A couple of things that I want to touch on...
NKOTB - as mentioned in a previous post, the New Kids on the Block are making a comeback!! And a couple of weeks ago, I went to see them in concert in Glendale. It was a great concert!!! We had bought the tickets in June, so by the time the concert rolled around I was kind of wondering what I was thinking... All doubts were gone as the first notes of my childhood began to play. It was like I was nine years old again - the same dances, the same songs, the same Donnie Wahlberg. It was brilliant!!! And it was all worth it when during the final encore, they came out to sing Hangin' Tough! Seriously, it was awesome! And even at 40, they've still got the moves!
Birthday List - many of you may remember reading the list of things that I would like to accomplish in my 28th year. Well, I'm working on training for the half marathon in January (it may kill me, but I'm doing it!!). I've been working on recognizing my insecurities and I think I'm doing a good job of addressing them. And this weekend, I made a concerted effort to tell someone how I feel. It didn't go as well as I planned, but I'm proud of myself for sticking to my goals. I know that (or at least I hope that) these things are making me a better person and it has made realize how wonderful my friends and family are. Thank you all for being so supportive of my goals and not making me feel like an idiot even when I probably am one.
An addition - I would also like to add something to the list of birthday goals: journaling. Starting today, I am going to try to write in a journal every day - please ask me how I'm doing the next time that you talk to me.
Finally, I need to give a shout out to Carrot*. He has made his way into my top five favorite people (even if he didn't shimmy up the light pole for me...). He chose one of the two easiest ways to get into my Top 5 - he told me I was hilarious!!! I heart you Carrot!!
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Day 4 - Congratulations on Your Engagement
Before everyone points it out to me, I realize that I skipped Day 3. The truth is that not all that much funny or exciting happened.
So we're going to skip right to Day 4. The morning was pretty uneventful, we had some meetings and everything went fairly smoothly. The meetings ended around lunchtime and then we were scheduled to be in a canoe race. For the race we had to be in teams of four with two women and two men and we had to have a team name. Our travel group was perfect and we were "The Malamas." We did not win our canoe race. We weren't as bad as I thought we'd be, but we weren't good either. All in all, we had fun and enjoyed cheering everyone else on.
The best part of the day came in the pool after the races. The four of us were just hanging out, swimming, and going down the slide. One of the other families that was with our group was doing the same thing and we were chatting in the pool. The patriarch of the family asked us when the big day was - referring to the wedding of Banana and Bunner. Without thinking, I say the date.
(Before I go any further, I must tell you that we were pretty sure that most people at the meeting thought that Diddy and I were a couple. Apparently it is very strange for a man and woman to be just friends.)
So the son of the family looks at us kind of strange and says, "Oh, congratulations." Immediately, I say, "not me - my little brother!" I guess I must have been a little passionate about that because everyone was like, "it'll happen for you someday."
Later that night, we were at an event celebrating the agriculture of Hawaii, and the story was brought up again. At this point one of the guys who was also on the trip, who we know very well, told us that someone asked him how long we had been married. Let's get something straight, friends: When I am engaged and subsequently when I am married, I will be wearing a ring, with a beautiful diamond on it - until that point, go ahead and assume that I am not either of the above listed things.
After we had our fill of Hawaii-grown products at the event, we headed back to the hotel to have a couple of drinks and then head to bed. Because we are the type of people who don't really like other people, we chose a table away from the bar. It wasn't until after we sat down that we realized that there was some kind of reception (I use that term loosely) going on next to us.
Because of who we are, Match.mom and I started trying to figure out what was going on. Let me set the scene for you:
There are about 20 people sitting at 6 different tables. The table closest to us had a family all wearing white tops and khaki bottoms. The table next to them had 6 people at it - 3 women and 3 men. Two of the women had flower wreaths on their heads and everyone at the table was at 70 years old. Another table held all women and one was clearly mentally handicapped. The other tables were normal - no matching, no special ed. There was a very small cake (a miniature wedding cake, if you will) at the edge of their dining area. After dinner, when they got up to cut the cake, four people (2 men and the 2 women with flower headpieces) participated. The weirdest part of it was that they only used one knife. Four hands, one knife. Then it occurred to us that the two women were wearing the same dress, different fabric. And each woman's dress matched her respective man's shirt.
