Oh, The Awkwardness

So I went on a date on Sunday. In my effort to be open-minded, I agreed to have beers with a guy I had not met, but had talked to on the phone. He was a little awkward on the phone. It was exemplified when we were in person.

I don't even know where to begin...

Let's start with the beers. We at a restaurant that has something like 100 beers on tap. So we get the menus and are deciding what to order. He asks me what kind of beer I like, then begins telling me that he brews his own beer. I have minor concerns about this discussion for various reasons, but let it pass.

Then we order our beers. He orders a chocolate stout and I order a Shiner Bock. They come and I ask him if he has ever been to the brewery in Tempe. He said he hasn't so I tell him that they have a DELICIOUS oatmeal stout that I highly recommend. He asks if I've ever had the one he ordered. I say no. He hands it to me to try.

Granted, he has not taken a drink out of it yet, but we don't know each other. I was a little freaked out. But not wanting to be offensive, I tried it. It was good.

So we drink our beers while he talks about the most random subjects you can think of. Including, but not limited to: dehydrating food, left guard lock, dishwasher installation, Craig's List, etc.

Then, we order our second beers, each of us gets a different one the second time around. And when they come - he has me taste his again. I just don't think this is normal...

Like Sands Through The Hourglass...

You know, they say things happen for a reason. It sure seems like horseshit when they happen to you though.

As of this morning, it turns out a new job will be happening for me.

So, let's all say, "Cheers" to new and exciting adventures!

And stay tuned for what those might be...

After all, these ARE the days of our lives.

UPDATE: Turns out the reason for this may have been to show me how wonderful my friends are! I'm seriously touched today!

The Adventures of Granny B and Airplane

For the past two days I have spent a lot of time with Granny Baller. We were scheduled to have lunch yesterday and when I arrived at her house she told me that we just had to wait for the painter to come to give her an estimate. Simple enough, right? Wrong. We also had to pick out a color for her house to be painted and what started out as off-white, quickly escalated to gold. So after an hour of paint chipping (and me talking her out of mustard yellow), we decided that the painter would return today at 11 to paint samples of each color on the wall for us to choose. Then we headed to lunch and ran errands for another two hours. No big deal.

But I was to return today at 11 to help pick out the paint color. And I knew that after we did that she needed me to run her to the post office. All tasks that I can handle.

After we picked out paint colors, we went to lunch at PJ Fangs. (Granny B LOVES this place!)

Let me take you back in time a couple of months: PJ Fangs had just opened near her house and she wanted to eat there. So we did. When lunch was over she took the plastic chopsticks (ok, I'll admit that IT and I stole a couple pairs of these in college...), and put them in her purse. Then she turned to me and said, these make really good stirrers. I thought to myself, so do spoons. But I let it go and asked her if she wanted mine too. She said that one pair would be enough.

About a month after that, we eat there again. We finish lunch and the same thing happens, only she explains that she uses them to stir paint when she needs to do touch-ups. Ok, whatever.

Back to the present - today after two days of dealing with the painter, we go to PJ Fangs for lunch and before we even get our drinks she puts the chopsticks in her purse and tells me again that she needs them to stir paint. WHAT?? How much paint is she stirring?? And how many touch-ups does she think she'll need to do after the professional comes in next week to repaint the whole house?

Ah, never a dull moment.

Professionalism?

Yesterday the family got together for my grandma's birthday and my cousin, FredAstaire* was there. FredAstaire is an engineer and about a year ago he got a job with a new firm. He has now been there long enough that he has people working under him and he sits in on their interviews.

In the last couple of months, a new guy was hired. We'll call him Eminem*. Eminem is right out of college and FredAstaire has found himself having to teach this young fellow all about proper office behaviors.

For example, they sit in cubicles, and every morning at around 8:02 am, Eminem comes into FredAstaire's cube and stands behind him before making himself known. About a week ago, they had to have their first lesson of cubicle etiquette and Eminem has followed protocol since then.

Then problem #2 arrived. This beats the shit out of problem #1.

Eminem sent FredAstaire an email asking him to review a program for him. (I'm not really sure what exactly that means.) Pretty simple request, right? Wrong.

The email went something like this:

"Yo, bra. This program is totally fizzle. Would you be sick twisted awesome and check it out for me? Thanks, Eminem (ballin') ps - I'm trippin to become the next Eminem."

Friends, I can not make this up. Is this kid serious?

Pictures of the Bees...

The black in that crevice is all bees.



This is how far up the mountain our BeeKiller* had to climb. We are all watching him kill the bees.



Lots of dead bees. And honeycomb. He said that it was like 5 feet tall.



This is BeeKiller*. He was our hero that day. Of course, he didn't get all of the bees, so now he is a zero.

Promises, Promises.

I'm always making promises I can't keep - like writing everyday. I'm so sorry. Truly, nothing that entertaining has happened to me lately.

On another note: I'm thinking about writing a fiction book based loosely on my friends - would you be upset about being in my book??

I'm deciding if the millions that I will make is worth losing my friends over...