Today is the day that I head to Missouri for the weekend that I have dubbed, "Hillbilly Hell." A former roommate is getting married and I have been asked (surprise, surprise) to be a bridesmaid. As a side note: if anyone has any suggestions of ways to politely turn down a request of this type - I am VERY open to them!
This morning, I was readying myself and my house for the weekend away. This usually consists of taking out the trash, washing the dishes, starting the dishwasher, etc. As I begin to rinse out the sink for dish-washing, I look down and there is a scorpion in it. I try, unsuccessfully to drown him. Then I have a mild heart attack, call Match.mom, and run through my house trying to find a bottle of isopropyl alcohol. (I somehow remember that this kills scorpions.) I don't find any, but I do get Match on the phone. She tells me to calm down and pour bleach on the intruder - after she asks me if I'm sure it's a scorpion. Am I sure?? Are you kidding me???
A half bottle of bleach later, the apparent cockroach-scorpion hybrid has not died. However, I have immobilized him enough that I feel safe reaching into the sink to smash him with something.
After disposing of him properly, I begin to realize what has just happened - a spider in the shower and then a scorpion in the sink - those bastards have just fired a shot across the bow. I DO NOT take that lightly! So, as soon as I return home from the disaster that is going to be this weekend, I am waging war! I will call the exterminator and spread some powdered laundry detergent around the perimeter of my house (apparently this slowly kills scorpions by eating away their flesh).
Just remember, in this battle, "if you're not with us, you're against us!"