Many of you know that I am obsessed with my nephew, BiggieSmalls*! He is hilarious! Seriously, the kid came out with my sense of humor! (As a sidenote: I also love TinySmalls*, he just can't talk yet, so he isn't as funny.)
So Biggie comes up with the most hilarious things you've ever heard. He doesn't miss a thing.
Let me also mention that Sissy has a beehive at her house. And not like, oh there's a beehive in the tree. Up on the mountain in a crack in a rock, there is a GIANT colony of bees making their home. On Biggie's first birthday, a friend of mine came up with his bee suit and tried to kill them, but there was no way to get them all. (I have pictures of this, but they are on another computer.) For some reason, these bees are non-aggressive and very attracted to water. They will literally drown themselves in a bowl of water. It is crazy.
Sissy just got a new dog so there is a bowl of water on the porch by the door, which means there are hundreds of bees also on the porch by the door.
So the other night, Match.mom and I were up at the house to spend the night before we headed to Tucson. Sissy was out of town and Match.mom and I were outside pushing Biggie on the swing. As we're swinging, he says, "Those futting bees." We ignore him and he says it again. Again we ignore him and he says it a third time. I tell him that we do not use that language and he should not say it again. We're good for the night.
The next morning, the two of us were outside giving the dog a treat and I needed to run inside to get Match.mom. So I say, "Biggie, I'll be right back. I just need to run inside for a minute." And he says, "Wait, I'm coming with you. There's a lot of futting bees out here!"
Great.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
We Partied Like 1999!
Last night was my 10-year high school reunion. And it turned out to be a blast, but it's a long story that got us there.
About a year ago I was contacted by a former classmate and friend. We were Senior Class officers together so she felt obligated to contact me to help plan, even though she wasn't speaking to me. I, thinking it would be fun to torture her, agreed. This was mistake number one.
We began by trying to find people's contact info, this was not easy, but it was fun. It made me kind of excited for the reunion. Then we started the actual planning, and as it drew closer, I got less and less excited. Although, former friend started actually liking me again. But the drama that was associated with the planning and executing was ridiculous! Honestly, people will complain about everything!
I considered not going, but Match.mom told me that was not an option. So yesterday, I got all dolled up and headed to the party. I had decided prior to leaving my house that I would not be drinking, about 35 seconds into the whole thing, I regretted this decision!
Peach Sherbert* and I walked into the hotel lobby and immediately ran into a group of classmates at the bar. We stopped to talk to them and the fun began. We were both practically molested by one classmate who I'm pretty sure was strung out. Then he began asking Peach how prison was. (Sidenote: Peach has never been to prison.) He went outside to smoke and we hung out with the rest of the group a little longer before heading to our ballroom.
It only got worse as more people showed up. Everyone mingled for about 30 minutes and then found seats for dinner. And just like high school, all of the cliques remained. Peach and I branched out and sat at a table with some folks we didn't necessarily spend much time with in high school and this turned out to be a good decision.
After dinner things started to mellow out and we started to have a lot of fun. There was dancing and laughing and picture taking and we ended up staying to the end.
A few things of note:
1. My boobs were apparently the hit of the party (and I didn't even have to pay for them!) One guy walked up to me - with his wife - and asked if he could see my boobs. Then the wife of one of my classmates showed up in a similar dress and when she pointed it out, her husband told her that she would need bigger boobs before she could be my twin.
2. I had the most awkward conversation of my life with one of my LDS classmates. He asked me if I was married and when I told him I wasn't, he asked me if I had kids. What?
About a year ago I was contacted by a former classmate and friend. We were Senior Class officers together so she felt obligated to contact me to help plan, even though she wasn't speaking to me. I, thinking it would be fun to torture her, agreed. This was mistake number one.
We began by trying to find people's contact info, this was not easy, but it was fun. It made me kind of excited for the reunion. Then we started the actual planning, and as it drew closer, I got less and less excited. Although, former friend started actually liking me again. But the drama that was associated with the planning and executing was ridiculous! Honestly, people will complain about everything!
I considered not going, but Match.mom told me that was not an option. So yesterday, I got all dolled up and headed to the party. I had decided prior to leaving my house that I would not be drinking, about 35 seconds into the whole thing, I regretted this decision!
Peach Sherbert* and I walked into the hotel lobby and immediately ran into a group of classmates at the bar. We stopped to talk to them and the fun began. We were both practically molested by one classmate who I'm pretty sure was strung out. Then he began asking Peach how prison was. (Sidenote: Peach has never been to prison.) He went outside to smoke and we hung out with the rest of the group a little longer before heading to our ballroom.
