Guess Who's Back. Back Again...

Crown and water at Nick's Cove on Tomales Bay

Sorry for the lack of posts last week, I was visiting BigSurprise. I think I may have mentioned at some point that she was pregnant with twins, but I don't think that I ever told you that she had them. 

On July 30, she gave birth to two precious baby boys. I feel in love with them with the first picture she sent, so when she mentioned that she needed a little help with the nursery and getting settled, it was a no brainer for me to head up there for a week of fun.

Lots of things happened and I hope that my visit helped her get organized enough that she is feeling better about it. We cooked a lot of food to put in the freezer. I fed her most meals while I was there. And I fell even deeper in love with the sweetest baby boys in Northern California!

The two-month photo shoot was more difficult than you would imagine. Baby E on the left. Baby K on the right.

Baby E and I fell in love immediately.

Enjoying bonus snuggle time with Baby K during the flight delay

I was set to leave on Friday. My plane was scheduled to depart at 2:30 pm, so we left the babies with the nanny and headed to Oakland. We got to the airport right around 1pm, said goodbye, and I headed inside to check my bag. As I was in line, a man came over and said that due to a maintenance issue, the flight would not depart until 8:00pm. 

Yes, you read that right - a 5.5 hour flight delay.

So I texted BigSurprise and we decided that she would come back and get me and we would head home for the delay.

Little did we know, it would take us forever to get home! The traffic was ridiculous!

Finally we made it, fed the boys, and basically got back in the truck and headed back to the airport.

I had already checked my bag earlier, so all I needed to do was go through security when I got back to the airport. 

Even so, we gave ourselves upwards of two and a half ours to get back to the airport.

As we got started, the traffic started to get bad. Like really bad. Like literally a full stop for multiple minutes bad.

BigSurprise is starting to get a little freaked out and I'm trying to calm her down. She keeps  saying, "You're going to miss your flight. What are we going to do if you miss your flight?"

In one of my strongest moments yet, I remained calm and told her that we couldn't worry about that. All we could do was keep driving and hope we made it on time. 

I plugged the airport address into the GPS and it said that we would arrive at the airport at 7:27pm. As we are sitting in dead stopped traffic, one of the babies starts crying hysterically. Then BigSurprise tells me to look at her gas gauge. It says "82 miles to empty." I tell her that we are only 31 miles from the airport. She says that once it hits 5o it goes to zero right away. 

Baby is still screaming and I'm starting to get a little stressed out myself. I ask her if I climb into the backseat if I can feed the baby. She says yes.

At this point I should tell you that she has an extended cab Ford F-150. And the baby seats are in the middle and behind the passenger seat. So when I get in the back, I'm going to have to be behind the driver seat.

I have no idea how I managed to get back there without hurting myself, but I did. And I begin feeding Baby K. And texting Match. (Isn't that what everyone does when they are freaking out?) Then I put my head down and say a quick prayer that we make it to the airport on time, and safely. And that we don't run out of gas on the way.

About two minutes later, BigSurprise says, "Oh my God, Airplane! Look at the gas gauge now!" I look around her headrest and see, "132 miles to empty." I start to breathe a little easier. Then Match texts me, "Every time you and BigSurprise are together it seems to be a 'debunkle'" I relay this message to BigSurprise and she asks, "Is debacle a synonym for clusterf*ck?"

As we cross over the bridge, the traffic starts to thin out and we begin making up time. About every 5 minutes, BigSurprise gives me an update, "Now it says we will arrive at the airport at 7:25 and we have 80 miles to empty." And so on and so forth. 

As we get closer, BigSurprise comes up with a plan. When we get near the airport she is going to unbuckle her seatbelt so that when we get there I can jump out, grab my stuff, and run to security. She will then go to the gas station and fill up and wait to hear from me that I am on the plane before she heads back home.

We pull up to the airport at 7:23 - I run to security. I am literally the only person there. The guy taking boarding passes says, "What time does your flight leave?" I tell him 8:00pm - he says, "You have plenty of time. No need to run."

I get to the gate, and they aren't even boarding my flight.

