TMNT and NKOTB

I am going to apologize for two things:

1. The design of this blog. I am working on it. I promise. I'm about to buy a book that will teach me how to do exactly what I want. Until then, you have to put up with what you see.

2. Being a bad blogger. This Thanksgiving weekend totally got out of my control and I ended up not getting done the things that I wanted to get done and blogging was on that list.

That being said, I do have a story for you: 

Way back in the "good ol' days," we used to spend a lot of time with our cousins Prince William and YogaHippie.

Back then Prince William and Bunner LOVED the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Heroes in a half shell. Turtle Power!)

Us girls LOVED the New Kids on the Block. (Ok, maybe it isn't so past-tense for me.)

So we came up with this silly game to make the boys do whatever we wanted. It was kind of like truth or dare, without the truth, but add points.

The boys got TMNT points. The girls got NKOTB points.

Only I'm not sure anyone ever kept score. (Although I wouldn't be surprised if Sissy pulled a tally sheet out one of these days only to show that she was the winner by some obscene number of points. And it would probably be accompanied by some Halloween candy that she stashed away until everyone else was out.)

And there was no set prize for the person who won the most points.

But, boy did it keep us entertained for a long time.

Back in those days, we also used to take an annual trip to a specific hotel in Flagstaff.

The hotel had an indoor pool and our parents would take us there and basically let us run around the place for a weekend.

We came up with all kinds of ways for people to get points.

From the second floor, there were openings to the pool below. With a bucket of ice, you could rack up all kinds of points.

And I can not confirm or deny that one of the boys received A LOT of TMNT points for peeing in the corner of the elevator.

On Thursday, Match and SuperFan wrapped all of the napkins and silverware with orange ribbon. After lunch, Biggie noticed it and decided that he and Uncle Bunner needed to become Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Grounded

In yesterday's post I mentioned a story about when BFL, Sissy, and I were grounded from the car, which just happened to be a super-sick Dodge Grand Caravan. (No, I'm not kidding.)

I was talking to Match last night about the post and we started talking about that story and I started crying because I was laughing so hard, so I thought I would share with all of you.

(I looked for pictures of the minivan, but couldn't find any - sorry.)

(Match, do you remember what year the model we had was?)

Anyway, back to the story.

Let me set the stage for you:

BFL was 19, Sissy was 14, and I was 13. We typically spent our mornings "chopping cotton" on my uncle's farm. Match.mom was our crew boss.

BFL was pretty much living with us during the summer and her family lived next door.

We spent a lot of nights "cruising" in the van. (Match you may want to stop reading real quick...) We were the fastest car in town - the only car that could beat us was Vinnie's El Camino. And we used to do things like spin donuts in the lot at the cotton gin down the road, and jump the railroad tracks in Valencia.

The great thing about the van was that it fit a lot of us. We're talking BFL, Sissy, Rejuba, YogaHippy, Freckles, Quintomom, and me.

So, one night BFL, Sissy, and I were hanging out, jumping on the trampoline and wasting time when this crazy girl came over and basically kidnapped BFL's younger brother (I think he may have been 17 at the time.)

We weren't going to stand for that, but it was late and Match and Papa were sleeping. We didn't want to wake them up with something as silly as, "Can we take the car to find BFL's brother?"

Instead, we put it in neutral, pushed it out of the carport, started it up and headed into town. I really don't know how long we were gone, but it didn't seem like very long to me.

However, when we returned Match was standing in the carport in her nightgown with BFL's mom and they DID. NOT. Look. Happy.

We pulled into the carport, got of the car and the proverbial shit hit the fan!

Match was yelling the F-word (I think it was the first time I ever heard her use it.) BFL's dad apparently got in his car and went looking for us. (Kind of silly considering we lived in the middle of nowhere and there was no telling where we would have gone.) They were all worried, what if something happened, blah, blah, blah. This was in the time before cell phones.

Match was yelling like we'd never heard her yell before. Sissy and I went into the laundry room (which was not attached to the house) for some reason and we lost BFL. Assuming she went home we ran into our house and got into our beds fully dressed. I'm pretty sure we even had shoes on.

We were laying there, pretending to be asleep, when Match opened our bedroom door and in an angry voice said, "Have you seen BFL?" We said that we didn't know where she was and Match said, "Well if you see her, tell her that her mom is looking for her."