My explanation was swinger wedding - I'm open to your thoughts.
There are two other things that are worth mentioning about this "party":
1. It was so boring that they started having foot races in the grass. And not just the kids. The adults were doing it too. But during one foot race an older woman was racing a six-year-old girl and she didn't let her win. The poor little girl was crying. Then they had another race and the dumb bitch beat her again. What is wrong with that woman?!?! I mean, I am competitive, but that is taking it a little too far.
2. Towards the end of the reception the mentally handicapped woman kept asking the waiter if there was a water slide at the hotel. (Keep in mind that we are sitting by the pools.) Then all of the sudden she was missing and no one seemed concerned. I was sure that she had gone to find the water slide and fell in the pool and was drowning. To the point that I was going to go find her. But luckily she returned a short time later.
So we're going to skip right to Day 4. The morning was pretty uneventful, we had some meetings and everything went fairly smoothly. The meetings ended around lunchtime and then we were scheduled to be in a canoe race. For the race we had to be in teams of four with two women and two men and we had to have a team name. Our travel group was perfect and we were "The Malamas." We did not win our canoe race. We weren't as bad as I thought we'd be, but we weren't good either. All in all, we had fun and enjoyed cheering everyone else on.
The best part of the day came in the pool after the races. The four of us were just hanging out, swimming, and going down the slide. One of the other families that was with our group was doing the same thing and we were chatting in the pool. The patriarch of the family asked us when the big day was - referring to the wedding of Banana and Bunner. Without thinking, I say the date.
(Before I go any further, I must tell you that we were pretty sure that most people at the meeting thought that Diddy and I were a couple. Apparently it is very strange for a man and woman to be just friends.)
So the son of the family looks at us kind of strange and says, "Oh, congratulations." Immediately, I say, "not me - my little brother!" I guess I must have been a little passionate about that because everyone was like, "it'll happen for you someday."
Later that night, we were at an event celebrating the agriculture of Hawaii, and the story was brought up again. At this point one of the guys who was also on the trip, who we know very well, told us that someone asked him how long we had been married. Let's get something straight, friends: When I am engaged and subsequently when I am married, I will be wearing a ring, with a beautiful diamond on it - until that point, go ahead and assume that I am not either of the above listed things.
After we had our fill of Hawaii-grown products at the event, we headed back to the hotel to have a couple of drinks and then head to bed. Because we are the type of people who don't really like other people, we chose a table away from the bar. It wasn't until after we sat down that we realized that there was some kind of reception (I use that term loosely) going on next to us.
Because of who we are, Match.mom and I started trying to figure out what was going on. Let me set the scene for you:
There are about 20 people sitting at 6 different tables. The table closest to us had a family all wearing white tops and khaki bottoms. The table next to them had 6 people at it - 3 women and 3 men. Two of the women had flower wreaths on their heads and everyone at the table was at 70 years old. Another table held all women and one was clearly mentally handicapped. The other tables were normal - no matching, no special ed. There was a very small cake (a miniature wedding cake, if you will) at the edge of their dining area. After dinner, when they got up to cut the cake, four people (2 men and the 2 women with flower headpieces) participated. The weirdest part of it was that they only used one knife. Four hands, one knife. Then it occurred to us that the two women were wearing the same dress, different fabric. And each woman's dress matched her respective man's shirt.
My explanation was swinger wedding - I'm open to your thoughts.
There are two other things that are worth mentioning about this "party":
1. It was so boring that they started having foot races in the grass. And not just the kids. The adults were doing it too. But during one foot race an older woman was racing a six-year-old girl and she didn't let her win. The poor little girl was crying. Then they had another race and the dumb bitch beat her again. What is wrong with that woman?!?! I mean, I am competitive, but that is taking it a little too far.