Deep In The Heart of Texas

I can't believe it is already Thursday. I think the full moon threw my world off of its axis this week.

Seriously, since I got back from Texas, I have not been able to pull it together.

That is why it has taken me this long to write this post.

As you can see in the picture above, I headed to Texas this past weekend to attend a wedding as DVL's hot date. (Can you think of a better person to fill this role?)

I arrived at the airport on Friday morning in time for my 7:00am flight. Boarded the plane, taxied to the runway, and sat... Something about a computer issue, and we had to return to the gate, where we were deplaned and made aware of a three-hour delay. Not a great start.

So I had a cocktail and prayed.

Luckily we took off a little ahead of the delayed schedule and DVL picked me up in just enough time to get back to the hotel, change our clothes, and head to rehearsal. 

From there, rehearsal dinner. From there, North Texas State Fair and the Josh Abbott Band Concert.

One of the things that I love the most about DVL is that we have very similar opinions about most things. Fashion included. Which makes people watching with him excellent. And what better place to people watch than a state fair in Texas?!?!

We spent the evening drinking beer and judging questionable fashion choices. I will admit that I was a little disappointed by the lack of "big Texas hair," but there was plenty to keep me busy. Including a girl chewing tobacco and one smoking a Swisher Sweet.

Saturday was pretty chill until we realized at noon that we had to be at the wedding location at 2:00pm and that we still needed to get lunch and get ready for the wedding.

But clearly, we managed.

The wedding was beautiful and the couple was gorgeous. We got to the reception and realized that somehow, we were seated on the kids side of the table. Which was pretty ironic because I don't know two people who dislike other people's children more than DVL and me. We ate quickly and stole other people's chairs on the other side of our table to enjoy the remainder of the reception.

Some of my favorite parts of the reception:

- During the slideshow, there was a picture of the bride and her sister and they had some pretty crazy eye shadow on and DVL said, out loud, "Yikes!" The bride looked over at him and smiled, and I told him he should probably just think those things next time.

- While the band was on a break, the DJ was playing some "booty music" and a couple of bridesmaids and I were dancing, when one of the girls went and got the videographer and started shaking her butt in front of the camera and saying, "Just like TRL!" DVL's former intern was also there and she, at 22 years old, said, "What's TRL?"

- Towards the end of the reception, I was sitting in a chair next to the intern, watching DVL dance with the bride when a woman walked past everyone else and right up to me and said, "I just wanted to come over and say hi. It was so great to see you. How are you?" I said, "Hi. I'm good. Good to see you too." Then she walked away. The intern looked at me and asked, "How do you know her?" I had to admit, I had never seen her before.

- When the wedding was over, everyone went outside to wish farewell to the bride and groom. We were standing on the steps of the venue figuring out what we were going to do next and DVL had walked inside to get his tux jacket and I was standing there with one of his other friends from DC. One of the girls at the wedding, who I had deduced was from DC earlier in the night was saying goodbye to the other gentleman and then she turned to me and said, "Bye. See you back home." Ummm, I don't think you will. Unless you have moved to Arizona.

- Finally, I had to go inside to get the intern so we could go to the bar and as I was leaving I ran into the bride's sister and brother-in-law (who I had met only the day before). They went on and on about how great it was to meet me and then practically begged me to come back and visit them.

These Taste Just Like Reese's Peanut Butter Cups...Yeah Right!

I'll take you on a little trip back in time for today's post. 

Way back when I was travelling quite a bit for work.

And I was on a trip to California - I can't remember what event I was there for, but I know that I spent the first part of the trip with Dirty and the second part of the trip with BigSurprise.

I believe that BigSurprise and I were heading to Nevada, but there was some off days in between events so I was staying the weekend at her house.

For some reason, we decided that we would take a day trip to Yosemite National Park. So we woke up in the morning, had a little breakfast and started on our way with a map and maybe a water bottle or two.

A couple of hours down the road, we realize that we are in the middle of nowhere and we have no food. And I am starting to get hungry.

Then BigSurprise remembers that she has these protein bars in her car so she gets one out and we are going to share it.

