Sunday, September 16, 2007

Mamma Mia - And All That Implies...

I need to start this post with an apology for my obvious lack of posts as of late. I started the new job and have been on the road all week without time to sit down and put something down on (virtual) paper. So, I'm sorry and I hope that you enjoy what follows...

As I mentioned above, I've been on the road this week for work. I am in Denver this week for training. Nothing too exciting happened in the airport and for most of the week things were pretty calm. I am being trained with another employee, Old Man. (Nice enough guy, as old as my parents.) We ate every meal together and by Wednesday morning, we had nothing to talk about (very awkward).

We did have an interesting dinner on Thursday night. We went to Olive Garden, which shouldn't have been too eventful. We were seated in a back room with the most ridiculous diners I've ever been around. At the table immediately next to us were Star Trek Girl (STG) and her friend Naivete. When we arrived these girls each had two bowls of pasta in front of them and there was a pitcher of sangria that was almost empty. They had ridiculous, loud, drunken conversations for the majority of our meal. However, the most ridiculous conversation that they had was about gay clubs.

STG: I can't believe you've never been to a gay club. We need to go to one.

Naivete: Yeah, that would be so much fun. When can we go?

STG: Ooh, I know, we'll go to (insert name of club here) on a Thursday. That is drag-queen, ABBA night.

Naivete: Oh yeah, that sounds like a lot of fun.

STG (to the ridiculous waiter): Can you believe she's never been to a gay club?

Waiter: Really? I haven't either.

STG: Yeah, but it's weird for her.

Why is it weird for her you ask? Perhaps because she is a lesbian? No. Apparently it's weird because she's a ballroom dancer.

This would have been enough to make a dinner complete, but because it is my life, there is more. The other table in our little room held a family with five children (the oldest was probably 14 and the youngest was close to 4). This was WT Dad meets East Valley Soccer Mom - it was the weirdest couple I've ever seen. WT Dad was wearing a San Diego Chargers Jersey and swim trunks that did not even come close to matching. They were clearly on their second marriage and four of the children were hers, but the youngest boy was his. This child was the most misbehaved child I have ever seen. He screamed for part of the dinner and his dad yelled at him for the other half. He wouldn't sit still, he was crawling on the floor, and more than once his father took him out to the car. I don't know what happened in the car, but clearly it didn't work. I wanted to beat the child on my own. It was probably one of the worst dining experiences that I've ever had.

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