2. Towards the end of the reception the mentally handicapped woman kept asking the waiter if there was a water slide at the hotel. (Keep in mind that we are sitting by the pools.) Then all of the sudden she was missing and no one seemed concerned. I was sure that she had gone to find the water slide and fell in the pool and was drowning. To the point that I was going to go find her. But luckily she returned a short time later.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Day 2 - A Trip Around the Island
So, at the rental car place, PapaBear rented a handy-dandy GPS system. We named her Connie*. And she was a dirty, lying, whore. Seriously, we would ask her what places were near us to eat and she would say that there wasn't anything for 291 miles. I'm pretty sure if we drove 291 miles in a circle, we'd be right back to the exact location that we were in... But, she did serve us well a couple of times.
Well, let me back up here - the minute that we started talking about going to Hawaii, all Diddy could talk about was eating macadamia nut pancakes with coconut syrup (haaaaaamp). So naturally, we wanted to eat them for our first breakfast on the island. This proved much more difficult than it should have been.
Diddy started by asking the Concierge at the hotel if she knew of a place to get them. She informed him that she doesn't have time for breakfast in the morning. So you have no idea where to eat it?? I mean, really?!?! You're the concierge - this is your job!!! However, she pointed us to the bellmen - apparently they like to wake up early and consume the most important meal of the day. So PB goes to the get the car while the three of us head to the belldesk to ask about the pancakes. You would have thought that we just suggested the model for the wheel. They were like, "macadamia nuts? in pancakes? we never thought of that!!!" Really? You put coconut, pineapple, and macnuts (as they call them on the islands) on everything else, but you didn't think of pancakes???? I am not impressed by these people.
Either way, we found a place to have breakfast and it was delicious! But there were no macnut pancakes. After breakfast, we wanted to go to a coffee plantation (I use the term plantation very loosely.) So, I plug it into Connie and she leads us to Kona Blue Sky Coffee. We learned a lot about the process of picking and roasting coffee beans, but were a little disappointed that there was no tour. I'd be lying if I said PB was disappointed, but Match.mom and I were very sad - we love to learn!
After coffee, it was a loooong drive to Hilo. About halfway there, I got bored and started playing with Connie again. I typed in "landmarks" and she told us that a black sand beach was only 8 miles away. PB was on the phone, so Diddy, Match.mom, and I made an executive decision and pointed him in the direction of the beach. Let me tell you, black sand, made from cooled lava, is REALLY hot!!!! But it was one of the coolest things I've ever seen! AND - it was apparently turtle nesting season, and even though Diddy didn't believe me, I found a turtle in the water:
This was the end of the good that Connie did for us. For the rest of the trip, she was a no-good liar!
After the beach, we went to the volcano to see the lava tubes and steam vents. Very neat. At one point, Diddy asked PB, "how do they know it's safe for us to stand here." PB replied, "you're standing on top of a volcano, of course it isn't safe. At any moment this thing could erupt and we would vaporize."
Now, we had a dilemna. We still needed to go to the macadamia nut factory, but we were hungry and all of the restaurants were past the factory so we'd have to backtrack. Since Connie had done so well earlier in the day, we got her out again to find a place to eat. We typed in seafood, and she told us that Happy Valley Seafood was the closest place - so off we went. She lied!!! First, she took us in the most roundabout way to Happy Valley Chinese and Seafood... This is not what we were looking for! But, because of the trek it was to get there, we decided to go in and check it out. We start to order and I order Kung Pao Chicken - figuring that is a pretty safe dish anywhere. The waitress says, "I wouldn't order that. Not here. It's disgusting!" Needless to say, I changed my order and everyone enjoyed lunch much more than we had anticipated.