I'm a little skeptical - I really am not a big fan of protein bars. So I'm checking out the packaging and analyzing my options when she tells me, "Oh stop - I eat them all the time - they taste great! Just like Reese's Peanut Butter Cups!"

Fine. I open the package and can immediately smell the protein. This is not looking good.

I take a bite and I almost hurl! Literally, this most assuredly DID.NOT! taste like a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup! 

But we ended up having a blast and I never ate another Think Thin bar again!

One of the many pictures that we took of ourselves along the way. At one point we stopped at a designated photo spot and I asked someone to take our picture, complete with hand gestures. They looked like they spoke English, but they did not. So BigSurprise yells at me that I found the foreigners and they didn't even know what I was saying.

I assured her that the hand gesture I used was the universal sign for "take a picture."

At least she didn't tell us to say "chicken bone."

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner

I believe that I told you all last year that I was proposed to in Vegas last year.

I don't think it was a real proposal, I think it had more to do with the fact that I was carrying cherry vodka around in my purse, but that is neither here nor there.

This year, we happened to run into my fiance from last year and his friends.

So, he sits down next to me and I ask him how things have been going for the last year.

He responds, "Unfortunately, exactly the same."

I ask, "why unfortunately?"

And then he launches into a diatribe about how his live-in girlfriend (I told you it wasn't a real proposal) won't make him chicken wings.

That he works hard, and all he wants are chicken wings.

I ask a series of questions, trying to get to the root of the problem.

Things like, "do you want her to make chicken wings every day?" His answer: "Not every day."

"Can she just bake the ones you buy in the freezer section at the grocery store?" His answer: "I don't care where they come from, I just want chicken wings."

So I tell him, in my brutally honest kind of way, "I hate to tell you this, but if she won't make you chicken wings now, she sure isn't going to do it when you put a ring on it."

I probably didn't help the situation...

YOLO in Vegas

I should really be in bed right now in order to get up for 5am CrossFit, but I drank too much coffee this afternoon and I have some requests for blogs (because obviously I have been neglecting all of you), so here I sit.

I will blame you all if I don't get out of bed for back squats and rope climbs in the morning.

In really quick CrossFit news, either my new shoes are magic or I am amazing, because I ran 400m in 1:30 on Tuesday. (See what I did there?)

I'll give you a minute to let that sink in...

...Yes, you read that right - I ran, 1/4 mile in one minute and thirty seconds!!!

Our first run, we went too far so we ran 420m, and I did that in 1:40. Then we found the right line and I did the next five in: 1:30, 1:32, 1:38, 1:40, and 1:38.

Pretty much, I'm a badass. But moving on...

Last weekend was our annual Vegas trip for NFR. And as always, it was a blast!

I'll save most of the details for those who were there, after all, what happens in Vegas...but I'll give you a few highlights.

On Friday night, DVL, Dirty, Diddy, Idaho*, and I went out to dinner for DVL's birthday. He wanted Mexican food, so I took them to the ghetto - that's where the best Mexican food is after all. (Remember that trip in San Antonio? Papa thought we were going to have to fight our way out of that one.)

So after the longest cab ride ever, with the strangest cabby who wanted to take Dirty home with him, we arrived at the restaurant and got a table. DVL was ordering a drink - Crown and water - and the waiter was not picking up what he wanted. 

DVL: Crown and water and a glass of water, please.

Waiter: *blank stare*

DVL: I would like Crown Royal Whiskey and water.

Waiter: I don't know if we have that.

(After going to check)

Waiter: Ok, we have that - what do you want?

DVL: I want the whiskey with ice and water. And a glass of water.

Waiter: So, you want alcohol...in your water?

On Saturday morning, we trekked over to the Venetian/Sands to do some shopping. Before we made it into the shopping portion of the convention center, we stopped at the bar. We were in line when a very interesting lady lined up behind us. 

Diddy: I think I'm dehydrated. My legs are starting to hurt.

Dirty: Maybe you should get some water.

Diddy: I am - orange juice and vodka - there's water in that.

Classy Lady: (leans over to shake Diddy's hand) You're my kind of person.

