Saturday, November 10, 2007

If I Ruled The World

As many of you know I have a firm belief that if everyone would just come to me for suggestions on how to live, the world would be a much happier place. I have often thought that I should be a life coach as a career (of course there are some people out there who say that I am a little too harsh for that to work...). I am confident that after reading the below post, you will agree that I should rule the world.

As I was waiting in the security line at the Reno Airport this morning, a number of suggestions for improved efficiency (and ways to make me a less angry traveler) came to me. I will list them below. If anyone has a direct link to God or Congress or perhaps the Administration of the Reno/Tahoe Airport - please feel free to pass these along.

1. Create a separate line for idiots, old people, people who have been living under a rock since 9/11/01, and anyone else whose stupidity causes the security lines that I am standing in to move at a snail's pace.

-On a side note: the guy sitting behind me at the gate right now has just dropped the F-bomb no less than 20 times in 3 minutes. I won't go into the reason for his tirade, but let's just say that he could probably benefit from some anger management classes. (Perhaps the fact that he is wearing multicolored striped socks and red clogs is one reason for his explosive anger - I don't know.)

(Back to my suggestions for the world...)

2. On Saturday mornings, (which seem to be very busy travel days here in Reno/Tahoe) have a reasonable number of mags open. I'm not saying we need to fully staff all security points on Tuesdays at 2 pm, but let's use a little common sense and figure that weekends are going to see a lot of travelers and one magnetometer is not sufficient.

3. Threaten security and gate employees with their lives if they so much as think about creating small talk with the people in line. I'm all for customer service, but your job is to move people through your respective area in the airport and telling us about your new collectors coin (why you would even think we care about that is beyond me) does not help you accomplish this job.

That should do it for this trip, but I would like to mention that I just watched a guy put a whole banana in his mouth and it freaked me out a little bit.

Alright, maybe I'll go put a dollar in the penny slots and see if I can win something...

UPDATE: I won $15 in the penny slots - I ROCK!!!


  1. Hey Airplane -

    Let me know if you need a Vice President of Awesomeness when you are running the world. As I travel too, I have a few words of wisdom for whoever runs the Denver, Houston, Phoenix, Atlanta, Boston, Chicago, San Francisco, Dallas, Philadelphia, Los Angeles, Orange County, and Dulles airports.

    Additionally, I think we could also help out the Hotelling industry - first of all... if they are a "Suites" hotel, with a fridge, microwave, and separate sink... WHY would they not give you utensils with which to eat your food? I'm just saying....

  2. Thoughtful-

    It just so happens that the position of "Assistant Commander of Awesomeness" is currently open and I can always use a good sidekick when ruling the world. I will call you Number 2...