After lunch it was off to the Mauna Loa Macadamia Nut factory. A pretty uneventful self-guided tour left us wanting more. So we were browsing the gift shop and there happened to be a jewelry counter in the middle of the store. This was a little strange to us, but not a big deal. This particular jewelry counter had bowls full of oysters that you could pay to have opened and keep the pearl inside. So Diddy and I venture over there and are discussing this when the lady behind the counter started talking to us. She told us that normally it was $14.95 to open an oyster, but they had this bucket of coupons and we could pick one and maybe get a deal. So I choose one and it's 50% off. Diddy talks me into choosing an oyster. The Hawaiian lady with a very thick accent begins to tell us that we want to find and "ugly one. And make it fat at bottom." So I start going through the bowl with the little tongs and each time I pick one up, she says, "Dat one? Dat one good!" I finally decide on an oyster and she says, "Oh yeah, dat one good. Dat ugly and fat." She gets it out of the bowl and I tap it in the ritual that she tells me and then she opens it. When she gets it open - chaos erupts. She starts yelling to the other ladies in the shop to come look. She's saying, "Golden. Twin. Come see. Twin, twin." For those of you who don't know - golden pearls are aparently the rarest kind - and I have just chosen an oyster that produced twin golden pearls that were very large! We were like celebrities - all of the other Hawaiian ladies in the shop gathered around and were mesmerized.
It was quite hilarious, and we mimicked the ladies for the remainder of our trip.
Well, let me back up here - the minute that we started talking about going to Hawaii, all Diddy could talk about was eating macadamia nut pancakes with coconut syrup (haaaaaamp). So naturally, we wanted to eat them for our first breakfast on the island. This proved much more difficult than it should have been.
Diddy started by asking the Concierge at the hotel if she knew of a place to get them. She informed him that she doesn't have time for breakfast in the morning. So you have no idea where to eat it?? I mean, really?!?! You're the concierge - this is your job!!! However, she pointed us to the bellmen - apparently they like to wake up early and consume the most important meal of the day. So PB goes to the get the car while the three of us head to the belldesk to ask about the pancakes. You would have thought that we just suggested the model for the wheel. They were like, "macadamia nuts? in pancakes? we never thought of that!!!" Really? You put coconut, pineapple, and macnuts (as they call them on the islands) on everything else, but you didn't think of pancakes???? I am not impressed by these people.
Either way, we found a place to have breakfast and it was delicious! But there were no macnut pancakes. After breakfast, we wanted to go to a coffee plantation (I use the term plantation very loosely.) So, I plug it into Connie and she leads us to Kona Blue Sky Coffee. We learned a lot about the process of picking and roasting coffee beans, but were a little disappointed that there was no tour. I'd be lying if I said PB was disappointed, but Match.mom and I were very sad - we love to learn!
After coffee, it was a loooong drive to Hilo. About halfway there, I got bored and started playing with Connie again. I typed in "landmarks" and she told us that a black sand beach was only 8 miles away. PB was on the phone, so Diddy, Match.mom, and I made an executive decision and pointed him in the direction of the beach. Let me tell you, black sand, made from cooled lava, is REALLY hot!!!! But it was one of the coolest things I've ever seen! AND - it was apparently turtle nesting season, and even though Diddy didn't believe me, I found a turtle in the water:
This was the end of the good that Connie did for us. For the rest of the trip, she was a no-good liar!
After the beach, we went to the volcano to see the lava tubes and steam vents. Very neat. At one point, Diddy asked PB, "how do they know it's safe for us to stand here." PB replied, "you're standing on top of a volcano, of course it isn't safe. At any moment this thing could erupt and we would vaporize."
Now, we had a dilemna. We still needed to go to the macadamia nut factory, but we were hungry and all of the restaurants were past the factory so we'd have to backtrack. Since Connie had done so well earlier in the day, we got her out again to find a place to eat. We typed in seafood, and she told us that Happy Valley Seafood was the closest place - so off we went. She lied!!! First, she took us in the most roundabout way to Happy Valley Chinese and Seafood... This is not what we were looking for! But, because of the trek it was to get there, we decided to go in and check it out. We start to order and I order Kung Pao Chicken - figuring that is a pretty safe dish anywhere. The waitress says, "I wouldn't order that. Not here. It's disgusting!" Needless to say, I changed my order and everyone enjoyed lunch much more than we had anticipated.
