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Thursday, January 31, 2008

Listen Up Everyboy If You Wanna Take A Chance...

...Just get on the floor and do the New Kids dance.

Oh yes, bitches, NKOTB is back! According to a myriad of sources (beginning with IT Girl) the New Kids On The Block are making a comeback!

And I am not ashamed to say that I am STOKED!! (No kidding, I just signed up for their email list.) If they come to Arizona and the tickets are reasonable - I will be there!!! (Just a hint for any of you looking for gifts for me...) I can vividly remember Sissy and my bedroom growing up literally plastered with TeenBeat pages of NKOTB - I was a major Donnie Wahlberg fan!

Stay posted - I may be put in a trance with their funky song...

Sunday, January 27, 2008

We Regret To Inform You...

...That your sons are dead because they were stupid.

Ok, maybe that's a little harsh, and he certainly isn't dead, but Landscaper had an official name change on Dec. 1. He will now be known as Mr. Jean Sandwich*.

Yes, you read that right - he got married again and is now the husband of Svetlana Jean Sandwich.

Some people will never learn...

This JUST Got Interesting...

I'm pleased to say that a week in California has left me with some good blogging material. I'm going to start out with a cast of characters for ease of posting and reading.

Honker*: Honker and I are affiliated through work and I will most likely see him on a semi-regular basis.

E85*: E85 is a new character, but we may be hoping that he comes into the picture more often.

Antique*: I met antique back in November at a meeting and enjoyed his company. We have a mutual acquaintance who lives in AZ.

EID*: EID is a girl that I met in November who is a sales rep for an ag company. She travels to many of the same events that I do.

My trip started out early on Tuesday morning with a flight to Sacramento. I had a meeting in Sac for most of the day and then I was scheduled to drive up to Red Bluff for the remainder of the week. There is an annual Bull & Gelding Sale in Red Bluff and I was going to join Honker and his crew in a trade show booth.

Wednesday was scheduled to be a pretty slow day, one of the girls and I were going to put the booth up and hold down the fort for the day. I had planned to spend most of my time checking out dudes and getting my bearings. After putting up the booth, we walked around a little and the staff girl introduced me to some folks.

Around lunch time E85 arrived.

E85 (to me): Hi, I'm E85.
Me: Hi, I'm Airplane, nice to meet you.
E85: I saw you yesterday at the summit, but I didn't know you so I couldn't say hi.
Me: You probably could have, it wouldn't have been much harder than it just was.

We talked a little more about what I was doing there, what he does, and other randomness. He realized that I was kind of a big deal and then went off to lunch.

Thursday was the day that Honker was scheduled to come up for the remainder of the weekend, no big deal, right? Wrong. Around lunch time he came to the booth and asked if I wanted to grab lunch with him - I was hungry so I agreed. We had lunch and then moseyed around the horse barn for a bit. We walked past a very small boy whose mother was trying to keep him from running away and then we stopped at the bottom of the bleachers to watch the horses show for a while. All of the sudden I look over and the little boy is running for me. Just before he got to me, his mom caught him, but he just kept staring at me and smiling.

Honker: He sure likes you.
Me: Yeah, I have a way with younger men.
Honker: I can see why.

I go on about my business ignoring his comment, until later that evening the following conversation ensues:

Honker (to me): Do you have plans tonight?
Me: No
Honker: Ok, well I have to meet some folks for dinner, but why don't you give me a call later if you want to go out.
Me: Ummm, ok. (Thinking to myself - you have dinner plans, I don't - why don't you call me when you're done with dinner.)

We finish closing up the booth and he tells me and the other girl that he'll see us tomorrow, then looks at me:

Honker: Unless you get bored later and need someone to talk to.
Me: Yeah, I'll call you if I get sad and lonely.

I was so confused by him that I got some dinner, went back to my hotel room and did some work on my computer without calling.

Friday night is the big night at this week long event. It is the night of the horse sale and apparently it is a drunkfest. I have to admit that I had been looking forward to it all week. But the fun started much earlier in the day. During the dog sale, EID and I went in to take a look at what the dogs were selling for. (Just in case you were wondering the high dog went for $16,300. And no, I did not add an extra zero on there...) While we were fighting our way to the front of the crowd we saw Antique. We both swooned, righted ourselves, and kept watching the show.

(Let me give you some back story on Antique. As I mentioned above, I met him at a meeting in November. He lives in CA and works for a cattle ranch. After meeting him, I checked if he was a member of my organization and he wasn't. Any time I meet someone who is in the industry, but is not a member, I try to follow up with a note and an application. So I did this for Antique - a simple note that went something like, It was nice meeting you at the CCA meeting. Our records indicate that you are not a member, I have enclosed an application and my card, please give me a call if you have any questions. I hope to see you in Reno in February.

