want to make a difference in the world.

7. Sometimes I want to move to a new city and try something totally different.

8. I really like to entertain people. When people get joy out of their interactions with me - it makes my day!

9. I am crazy independent (like don't-like-to-ask-for-help-independent). I think sometimes it is one of my biggest flaws.

10. I was recently reminded how much I love the smell of Zest soap. I think it is nostalgia, but man, I love that smell!

11. I love to cook! Seriously, if I could afford it, I would spend the weekends trying new recipes and feeding people. I could go broke buying the ingredients for all of the food I want to make.

12. My sisters and brother know all of the ways to make me crazy (and they practice frequently), but if someone moves even remotely in the direction of messing with them, I become a crazy protective mad woman! For real - you don't want to try it.

13. Despite my tough exterior, I am super sensitive. Just because you don't see me cry, doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

14. Wow - it is really hard to think of 15 things about myself that seem even remotely meaningful.

15. Music moves my soul. There are times when I am listening to my iPod and a song comes on that just speaks to where I am in that exact moment, and I will play it on repeat just to soak it all in. (Typically while rocking out - I'm sure I provide much entertainment for the other drivers on the road.)

Now head on over to Carissa's blog and read something new.

Miscellany Monday

It's been a long while since I've participated in Miscellany Monday.

I'm going to give it a go again...

With an abundance of iPhone photos.

one

food truck friday

Glinda and I spend Fun Friday lunch checking out the food trucks in downtown Phoenix.

We split this chicken hot dog with smoked gouda, roasted red peppers, and mushrooms. Then we shared that delicious drink - which was a Honey Pear luncharita. There was no alcohol in it, but it was delish!

Then we went ahead and shared a salted caramel creme brulee. Holy moly!

If you are in the Phoenix area I recommend heading down to the Phoenix Public Market between 11:30 and 1:00 on Fridays to check this out.

There were a lot of people there last week and it was H-O-T, hot! I can't imagine what it's like when the weather is nice.

two

swim graduation

Biggie and Tiny had their annual swim lessons last week and the week before. And they graduated on Friday!

Sissy, Bunner, SuperFan and I (along with a whole slew of cousins) took swim lessons from the same teacher.

Tiny can swim, but he just won't do it when he's at lessons...

Strange.

Here they are all decked out in their swim gear.

PapaBear doesn't like mohawks, so Biggie just did this for a quick second.

Here's Biggie and SisterSmalls - just because you needed to see a picture of her! :)

three

golf and pedis

Saturday morning I took advantage of the sweltering heat and headed out to the driving range with Big T and his oldest son.

I'm getting better - I just need to spend more time hitting the ball.

That's my new golf bag there - it make me look good!

And Big T's older son is in the top picture showing me up. It's awesome. He's four.

And in the bottom picture is his younger son. I am freaking obsessed with that kid. He is SO adorable!

Then it was off to get lunch and pedicures with BFL and her daughter.

Yes, I do realize that my toes are as long as fingers.

four

birthday baseball

Biggie turned six on Saturday, so for his birthday I took him and Tiny to a Diamondbacks game.

It was pure chaos, but they had fun. And when I left them, he said, "Thanks Aunt Airplane! You're the best."

Totally worth it.

During the 7th Inning Strech they played God Bless America. I looked over at Biggie to find him with his hat over his heart. I teared up.

I honestly didn't think that Tiny knew what was going on - he was just sitting there enjoying his "copcorn" and then the DBacks had a great hit and he threw his arms up and started cheering!

And of course, the obligatory self-portrait of Biggie and me.

now head on over to carissa's blog and read something you haven't read before.

88/365

pretty in pink

Not many things make me feel as pretty as getting a manicure!

Adds a little femininity to my man-hands.

89/365

stolen goods

I stole these shoes from SuperFan and I don't want to give them back! And I can't find them anywhere to buy my own pair.

Super sad face!

And please don't mind that weird crooked second toe - I guess it never really healed from the breaking...

Double super sad face!

90/365

two months

BabyBunner is two months old and cuter than ever! I mean really - how could you resist this smile?!?

something new

For the month of April, I am going to try this little project...

92/365

your reflection

A very light reflection of me in the background of a picture of my sisters and me.

93/365

colour

Trying to get some color from the sun at the final spring training game of the year.

It doesn't work when you use 50 spf...