I don't know what Sissy was thinking, but I was thinking It is unlikely that I'm going to see her, I am going to stay in this bed, in these clothes, until I think you have calmed down. If I have to stay here for 3 weeks, so be it. (Match is very scary when she's angry.)

About five minutes after Match left, we hear a strange noise coming from our closet.

The closet in our room was not quite a walk-in, but it was close. It was also full of the clothing, shoes, and other belongings of two and half teenage girls - it was not a safe place to be in the dark.

We lay there a little longer and then we hear it again.

It sounded like a baby kitten was in our closet.

So Sissy and I get out of bed and open the closet door to find BFL stuck in the corner.

It turns out that when we ran to the laundry room, she ran to the closet and was trying to hide when she tripped over a suitcase or something and then got stuck.

I can't remember if she got out of the closet and went home to face her mom, but I do know that we never "borrowed" the van again without permission.

And BFL's brother made it home safe.

But he still has a thing for attracting crazy broads!

And you NEVER. I repeat, NEVER. Want to meet an angry Match.mom in the carport in her nightgown.

If you get there, light a fire in the house, it'll be easier to deal with.

(Just kidding, Match. I love you!)

Happy Birthday! - UPDATEDx2

Happy Birthday to SuperFan today!

In honor of her birthday, I thought I'd tell you a few of my favorite things about my mini-me.

How cute is she?

• On the day that SuperFan was born, PapaBear was taking Sissy, Bunner, and me to the hospital to see her. It happened to be an overcast day. During the drive, PapaBear was telling us that they had not yet chosen a name for our new baby sister and asked if we had any suggestions. Bunner looked out the car window and asked, "Can we name her Cloudy Sky?"

Bunner and SuperFan in matching Christmas PJs

• She also loved to dress herself, from a very young age. Sometimes she would walk into the kitchen wearing a polka dot shirt and striped shorts and we would say, "SuperFan, that doesn't match." Without missing a beat she would respond (pointing to a pink polka dot and a pink stripe simultaneously), "Yes it does. Pink to pink."

• She took dance classes when she was pretty small and she was always a character on stage. One year for her recital she had a costume that was blue, pink, and yellow, with a little skirt. After that recital, I bet she wore that outfit every day for a year.

• She used to sing the words of songs wrong! One of her favorites was Tracy Lawrence's If the Good Die Young - only she would walk around the house with headphones on singing, "If the good dieyo." 

• Sissy was ALWAYS late (still is). So when we were in school, we'd all be piled into our minivan - BFL, her brother, Match, Bunner, SuperFan, and me - waiting on Sissy. Every day we would try to leave her, and every day, SuperFan would hold the sliding door on the van open crying because she didn't want to leave Sissy behind. (I still contend that if we would have left her a couple of times back then, she would be more respectful of other people's time today...)

SuperFan and Sissy in matching sweatshirts - we sure like to match a lot...

• One summer, BFL, Sissy, YogaHippy, and I wanted to go shopping so Match made us take SuperFan with us. (We were just getting our car privileges back - having been grounded for sneaking the car out one night to find BFL's brother.) One of our favorite things to do back in those days was to "cruise town" in the minivan (don't laugh - we were awesome!). So after a day of shopping we decided that we needed to cruise for a while, despite it being very close to our curfew. We ran across some friends of ours and they started a water fight with us. Needless to say, we were late, but we had some great story for why we were late. Superfan totally ruined it the next morning when we woke up and she told Match, "We had a water fight with the boys." We were grounded from the car again.

• When I was in college, SuperFan would come and visit sometimes. One time, when IT and I lived in our super small apartment, she came for like a week or something before we went on vacation. A couple of days she went to work with me and a couple of days she stayed home with IT. One afternoon, both IT and I were home and we were cooking and needed something from the grocery store, which was just across the street. (Ok, it may have been a major thoroughfare...) So we sent SuperFan to get it. Walking. She couldn't have been more than 13 years old at the time. She acted like we abused her. (Of course she still talks about the trauma to this day. I was just trying to help her develop her independence and confidence - I think it worked.)

• SuperFan has never met a stranger. She has 1,350 Facebook friends and I would bet that she communicates with at least 75% of them on a regular basis.