So Christmas rolls around and I see our mutual acquaintance at an event and he basically tells me that because of my letter, Antique is going to Reno. I was stoked, if not a little confused.)

Back to Red Bluff - let me mention right now that it has now rained for most of Thursday and all of Friday, so the ground is flooded and there is water everywhere. The horse sale is set to start at 5, with doors opening at 3:30. All is going as planned until 4:30 rolls around and the power goes out. There is no power in the trade show tents and no power in the sale pavilion. We wait around a while for it to come back on, and when it doesn't, Honker, another staff girl, and I decide to go to dinner. We walk out to the parking lot together and then decide that we should consolidate and only take one car. I'm at a different hotel than they are so Honker tells the other girl to go to their hotel, he'll pick me up at my hotel and then we'll meet her there. Then he turns to me and asks, What is your room number? WHAT? Why would he need my room number? Just go to my hotel and I'll meet you in the parking lot. I literally freaked out! Luckily, you needed a key to get into the building where the rooms were so I was safe, for now. I ran up to my room, changed socks, combed my hair, and went back downstairs to meet him.

Again, I thought that we were going to just run by there and pick up the other girl. I was so very wrong. We pull up to the hotel and he parks. I kind of follow along and then we get in the elevator and start going up to the second floor. Now I'm getting concerned. We walk down the hall and he unlocks his room and holds the door open for me to go inside. I delay a little and say something like, I don't want to invade your private space. He didn't seem concerned so I walked in and sat at the chair at the desk and began furiously texting Diddy. He follows me into the room, sits down on the bed and makes a phone call. He starts talking to the person on the other end of the phone about tile and plumbing. He hangs up the phone, looks at me and says, That was my contractor. So I ask if he's remodeling and he tells me that he bought an apartment complex and he will show me pictures if I want. (Is he trying to impress me?) He then realizes that he forgot his computer in his car and runs down to get it so he can send an email.

Dinner was uneventful, and we decided to go back to the sale after to see what was going on. The other girl said she didn't feel well and she wanted to go back to the hotel, so it was just me and Honker again. I had already decided that I wasn't going to drink that night because I was in a strange place and I like to have my bearings about me. So we go to the sale and walk around. Honker starts drinking and keeps asking me if I want a drink. I continue to say no, sure now that he is trying to get me drunk and take advantage of me...

At the sale, I run into Antique again. He isn't drinking either and we spend some time people watching and talking about Reno. After a while, Honker and I decide we've had enough of the horses and we're going to go to the bar. There are two college kids who are interested in joining us, and I obviously get nominated to drive everyone in Honker's car.

The bar was somewhat uneventful compared to the ride home. When the bar closed, me and the college kids went out one door, but Honker had to get his jacket so he said he'd meet us at the car. We're sitting in the car and the college kids have this conversation (just keep in mind, they are wasted and I am sober):

College Boy: Do you guys mind driving me back to the fairgrounds?
Me: Not at all.
College Girl: Thanks, I'll need to get my car there to go to the hotel.
CB: Are you sure you're ok to drive?
CG: Yes.
(we have a long discussion about me taking her to her hotel and him picking her up in the morning to go back to the sale.)
CB: Wow, I had way too much to drink.
CG: (laughing flirtily) You did drink a lot.
CB: I'm going to feel like a jackass if I wake up my sister and her kids when I go into the motor home.
CG: (clearly the stupidest girl EVER - doesn't pick up on his hint that he wants to go to her hotel) You don't act drunk - they probably won't know.
CB: Ok.
(around this time Honker gets to the car with two other VERY drunk guys who are staying at his hotel.)
CB: I'm going to feel like a jackass if I wake up my sister and her kids when I go into the motor home.
Honker: I have an extra bed - you can stay with me.
CB: Really? That would be great.
Honker: Yeah, that's fine.
CB: Thanks.
CG: (Just now catching on to how stupid she was before) If you could just take me to my hotel that would be great.

So we take her to her hotel, which is actually closer to where I'm staying than where all of the boys are going to stay. Then we go to the boys' hotel and make a plan for the morning pick-up and I head home for some sleep.

Yesterday, things went alright, I picked them up from the hotel in the morning and went to the sale.

At some point during the day, E85 came back and we joked around about how he couldn't stay away from me then he decided that he would go to Reno for my organization's annual convention in February.

The good news for you, my dedicated fans, is that Honker, E85, and Antique will all be in the same place again. The bad news for me is that my life is out of control!

Friday, January 18, 2008

Can't Hardly Wait...

