Sunday, January 27, 2008

This JUST Got Interesting...

I'm pleased to say that a week in California has left me with some good blogging material. I'm going to start out with a cast of characters for ease of posting and reading.

Honker*: Honker and I are affiliated through work and I will most likely see him on a semi-regular basis.

E85*: E85 is a new character, but we may be hoping that he comes into the picture more often.

Antique*: I met antique back in November at a meeting and enjoyed his company. We have a mutual acquaintance who lives in AZ.

EID*: EID is a girl that I met in November who is a sales rep for an ag company. She travels to many of the same events that I do.

My trip started out early on Tuesday morning with a flight to Sacramento. I had a meeting in Sac for most of the day and then I was scheduled to drive up to Red Bluff for the remainder of the week. There is an annual Bull & Gelding Sale in Red Bluff and I was going to join Honker and his crew in a trade show booth.

Wednesday was scheduled to be a pretty slow day, one of the girls and I were going to put the booth up and hold down the fort for the day. I had planned to spend most of my time checking out dudes and getting my bearings. After putting up the booth, we walked around a little and the staff girl introduced me to some folks.

Around lunch time E85 arrived.

E85 (to me): Hi, I'm E85.
Me: Hi, I'm Airplane, nice to meet you.
E85: I saw you yesterday at the summit, but I didn't know you so I couldn't say hi.
Me: You probably could have, it wouldn't have been much harder than it just was.

We talked a little more about what I was doing there, what he does, and other randomness. He realized that I was kind of a big deal and then went off to lunch.

Thursday was the day that Honker was scheduled to come up for the remainder of the weekend, no big deal, right? Wrong. Around lunch time he came to the booth and asked if I wanted to grab lunch with him - I was hungry so I agreed. We had lunch and then moseyed around the horse barn for a bit. We walked past a very small boy whose mother was trying to keep him from running away and then we stopped at the bottom of the bleachers to watch the horses show for a while. All of the sudden I look over and the little boy is running for me. Just before he got to me, his mom caught him, but he just kept staring at me and smiling.

Honker: He sure likes you.
Me: Yeah, I have a way with younger men.
Honker: I can see why.

I go on about my business ignoring his comment, until later that evening the following conversation ensues:

Honker (to me): Do you have plans tonight?
Me: No
Honker: Ok, well I have to meet some folks for dinner, but why don't you give me a call later if you want to go out.
Me: Ummm, ok. (Thinking to myself - you have dinner plans, I don't - why don't you call me when you're done with dinner.)

We finish closing up the booth and he tells me and the other girl that he'll see us tomorrow, then looks at me:

Honker: Unless you get bored later and need someone to talk to.
Me: Yeah, I'll call you if I get sad and lonely.

I was so confused by him that I got some dinner, went back to my hotel room and did some work on my computer without calling.

Friday night is the big night at this week long event. It is the night of the horse sale and apparently it is a drunkfest. I have to admit that I had been looking forward to it all week. But the fun started much earlier in the day. During the dog sale, EID and I went in to take a look at what the dogs were selling for. (Just in case you were wondering the high dog went for $16,300. And no, I did not add an extra zero on there...) While we were fighting our way to the front of the crowd we saw Antique. We both swooned, righted ourselves, and kept watching the show.

(Let me give you some back story on Antique. As I mentioned above, I met him at a meeting in November. He lives in CA and works for a cattle ranch. After meeting him, I checked if he was a member of my organization and he wasn't. Any time I meet someone who is in the industry, but is not a member, I try to follow up with a note and an application. So I did this for Antique - a simple note that went something like, It was nice meeting you at the CCA meeting. Our records indicate that you are not a member, I have enclosed an application and my card, please give me a call if you have any questions. I hope to see you in Reno in February.

So Christmas rolls around and I see our mutual acquaintance at an event and he basically tells me that because of my letter, Antique is going to Reno. I was stoked, if not a little confused.)

Back to Red Bluff - let me mention right now that it has now rained for most of Thursday and all of Friday, so the ground is flooded and there is water everywhere. The horse sale is set to start at 5, with doors opening at 3:30. All is going as planned until 4:30 rolls around and the power goes out. There is no power in the trade show tents and no power in the sale pavilion. We wait around a while for it to come back on, and when it doesn't, Honker, another staff girl, and I decide to go to dinner. We walk out to the parking lot together and then decide that we should consolidate and only take one car. I'm at a different hotel than they are so Honker tells the other girl to go to their hotel, he'll pick me up at my hotel and then we'll meet her there. Then he turns to me and asks, What is your room number? WHAT? Why would he need my room number? Just go to my hotel and I'll meet you in the parking lot. I literally freaked out! Luckily, you needed a key to get into the building where the rooms were so I was safe, for now. I ran up to my room, changed socks, combed my hair, and went back downstairs to meet him.

