Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Aviation Adventures

The turbulence was so bad that everyone was screaming! I thought we were going to fall right out of the sky and into the ocean!!! The entire plane was filling their barf bags up! Luggage was falling out of the overhead bins - one lady was knocked out, but still throwing up. And then...Sasquatch came out of the bathroom!!

Ok, maybe that is a small exaggeration, but Diddy's and my airport/flight adventure to SLO on Saturday, was definitely an....well, adventure! took us to the airport and since we were only carrying our luggage on, we went straight to security and through to the gate. Both in need of caffeine, we made a stop at Starbucks first. We got to our gate and sat down just in time to hear them announce a gate change.

With plenty of time to make it to the new gate, we moseyed on over and took our seats in this blocked off area. Diddy remarked that he didn't like it - he felt like he was in a cage.

As we drank our coffee and people-watched we caught part of the conversation happening at the counter. The attendant was explaining to some lady that they had downgraded the plane and there were now only 14 rows. Having booked our seats in row 19, we decided that I needed to go see what was going on.

I headed up to the counter and stood in line for a while. Then the announcement was made that they had officially put us on a smaller plane due to rain in San Luis and they needed 13 people to volunteer to give up their seats.

Things were about to go downhill!

Apparently the same thing had happened the night before and there were a number of passengers who were supposed to be on that flight, that were then booked on our flight. And they were now getting bumped. Chaos ensued!

Announcer then comes on and says, "the following people do not have seats on this flight. Swenson, Swanson, Samsonite...(ok, maybe those weren't the names, but am I supposed to remember them all?) If I didn't call your name, you can stop panicking, you are safe."

Of course, everyone in the gate area is on edge - except Diddy and I. We are cracking jokes and laughing out loud and having a generally good time. People really didn't like us.

After a while, they announce that the people who need new seat assignments should come to the desk to get their boarding passes. That included us, so I went up to get them.

I got up there just as he was announcing Diddy's last name and I said, "That's us."

Counter Agent: You probably aren't sitting together, but at least you have seats.
Me: (trying to lighten the mood) That's ok, I don't like him that much anyway.
Counter Agent: (apparently not amused with me) Ok

Once on the plane we tried to get the lady sitting next to Diddy to switch seats with me, but she was rude and wouldn't do it.

Luckily, the woman who was supposed to sit next to me was willing to trade and Diddy came back to sit with me.

Right next to the bathroom.

Upon take-off, the bathroom door flew open. And Diddy and I began laughing.

It is safe to say that we didn't stop until we landed.

And really, not even then.

Once we leveled out, Diddy shut the bathroom door.

About 20 minutes into the flight, a girl came back to use the facilities and she couldn't get the door to shut and lock properly. Not wanting it to open while she was taking care of business I forced Diddy to put his hand on the door as an insurance policy.

Then another guy came back to use the bathroom.

Let me back up for a minute.

Before we took off, I told Diddy that when anyone came back to use the restroom he should ask them, "Number 1 or Number 2?" and if the answer was Number 2 he should direct them back to their seat to hold it for the less than two hour flight.

Back to real-time.

Diddy should have asked the guy, because his intentions in the bathroom were not good.

After being in there for about 10 minutes, we started to get concerned.

A good 10 minutes later, he opened the door and it was bad.

Then the door shut and we were ok again.

About this time, Diddy's bloody mary arrived and so did the turbulence. He almost lost the BM, but his cat-like reflexes kicked in and he saved the vodka just in time.

For the remainder of the flight we made inappropriate comments, Diddy said the F word, and the couple sitting in front of us gave us dirty looks.

It was brilliant!

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