Then she proceeds to tell us about how she's not as young as she once was and something about drinking too much Pendleton the night before. And I say something to the effect of, "It's a good thing this only happens once a year." Then I kind of zoned out. (Plus my brain wasn't working as quickly as it normally does.) So the next thing I hear her say is, "Try doing it on a first date."

I was like, Whoa, that escalated quickly!

And then I caught on - she was at NFR for the weekend on the first date. I mean really, who ever would have thought that was a good idea.

Vacation Pictures

Here are the pictures from vacation!

Enjoy!

Paul Revere statue - in the background you can kind of see the Old North Church. This was where they hung the lanterns during his midnight ride - "One if by Land. Two if by Sea." It is commonly believed that what he yelled during his ride was, "The British are coming!" However, during this time, everyone considered themselves British, and what he actually said was, "The Regulars are coming!"

Captain John Parker at the Lexington Battlefield. He is credited with telling his troops, "Don't fire unless fired upon, but if they mean to have a war, let it begin here." This was the "shot heard 'round the world."

Here I am posing with a Minute Man at the Old North Bridge in Concord. This bridge was where the Rebel forces stopped the Regulars and sent them back to Boston.

This church on Martha's Vineyard is made of all wood with no nails or screws - all tongue and groove and pegs. Those columns in the front are all pine boards!

It was cold and windy on Martha's Vineyard! But I got Granny B to take a picture with me!

Gingerbread House at the Methodist Camp. These houses were crazy and they were built on the sites where the original tents stood, so they are very narrow.

Ahh - the Breakers! This was the home of the Vanderbilt's. It was amazing inside, but I would trade it all for the kitchen!

I had to find this picture online because we weren't allowed to take pictures inside, but you get the idea. I'm in love!

Mystic Seaport. This is the Mystic River we are looking at - of movie fame. And in town was Mystic Pizza - of Julia Roberts fame.

Norman Rockwell's studio.

Me. In what IT says is my Ralph Lauren ad.

Talked her into another picture, but she got distracted...

The colors at the Bennington Battle Monument.

Yellow tree at Plymouth Notch.

Red tree at Plymouth Notch.

Mount Washington Resort. 

Me on the coast of Portland, Maine. What a beautiful place!

The lighthouse on Cape Elizabeth.

The Cape Elizabeth Lighthouse from the water.

Walker Point in Kennebunkport, Maine. This is also known as "the Bush Compound."

Maine lobster dinner!

Getting Ready...

Ohmigosh, you guys, a week from tomorrow I leave for my 8-day bus trip with Granny B.

I know that it is going to be fun.

I know that there are going to be memories I will cherish forever.

I know that I will be so happy that I went when it is over.

But seriously, people, this is stressful.

I got my final packet for the trip. At the back of the itinerary book is a place where I can record the names, numbers, and addresses of the new friends that I meet.

How old school is that?

And we have to rotate seats twice a day so that everyone gets a chance to sit in the good seats.

What?!?!

I'm not even sure I'm ready to pack for this adventure. 

I think I'm going to need more wine...

I'm Not An Alcoholic...

On Tuesday, I had just finished cooking breakfast at Diddy's and was filling up my water glass to have with my meal.

Me: Do you ever open the fridge to get some orange juice in the morning and think to yourself, damn that Coors Light would taste good right now.

Diddy: Ummm, no.

Me: Yeah. Me neither.

I think my body may be going through withdrawals from my DC trip.

A Nice Day for a White Wedding

Shit got real this past weekend.

IT married IKEA* (he finally got a name and he came up with it himself...)

I do not have any pictures of the bride and groom together, so you will have to settle for a picture of me and the hottest date around, DVL.

Yeah - we rocked it!

Check out those shoes! And remember them - they will be back later.

DVL and I worked together many moons ago and we've been friends for a while now. He resides in DC and is a blast!

I honestly don't know if I would have enjoyed the wedding as much without him by my side.

He was a great dance partner (and obliged me by dancing to EVERY song!), a phenomenal drinking partner, and a photogenic SOB!

