Thursday, September 6, 2007

I Am Pleased to Announce the Marriage of Me to...Myself...

The last three years of my life have been pretty full of weddings. I have been the Maid of Honor in three and a bridesmaid in another (don't worry, I'm already committed to another in 2008). In addition to that, I have been invited to a number of others. Seriously, it has been a little out of control. Friends actually joke about it (I got an email from Seaman* today that said, "any weddings for you this week or are you taking some time off?"). I may actually be the poster child for "Always the bridesmaid, never the bride."

So I finally got done with weddings for 2007 (or at least I'm crossing my fingers that I'm done), and I have entered Baby Season.

I obviously knew that a lot of my friends were pregnant, but I guess I didn't realize that they were all going to have the babies at the same time. I was on the phone with Big T* today discussing my insurance coverage (in addition to being my pseudo big brother, he is my insurance agent), and I said something about Mrs. T* being due to have their first child soon. He alerted me that it would actually be this Saturday. Yes, he is taking Mrs. T into the hospital late tomorrow night to get prepped and they are going to induce her labor. They will most likely have Baby Boy T* sometime on Saturday. Literally, while I was on the phone with T, I got a text message from another friend that she will be induced on Sept. 11, her 27th birthday. WHAT??? How could two of my friends be discussing labor induction at the same time??? I know what you are thinking, "two babies, that's not so crazy." Well, don't think that is the end of this baby discussion - oh no. I am scheduled to attend a baby shower on Saturday for The Great White Hope* (one of my MOH stints), and sometime in the next 3 weeks, my friend Cattle Judge* will be delivering her baby girl. Do you know how many presents that adds up to???

Which led me to the conclusion that someone should be celebrating me! Seriously, why don't I get gifts for being an independent woman? For not rushing into a union that statistics show is doomed to failure? For not overpopulating the world? Someone needs to throw me a party for paying my taxes (with no breaks, because apparently the government hates single women) and buying numerous gifts for friends' babies and weddings. So like Carrie Bradshaw in SATC I think that I will announce my marriage to myself and register for a bunch of gifts that I want!

For those of you out there who have been on the receiving end of my generosity, please Save The Date - we will soon gather at a joyous occasion to celebrate a love based on giving and receiving. My invitation will be out soon and just thank your lucky stars that I don't wear Manolo Blahnik shoes...

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