It only got worse as more people showed up. Everyone mingled for about 30 minutes and then found seats for dinner. And just like high school, all of the cliques remained. Peach and I branched out and sat at a table with some folks we didn't necessarily spend much time with in high school and this turned out to be a good decision.
After dinner things started to mellow out and we started to have a lot of fun. There was dancing and laughing and picture taking and we ended up staying to the end.
A few things of note:
1. My boobs were apparently the hit of the party (and I didn't even have to pay for them!) One guy walked up to me - with his wife - and asked if he could see my boobs. Then the wife of one of my classmates showed up in a similar dress and when she pointed it out, her husband told her that she would need bigger boobs before she could be my twin.
2. I had the most awkward conversation of my life with one of my LDS classmates. He asked me if I was married and when I told him I wasn't, he asked me if I had kids. What?
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
A Little Attention
As many of you know, when I was in college I worked for a radio station. For a while I thought that I would like to make a career out of radio promotions. This job broke me of that. However, it was a great job for a college student. I got into a lot of concerts and events free; and I had an unbeatable time at Country Thunder my senior year. For the love, I met JoDee Messina. That was one of the happiest moments of my life.
Well, one of my assignments for this job was to drive the station vehicle in the Christmas Light Parade. Not having been in a parade before (well, since high school Homecoming, which I don't think counts), I had no idea what this entailed. Bridezilla rode shotgun with me through the parade and we had a blast! Talk about a self-esteem boost. You're driving down the road with your windows down and everyone is looking at you and cheering. We actually thought about travelling around and being in parades - it was so great.
Well, today, I matched that feeling. I am visiting Dirty Shirley this week for some work events and today we took a drive to the beach in her 1973 Convertible Mustang. This thing is hott! (Yes, Banana, it is two t hott!) You have never had so many people check you out. The funny thing is that guys try to act all cool like they aren't checking out your car. They do a little look out of the corner of their eye. And then they see that there are two girls in the car and it's like a full-on stare. I actually think that one man took our picture.
I decided that if you had a Y chromosome and didn't at least take a second look at the car there was something wrong.
Then, we stopped at the post office on the way home and a young boy in a stroller, no more than 3 years old almost broke his neck checking us out.
Maybe we'll start going for younger men...
Well, one of my assignments for this job was to drive the station vehicle in the Christmas Light Parade. Not having been in a parade before (well, since high school Homecoming, which I don't think counts), I had no idea what this entailed. Bridezilla rode shotgun with me through the parade and we had a blast! Talk about a self-esteem boost. You're driving down the road with your windows down and everyone is looking at you and cheering. We actually thought about travelling around and being in parades - it was so great.
Well, today, I matched that feeling. I am visiting Dirty Shirley this week for some work events and today we took a drive to the beach in her 1973 Convertible Mustang. This thing is hott! (Yes, Banana, it is two t hott!) You have never had so many people check you out. The funny thing is that guys try to act all cool like they aren't checking out your car. They do a little look out of the corner of their eye. And then they see that there are two girls in the car and it's like a full-on stare. I actually think that one man took our picture.
I decided that if you had a Y chromosome and didn't at least take a second look at the car there was something wrong.
Then, we stopped at the post office on the way home and a young boy in a stroller, no more than 3 years old almost broke his neck checking us out.
Maybe we'll start going for younger men...
Monday, July 20, 2009
A Promise
Well, yesterday I committed to blogging every day and of course, today, I have no stories to tell.
So I will reccommend a funny website - www.awkwardfamilyphotos.com. Go. Now. You will laugh until you cry!
So I will reccommend a funny website - www.awkwardfamilyphotos.com. Go. Now. You will laugh until you cry!
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Attention, This is Building Management
First of all, I need to let you all know that my new goal is to blog every day. Please try to hold me to that or at least help make funny things happen so that I have material.
For the past week, Diddy and I have been in Denver for a conference for work. As is typical, this conference is a lot of meetings during the day and drinking and debauchery at night. Friday night was no different - probably even more drinking and debauchery than normal.
So Diddy and I arrive back at our room around 2:15 am. He has had a lot to drink (on the way home from the bar he told a friend of our that he though he got roofied. And then he said, "They should probably call it flooried because I'm about to hit the floor."). I'm not so drunk. I have to be up to sign in folks at the board meeting in the morning, so I set my alarm for 6:15 am and we go to sleep.