• I CAN NOT believe I almost forgot this one... For as long as I can remember, SuperFan has loved to bake! She used to bake cookies like it was her job, but for some reason she would always make chocolate chip cookies and they would not spread out, they would stay in balls. So one time she was baking cookies and, unbeknown to any of us, she had decided to experiment. As always, her cookies were shaped like balls and in a container in the kitchen. We all sat around the kitchen table talking when Bunner picked up a cookie and took a bite. All of the sudden he spit it out, and yelled, "What in the hell is this?" SuperFan had decided to put coconut in the middle of a couple of cookies to see how it would taste, but she forgot to mark them, so when they came out of the oven they were put into the pile with everything else. Her response, "Oh, I was looking for that one."

• I just talked to SuperFan and she reminded me of something else - she is crazy emotional! The girl will cry at the drop of a hat! Example: when she read this blog. She is funny that way.

There are a million stories and memories. She is a great sister and friend!

Happy Birthday, SuperFan! I hope you have a most fabulous day!

Herbisms...

Last week Granny B forced my cousins and me to organize a lunch together. It was hell trying to find a day and time that worked, but once it was done, I was so glad that we did!

First of all, I hadn't seen my Texas Cousins in six years - and let me tell you - they have grown up!

Second of all, we had a blast!

They reminded me of some things and inspired this post.

I was lucky enough to grow up with all four of my grandparents alive and near me. I realize now how rare that actually is. As a child, we spent a lot of time with our grandparents, but mostly with Granny B and Popie*. Sissy, YogaHippy*, and I used to have slumber parties at their house all of the time. During these slumber parties we would play church, make up dances, swim, run around the farm, and just generally have a good time.

Some of my favorite memories were on the farm as a child.

Our Popie was great! He would drive us to the store and let us each pick out a candy, or take us to Sav-Mart to buy Snickers for the freezees that Granny B would make us after dinner. He would spend all day sitting on a chair by the pool while we swam - and let me tell you, three elementary aged girls can swim for a number of hours without breaks.

But more than anything, Popie had the greatest sayings.

When we would go to Sav-Mart to get Snickers, we would always get Poore Brother Salt & Vinegar chips too. And undoubtedly, he would say to us, "You're gonna be a fatso like Popie." It makes me laugh just to type it.

Us girls always thought that it was a lot of fun to climb up into the cotton trailers on the farm. However, in our infinite wisdom, we never thought that there was only a ladder on the outside of the trailers - the theory being that once it is full of cotton, you wouldn't need a ladder to get out. Nonetheless, we'd climb up there and get stuck. And Popie would come around and help us get out.

Allegedly, when Match.mom and Xou were younger and they would do things like that he would tell them, "If you can't get down, fall down." But that was never the case with his granddaughters.

If ever you complained about something in front of him, he would say, "If you're looking for sympathy, you'll find it in the dictionary between shit and syphilis."

And you never said that you wished for something in front of him without getting, "You can wish in one hand, and shit in the other, and see which one fills up first."

I know that there are more sayings, but I just can't think of them.

For a majority of my high school years, Popie had to have kidney dialysis. For some reason, Granny B would always call on me when she needed help. So there was many a summer day that I would either take him to dialysis or pick him up. I used to hate doing it. But looking back now, I would give anything for one more long car ride with him. To talk about nothing in particular.

When he passed away my freshman year of college, I was devastated. I still remember where I was when Match.mom called me. And that IT took me to see Girl, Interrupted to get my mind off of it. Probably not the best movie choice, but it was the thought that counted.

Sissy and I decided that we would like to write a poem to read at the funeral with YogaHippy. Below is the poem.

I still don't know how we got through it at the funeral without breaking down.

I can't do that today.

For nineteen years he watched us grow,
There wasn't anything he didn't know.
Mr. Arizona he was known to be,
To us, our Popie, more importantly.

He used to take us to the store at Hassayampa,
Just me, and me, and me, and grandpa.
We laughed all the way because he'd drive so slow,
We never thought we'd get where we wanted to go.

What about when we wanted to swim,
We couldn't do it without him.
He'd sit outside and watch us play,
All afternoon, day after day.

Up into the cotton trailers we would climb,
Even though we got stuck every time.
We were far from brave, but we never feared,
We knew it wouldn't be long until his pick-up truck appeared.

Even though we must have been pains,
We never heard our Popie complain.
He picked us up and chauffeured us around,
He wasn't the type to let anyone down.

Now he's with God in Heaven above,
We send him our prayers, we send him our love.
There's one more thing we want him to know,
Popie - We miss you so.