As you read in a previous post, I am the poster child for "Always a bridesmaid, never the bride." Well, this weekend was another one of those stints. Let me take you back to the beginning of this story...
I met Bridezilla* my sophomore year of college when we joined the same sorority. We hung out a little that first year, but it wasn't until the next year that we really became friends. For some reason she came home with me for a long weekend and from that point on we were really close! I was a year ahead of her in school and the year after I graduated we drifted apart, but caught back up around the time she graduated and have been long-distance friends ever since.
One of the things that defined Bridezilla in college was her obsession with the TLC show, A Wedding Story. Seriously, the whole sorority knew that when that was on, she would be in the TV room and silence should reign. (This should give you a clue as to her freakishness with weddings...)
So, let's flashback to about a year ago. Bridezilla calls me to tell me that Lobster* has proposed to her. (I was either just about to be in a wedding or had just finished a wedding stint, I can't remember.) Knowing that they live in Northern California and this is where the wedding will be held, I said, in what I thought was a very polite tone, "Please don't feel like you have to ask me to be in your wedding. My feelings won't be hurt and I know that your Cali friends are hyper-sensitive, so I don't want them to be mad at you." She says, "Don't be stupid, of course you'll be in my wedding."
So as the wedding drew closer, Bridezilla talked about when she wanted us in town, etc. She had asked that we come to town on Thursday for a wedding party get together since the bridesmaids and groomsmen really didn't know each other. Then on Friday we would get our nails done and have the rehearsal and dinner. Obviously, Saturday would be the wedding. Since I was not able to make it to the Bridal Shower and Bachelorette weekend, I thought it would be nice if I arrived on Thursday to be a good bridesmaid. But, in an effort to save money (as has been discussed in earlier posts - I am single and pay my own bills), I asked if I could stay with her that night. She said of course and things were set.
Now, we'll fast forward to the wedding time. I flew into Oakland on Thursday afternoon and (again, trying to be accommodating) took BART to Pleasanton so that no one would have to drive to Oakland to get me. But don't kid yourself - this apparently was not accommodating enough - she could not be bothered to pick me up from the BART station (which is all of 10 minutes from her house), she actually could not even be bothered to take my phone call when I arrived at the BART station. I was in the hands of her sister. Being that I had flown through the lunch hour when I arrived in Pleasanton I was starving. So I asked her sister if we could grab some lunch - she actually had to check with Bridezilla. Luckily for everyone involved she said lunch was permissible and I didn't have to take someone's head off.
I won't bore you with all of the details of the drama that was the wedding, but I do want to hit a couple of highlights:
- When I got to the house for the first time and met one of the groomsmen, he was having the following conversation with Bridezilla:
Bridezilla: How is (insert ridiculous name of cat) doing?
Groomsman: A little better - he is at the vet right now and they did a liver biopsy this morning so we are waiting on those results.
Bridezilla: Wow - I hope he's ok.
Groomsman: Yeah, we can't figure out what is was that would have made him sick, but he started acting strange so we took him to the vet. They did some tests and found an increased level of bilirubin.
Seriously folks, I can't make this shit up. Do you know how much it must have cost to have a liver biopsy done on a cat??? If you have this much money just laying around, please feel free to pay for my seafoam green bridesmaid dress...
- Above mentioned groomsman and his girlfriend took the only extra bed in the house that I had been offered to sleep at and I had to sleep on the floor.
- I wore a seafoam green bridesmaid dress that was too big for me. Enough said.
- Bro* and I got yelled at by the other bridesmaids at least 3 times for doing things so ridiculous as going to the bathroom without first asking permission.
In the end, the wedding was a good time. Bro and I danced the night away and I woke up the next morning with my hips hurting (how old am I??).
I am just happy that the wedding is over and I don't have to be in another one until IT or Superfan decide to get hitched...