Again, I thought that we were going to just run by there and pick up the other girl. I was so very wrong. We pull up to the hotel and he parks. I kind of follow along and then we get in the elevator and start going up to the second floor. Now I'm getting concerned. We walk down the hall and he unlocks his room and holds the door open for me to go inside. I delay a little and say something like, I don't want to invade your private space. He didn't seem concerned so I walked in and sat at the chair at the desk and began furiously texting Diddy. He follows me into the room, sits down on the bed and makes a phone call. He starts talking to the person on the other end of the phone about tile and plumbing. He hangs up the phone, looks at me and says, That was my contractor. So I ask if he's remodeling and he tells me that he bought an apartment complex and he will show me pictures if I want. (Is he trying to impress me?) He then realizes that he forgot his computer in his car and runs down to get it so he can send an email.

Dinner was uneventful, and we decided to go back to the sale after to see what was going on. The other girl said she didn't feel well and she wanted to go back to the hotel, so it was just me and Honker again. I had already decided that I wasn't going to drink that night because I was in a strange place and I like to have my bearings about me. So we go to the sale and walk around. Honker starts drinking and keeps asking me if I want a drink. I continue to say no, sure now that he is trying to get me drunk and take advantage of me...

At the sale, I run into Antique again. He isn't drinking either and we spend some time people watching and talking about Reno. After a while, Honker and I decide we've had enough of the horses and we're going to go to the bar. There are two college kids who are interested in joining us, and I obviously get nominated to drive everyone in Honker's car.

The bar was somewhat uneventful compared to the ride home. When the bar closed, me and the college kids went out one door, but Honker had to get his jacket so he said he'd meet us at the car. We're sitting in the car and the college kids have this conversation (just keep in mind, they are wasted and I am sober):

College Boy: Do you guys mind driving me back to the fairgrounds?
Me: Not at all.
College Girl: Thanks, I'll need to get my car there to go to the hotel.
CB: Are you sure you're ok to drive?
CG: Yes.
(we have a long discussion about me taking her to her hotel and him picking her up in the morning to go back to the sale.)
CB: Wow, I had way too much to drink.
CG: (laughing flirtily) You did drink a lot.
CB: I'm going to feel like a jackass if I wake up my sister and her kids when I go into the motor home.
CG: (clearly the stupidest girl EVER - doesn't pick up on his hint that he wants to go to her hotel) You don't act drunk - they probably won't know.
CB: Ok.
(around this time Honker gets to the car with two other VERY drunk guys who are staying at his hotel.)
CB: I'm going to feel like a jackass if I wake up my sister and her kids when I go into the motor home.
Honker: I have an extra bed - you can stay with me.
CB: Really? That would be great.
Honker: Yeah, that's fine.
CB: Thanks.
CG: (Just now catching on to how stupid she was before) If you could just take me to my hotel that would be great.

So we take her to her hotel, which is actually closer to where I'm staying than where all of the boys are going to stay. Then we go to the boys' hotel and make a plan for the morning pick-up and I head home for some sleep.

Yesterday, things went alright, I picked them up from the hotel in the morning and went to the sale.

At some point during the day, E85 came back and we joked around about how he couldn't stay away from me then he decided that he would go to Reno for my organization's annual convention in February.

The good news for you, my dedicated fans, is that Honker, E85, and Antique will all be in the same place again. The bad news for me is that my life is out of control!


  1. WOW!!!! AP all of these boys running around. this is getting scary you should be careful with them, and remember why buy the cow when the milk is free, is that what they say or is it do not buy the car without a test drive..... i would probally stick to the earlier one but that is up to you. also glad to see you more active sorry i have not.

  2. dude airplane... there are no words.

    Well, maybe there are words, but they are summed up in the couple cliches offered by Fish.

    Can we please talk about these ridiculous shenanigans that seem to come about around you... it keeps me so entertained!

  3. My fear of these people finding this site would overwhelm me. Seriously.

  4. Cheyenne,

    Some of them do read the blog. But the fact of the matter is, I only speak the truth. If they are embarrassed by their actions they should change them.