The photographer was a friends of the groom's family so she threw the photo booth in for free.

We took full advantage. Though I was really hoping for some boas.

I mean really, how cute are we?

While we were out enjoying ourselves on the dance floor, Tiger stole one of my shoes and took it back to the hotel with him. 

The following day, as DVL and I tooled around town running errands, I received various pictures like the one below, of my shoe seeing the sites of our Nation's Capitol.

All in all, it was a beautiful wedding and a fabulous weekend!

I am certain there are more stories to share, and I may even get around to sharing them at some point, but if I don't - at least you have the pictures, right?

On the Plains of North Dakota...

 A couple of weeks ago Match, Papa, SuperFan, Sissy, BIL, Biggie, Tiny, and SisterSmalls headed to North Dakota. BIL grew up in North Dakota and his parents have a house on Lake Audubon, so Sissy decided that we would baptize SisterSmalls there and make it into a little mini vacation.

That is if you consider staying in a house with 12 adults and 12 children a vacation...

For the sake of this post, let's say I do.

So at the crack of dawn, we set out...

Match, Papa, SuperFan, and I arrived to the airport to find that Sissy had backed up the entire lives of the Smalls family. (To be fair, they were staying for 10 days...)

-

I did have some concerns about flying with three children, but lucky for me, I got the seat next to SisterSmalls and she was easy-peasy!

Match was lucky enough to get both boys in her row. Luckily, Aunt Airplane had Goonies downloaded on the iPad and Biggie kept busy hunting treasure for the two hour flight.

Tiny required a few seat changes, a lot of tractors, a Nintendo DS, and an iPad.

But, kudos to those babies, because they were very well behaved for the entire flight and people even complimented us. 

Sissy and SuperFan enjoyed their childless row.

Biggie's future is so bright he has to wear shades on the plane.

We finally made it and as I posted on instagram - if I pretend like there aren't twelve children running around the part of the yard you can't see, this is a very peaceful view.

That pretty much sums up our first day in North Dakota, and on our second day, when we were supposed to do all of the fun things like ride jet skis and tubes, the skies opened up and the angels cried.

It literally rained all.day.long.

Around 2:00 or so, SisterSmalls started crying and Sissy thought she might be ready for her afternoon bottle.

What a coincidence, I was also ready for mine...

The most important thing was that the sun came out on Sunday. The day that SisterSmalls and her cousin were to be baptized. Followed by a massive party at the lake house.

The food was delicious, the company was great, and I got to ride on a helicopter!

Yes, you read that right. BIL's cousin has a helicopter and he flew it over to the house and gave some rides to the partygoers. 

So fun!

Then we went on a boat ride and Match turned into MamaKennedy.

This is the view of the house and helicopter as we were floating back to the boat dock.

 All in all it was a great trip. Shorter than I would have liked, but we had a lot of fun and I would certainly go back. But only in the summer.

Here is a random picture of Tiny on the Gator. This kid loves him some John Deere products!

Miscellaneous Me

one

are you sure

I have discovered something that makes me crazy! It may be totally irrational, but isn't that how I roll anyway?

If I ask you if you would like me to do something and you reply, "sure," I'm certain to go nuts!

I don't know why, but it just seems so non-committal to me and I can't stand it.

two

weather

We spent the weekend in southern Arizona for a family reunion this weekend.

I love the monsoon in that part of the country. Nothing compares to an afternoon rainstorm down there!

three

sleeping like a baby

Whoever started using that term to mean that they had a great night sleep should be punched in the wiener!

At the family reunion, I shared a room with Sissy, BIL, and SisterSmalls.

SisterSmalls doesn't sleep through the night.

Reassuring me that I'm not sure I'd like to have children of my own.

It's a good thing she is cute!

three

tool time

I got a tool to help me with my calluses from CrossFit.

This baby is a little dangerous, but it seems to have shaved my calluses down.

We'll see if it helps.

four

little sister

On Friday I will fly to Boise to pick up Sissy's new car and drive it home.

Fourteen hours in the car by myself.

Wish me luck.

And remind her of this when it comes to buy me gifts, please.