Many of you know that I am not New Mexico's biggest fan (this may be the understatement of the year), so now that I travel to the Land of Enchantment on a semi-regular basis for work my mom is convinced that I'm going to fall in love with a New Mexican rancher and be forced to move there. I have denied that this would ever happen, but we may have hit a bump in the road...

Preston Meyers lives in New Mexico. Not the actual Preston Meyers (mostly because he only exists as a character on a movie), but a guy who looks VERY similar to him.; and I can't help but have a crush on him...

The first time I saw PM was at a regional meeting soon after I started my job. The whole situation was chaotic and I didn't talk to him, but I did see him and think to myself, Self, that is a cute guy in New Mexico. I didn't think much of it and went on my way.

In December I was in the ABQ for a meeting and I saw him again. This is where my crush started to deepen. (Right now I'll interject that I haven't actually had a real conversation with him - mostly because I am retarded when it comes to talking to guys that I like. But that's another story for another post...) It was at the meeting that I discovered that he looked just like Preston.

This week I was in Roswell for a two day symposium and I spent the majority of time by my booth. It wasn't until the second day at lunch that I realized he was there. I was walking back from the lunch buffet when I came up on the table he was sitting at. He was involved in a conversation with the folks at his table and just when I approached the table, he looked up, stopped talking, and said hello. I smiled and said hi - and walked away before my face started turning red...

In other Alien-town news - there was an older gent at the symposium that I had met before and caught up with him over lunch. He joked about me travelling too much to have a boyfriend, but working to find me one. We all laughed and when the rest of the table engaged in other conversation he turned to me and the following conversation ensued:

Gent: We joked about it, Airplane, but seriously, do you have a beau?
Me: No, I don't.
Gent: Well, you're a very pretty girl, you will have no trouble finding one. (Ha!) You have a great personality, you're pretty, a good guy will come along...

I hope he's right - I can't hardly wait...

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

On The Road Again....

I see some interesting sights on the road that don't warrant a whole blog, but are worth mentioning:


- In St. David, AZ, on a building that doesn't look big enough to hold one person sitting in a chair, there was a sign that said, "Barber Shop, Open Tuesday and Friday"


- A cattle producer wearing (and I wish I was making this up) lace-up boots that went almost to his knee, with his pants tucked in, and stuck into the top of the boots were tools. I am not kidding, folks, there were at least two tools in each boot, including a leatherman. I'm still not sure how the handles don't poke him when he bends his knees...


- Somewhere on the road between El Paso, TX and Roswell, NM a water tower that was painted with "Voted New Mexico's Best Water Out of the Tap 2003." Really? Who votes on that?
-Rain Man in the Sacramento Airport - literally yelling out random things such as, THAT'S A MATTER OF OPINION, for no apparent reason.

Show Us Your Colors!

Diddy, Banana, and I once again attended a UA basketball game together; and like the first, this one did not lack for excitement.

This time Banana got a group of UA peeps together to attend the UA vs. ASU game at Wells Fargo Arena in Tempe. Late decision making and last minute planning put us literally at the top of the arena. We were sitting against the wall (as you'll recall, Banana sat in the same place at McKale) and were mostly surrounded by Devils. (I'm going to interject right here that ASU fans suck! Not just because they cheer for the wrong team, but because they are boring!) Diddy, Banana, and I are a little more excitable about our basketball team. We stood for the whole game (there is a benefit to sitting against the wall) and yelled our hearts out. (We had to be careful though because the air is thin way up there and we almost passed out a couple of times.)

Banana is HILARIOUS at basketball games! Some examples of things she yelled:

Hey, Ref, you need to come up here and watch the game, because that's not what I saw.

(When ASU shot an air ball) Nice shot. I'd like to see that one again later.

Your whistle is in your mouth. (Then when the people around us looked at her, she said, He couldn't find it, and it's in his mouth.)

There were many more that I can't remember. Suffice it to say we laughed a lot. Until the game went into overtime and thanks to the refs, the Devils won the game for the first time in 12 years.

However, the funniest part of the night came in the parking garage...

As you can imagine, the place was packed with an arena full of people trying to exit. The three of us were in Banana's truck moving along at a turtle's pace, when we came to a crossroads - three lines of traffic trying to merge. (Normally, we are of the belief that each car allows one car to go in front of them to be fair, but we broke that rule this night.) As we were merging there was a small black car trying to get in front of us, we were trying to determine if they were UA or ASU fans, but they had jackets on over their shirts so we couldn't tell. So Banana rolled down her window and grabbed her shirt, yelling, Show us your colors! They yelled back that they were ASU fans and she gunned it so they couldn't get in, then yelled out, Sorry, you win some, you lose some.

The people were rolling...