After lunch it was off to the Mauna Loa Macadamia Nut factory. A pretty uneventful self-guided tour left us wanting more. So we were browsing the gift shop and there happened to be a jewelry counter in the middle of the store. This was a little strange to us, but not a big deal. This particular jewelry counter had bowls full of oysters that you could pay to have opened and keep the pearl inside. So Diddy and I venture over there and are discussing this when the lady behind the counter started talking to us. She told us that normally it was $14.95 to open an oyster, but they had this bucket of coupons and we could pick one and maybe get a deal. So I choose one and it's 50% off. Diddy talks me into choosing an oyster. The Hawaiian lady with a very thick accent begins to tell us that we want to find and "ugly one. And make it fat at bottom." So I start going through the bowl with the little tongs and each time I pick one up, she says, "Dat one? Dat one good!" I finally decide on an oyster and she says, "Oh yeah, dat one good. Dat ugly and fat." She gets it out of the bowl and I tap it in the ritual that she tells me and then she opens it. When she gets it open - chaos erupts. She starts yelling to the other ladies in the shop to come look. She's saying, "Golden. Twin. Come see. Twin, twin." For those of you who don't know - golden pearls are aparently the rarest kind - and I have just chosen an oyster that produced twin golden pearls that were very large! We were like celebrities - all of the other Hawaiian ladies in the shop gathered around and were mesmerized.
It was quite hilarious, and we mimicked the ladies for the remainder of our trip.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Day 1 - Malama Kamehameha
Day 1 of our trip started out nothing less than adventurous. Our flight was scheduled to leave Phoenix at 6:00 am, so we woke up at the crack of dawn and planned to arrived at the airport no later than 5. Most of you know that I am a FREAK about schedules, I hate being late, and I'm obessessed with travel plans. Also, most of you know my family. So, it will come as no surprise to you that things didn't go as planned. In fact, when we arrived in Phoenix to check our bags we were so late that they weren't even going to let us on the plane. Fortunately, our bags got checked and we arrived at the gate just as they were boarding the plane. Much to our surprise and delight our bags got to Hawaii with us.
The flights were pretty uneventful and we landed in Hawaii around 11:30. PapaBear went to get the car while the rest of us gathered the luggage. I have long held the belief that there should be an age limit on tube top wearing, and while waiting for PapaBear to return, a perfect example of that pulled up:
Later in the day, we were driving to the north part of the island, when we encountered some road construction. Seemed normal until we saw the sign that said, "Seismic Retrofit in Progress." I'm not sure, but seismic retrofit does not sound pleasant to me. That actually sounds like a euphamism for earthquake.
One of our first tourist stops on the island was at the original statue of King Kamehameha. While there, the town drunk stopped to talk to my dad. He was full of interesting information. For example, the statue is the actual size of the king. And according to Match.mom, he wears a yellow thong...
I apologize that this last story can not be printed in it's entirety, but if you want to hear it in full, you can call me and I'll tell you... But suffice it to say that Malama does not mean "kill."
The flights were pretty uneventful and we landed in Hawaii around 11:30. PapaBear went to get the car while the rest of us gathered the luggage. I have long held the belief that there should be an age limit on tube top wearing, and while waiting for PapaBear to return, a perfect example of that pulled up:
Later in the day, we were driving to the north part of the island, when we encountered some road construction. Seemed normal until we saw the sign that said, "Seismic Retrofit in Progress." I'm not sure, but seismic retrofit does not sound pleasant to me. That actually sounds like a euphamism for earthquake.
One of our first tourist stops on the island was at the original statue of King Kamehameha. While there, the town drunk stopped to talk to my dad. He was full of interesting information. For example, the statue is the actual size of the king. And according to Match.mom, he wears a yellow thong...
I apologize that this last story can not be printed in it's entirety, but if you want to hear it in full, you can call me and I'll tell you... But suffice it to say that Malama does not mean "kill."
Hawaii - The Series
As many of you know, Match.Mom*, PapaBear, Diddy, and I recently took a business trip to Hawaii. It was an adventure to say the least. From kings to turtles to swinger weddings, we did it all. I will write the stories as a series for ease of reading, and they will probably be a day per post, but I can't make any promises becuase I just write the way it comes to me...
I hope you enjoy! (And if you want to have an adventure of your own, the four of us are willing to go on other people's vacations if they pay for us...)
I hope you enjoy! (And if you want to have an adventure of your own, the four of us are willing to go on other people's vacations if they pay for us...)
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