The next thing I know, I hear a noise and look at the clock - it is 4:30 am. I know it's not my alarm and then I listen. "Attention, this is Building Management. An alarm has been activitated. The fire department has been notified and is en route to investigate. For your safety, the elevators will not work during this time. Attention, this is Building Management..." You get the picture. Over and over and over. And each time it gets louder and louder. So I get out of bed and look out the peep hole to see if others are evacuating. Keep in mind that I have no idea how long this has been going off. They could all be at the street by now, but they are definitely not in the halls. So I wake Diddy up and we proceed to run around our room like idiots. We look out the window to see if there is a fire. Seeing none, we start texting other people staying there. No one replies. So finally, after five minutes or so, Diddy calls the front desk. Amazingly, the woman answers it; and he asks if we should evacuate. She says that it is a false alarm. He says, "Veronica, you're the best thing since sliced bread. Since it is a false alarm do you think you could turn the f-in thing off?" Apparently she tells him no because he hangs up, we go back to bed and for ten more minutes building management talks to us. Then finally the message changes to, "The fire department has investigated and every thing is secure." Yay! We can go back to sleep.
But no. They decided they wanted to be Sir-Mix-A-Lot with the announcement machine and they start playing them in parts for the next five minutes. I could have killed someone.
Turns out the alarm was only on the seventh and eigth floors so the people that we texted did not hear it. It also turns out that Diddy and I would not be very good firemen.
For the past week, Diddy and I have been in Denver for a conference for work. As is typical, this conference is a lot of meetings during the day and drinking and debauchery at night. Friday night was no different - probably even more drinking and debauchery than normal.
So Diddy and I arrive back at our room around 2:15 am. He has had a lot to drink (on the way home from the bar he told a friend of our that he though he got roofied. And then he said, "They should probably call it flooried because I'm about to hit the floor."). I'm not so drunk. I have to be up to sign in folks at the board meeting in the morning, so I set my alarm for 6:15 am and we go to sleep.
The next thing I know, I hear a noise and look at the clock - it is 4:30 am. I know it's not my alarm and then I listen. "Attention, this is Building Management. An alarm has been activitated. The fire department has been notified and is en route to investigate. For your safety, the elevators will not work during this time. Attention, this is Building Management..." You get the picture. Over and over and over. And each time it gets louder and louder. So I get out of bed and look out the peep hole to see if others are evacuating. Keep in mind that I have no idea how long this has been going off. They could all be at the street by now, but they are definitely not in the halls. So I wake Diddy up and we proceed to run around our room like idiots. We look out the window to see if there is a fire. Seeing none, we start texting other people staying there. No one replies. So finally, after five minutes or so, Diddy calls the front desk. Amazingly, the woman answers it; and he asks if we should evacuate. She says that it is a false alarm. He says, "Veronica, you're the best thing since sliced bread. Since it is a false alarm do you think you could turn the f-in thing off?" Apparently she tells him no because he hangs up, we go back to bed and for ten more minutes building management talks to us. Then finally the message changes to, "The fire department has investigated and every thing is secure." Yay! We can go back to sleep.
But no. They decided they wanted to be Sir-Mix-A-Lot with the announcement machine and they start playing them in parts for the next five minutes. I could have killed someone.
Turns out the alarm was only on the seventh and eigth floors so the people that we texted did not hear it. It also turns out that Diddy and I would not be very good firemen.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Step Up 3: The Gym
For the past week, I have been taking some of the group fitness classes at the gym. I tend to get tired of just doing an hour of cardio on a machine so I figured that the classes would break up the monotony.
On Tuesday night, I attended the Latin Fusion class. Apparently the teacher was a sub and she didn't like the music that the normal teacher gave her, so she made up her own class. We basically just did some hip hop dance moves to music for an hour. It was a great workout! Before the class started one of the other girls in attendance started talking to me and after class she asked me if I wanted to attend the Hip Hop class taught by the same teacher on Thursday.
So, Thursday night rolls around and I put on my normal workout clothes and head to the gym. I'm standing in the classroom waiting for my new friend to arrive when others start coming in for the class. They are all wearing hip hop clothes - scrunchy pants, sweat pants with one leg pulled up, wife beaters, etc. I felt like I was on the scene of a movie. And then the class started. And it was literally a hip hop class. We learned a dance. To a song I've never heard. It was not aerobics.
On Tuesday night, I attended the Latin Fusion class. Apparently the teacher was a sub and she didn't like the music that the normal teacher gave her, so she made up her own class. We basically just did some hip hop dance moves to music for an hour. It was a great workout! Before the class started one of the other girls in attendance started talking to me and after class she asked me if I wanted to attend the Hip Hop class taught by the same teacher on Thursday.
So, Thursday night rolls around and I put on my normal workout clothes and head to the gym. I'm standing in the classroom waiting for my new friend to arrive when others start coming in for the class. They are all wearing hip hop clothes - scrunchy pants, sweat pants with one leg pulled up, wife beaters, etc. I felt like I was on the scene of a movie. And then the class started. And it was literally a hip hop class. We learned a dance. To a song I've never heard. It was not aerobics.
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