An Emergency

This is one of my favorite stories ever! I don't know if it will be as funny to the people who weren't there, but I know it is hilarious for at least two of the people who were.

Before I start I must offer a disclaimer - I know that there were bad decisions made during the original filming of this episode, and I don't encourage anyone to follow in my footsteps.

Way back in the day, there was a bar called Mr. Lucky's. On the weekends people who were underage could enter the bar after hours when they weren't serving alcohol. So BFL and I would  stay the night at Freckles' house so we could stay out until the wee hours of the morning without having to ask Match (or let her know). 

I must have been a senior in high school when this went down because Freckles was home visiting from college. And I'm not going to lie, there were times that we used fake IDs to get in to the bar during regular hours and I'm not 100% certain that we didn't do that in this story.

What I do remember is this:

I was driving that night, and we were in my old truck. At some point we were in the bar and we noticed a group of three of four guys who intrigued us. Before we got a chance to chat with them in the bar, the lights came on and it was time to go. As fate would have it, they were parked just a couple of spaces down from us and I decided that we weren't going to miss an opportunity twice, so I called out to one of the guys. He came over, we had a chat, blah, blah, blah. 

After a couple of minutes, it was decided that we would all go to another location to continue the partying. So the girls and I started down the road in my truck, and they were enjoying the remaining vodka and SunnyD that hadn't been consumed before we went into the bar. So I'm driving and Freckles is taking a drink and we have to come to a sudden stop. Some of the drink goes up her nose and she freaks out!

She starts telling us that we need to take her "straight to the ER." BFL and I, of course, are laughing hysterically. Freckles does not think it is funny as she continues to tell us that she got vodka up her nose and it is going straight to her brain. She has alcohol poisoning and we must go directly to the ER!

(I'm literally laughing hysterically again remembering it!)

Needless to say, we did not go to the ER. We did end up after-partying with the boys. BFL ended up ripping her pants. Freckles ended up having a meltdown about a park. And we ended up laying down to fall asleep in her living room no more than 5 minutes before her dad woke up to go to work.

Genius!

Miscellany Monday

It has been a while since I partook in the Miscellany, but I'm going to dust off the spider webs...

one

falling apart at the seams

I am a walking injury these days!

Last week I had my CrossFit assessment and we worked on hanging pull-ups and kipping and apparently I officially became a CrossFitter:

Yes, that is my right hand. And yes, that is skin hanging. Let me tell you something - it was PAINFUL! The girl who did the assessment welcomed me into the "club" and said, "I've had them so bad my husband had to wash my hair." Well, thanks a lot - I don't have a husband, that's a double whammy.

A couple of days later I was signed up to donate "Power Red" in the City's blood drive and something went wrong - I'll spare you the gory details, but let's just say that the fluids they were returning to my veins were not staying in the veins... That basically rendered my right arm useless and I'm sporting a pretty ugly yellow bruise right now.

two

holy deliciousness

Granny B's basil garden went a little crazy this year and she has more basil than she could ever use, so last week she sent me home with a box full of it. Saturday morning I spent some time making pesto to freeze. But I kept one batch out to use this week. After baking some chicken with some, there was a little left, but not enough to make another dish so I came up with a brilliant idea. I don't make my pesto runny - more of a rub type thing. So I set the oven to 400 degrees and spread the pesto out on a cookie sheet and baked it for about eight minutes until the edges were crispy and brown. And  oh.my.word. it is DELISH!

Seriously I'm having a hard time typing this and not eating all of it before Dirty gets home and can taste it.

three

unbridled excitement

Way back in January I posted about my love for Cody Canada. And I'm super excited to announce that on Friday night I will head to Flagstaff with the Littles to see him live in concert with his new band. I'm so.freaking.excited!

Spent $48...

Ok, I could have sworn that I told you all this story before, but it looks like I did not.

I thought of it today because we were all at coffee to visit with Freckles while she was in town when her mom announced to everyone that she was now the food critic for our local small town paper. Then Match said, "Maybe you'll get picked up by AP." I responded that I once was picked up by AP, but not the associated press...

I was a freshman in high school. BFL was dating the man who is now her husband, and Freckles, Quintomom, and I were single. It was fall in Arizona and the State Fair was in town. As part of the State Fair there are always pretty good concerts and we all decided that we would partake in a show. (I honestly can not remember who it was - I was clearly traumatized.)

So the four of us girls piled into LetishaTapangaZappa* and headed in to the fair to meet BFL's boyfriend and a couple of his friends. We probably spent upwards of two hours getting ready and at least thirty minutes driving towards the fairgrounds before one of the girls decided that maybe they should alert me to some shenanigans that were going to happen.

It turns out that one of the boys had a crush on me. His name was AP. He was a tall, goofy, redneck with a misshaped head. I'm telling you this guy was HICK! Well, at some point in the week leading up to the concert there was a roping contest and the deal was that if AP lost the contest he would have to ask me on a date the night that we went to the concert. And - here's the part that was REALLY important - if I were to say 'no' he was supposed to kiss me.

And my friends were not going to let me in on this information before getting into the situation. 

So, we show up at the concert and we're in the stands when AP starts talking to me. I totally have a plan to say that I would go on a date with him in order to avoid the kiss situation, no problem. Then he asks me if I'd like to go on a date with him some time. I stick to the plan. He veers WAY off course and says, "Why don't we go ahead and call this the date and you can come sit next to me."

Luckily I was thinking quickly that night and told him that I promised Freckles and Quinto that I would be on a date with them that night, so I'd have to take a rain check.

Crisis diverted.

Or not.

About halfway through the concert the boys decide that they are bored and they are going to head out into the fair to entertain themselves until we are done at the concert.

The concert ends and we find the boys, only to discover that AP has played every game on the  midway in order to win me some cheesy prizes. Including, but not limited to, a stuffed animal and some weird mirror.

From that point on the girls would sing Tim McGraw's "I Like It, I Love It" to me every chance they got. 

I never did go on that date with AP.

Real Quick...

I will (fingers crossed) be picking up my computer from the repair shop today. Hopefully that will mean more entertaining blogs for all of you.

While we wait, BiggieSmalls will entertain you some more.

On Saturday, both nephews were with my parents for the night. I was hanging out with them early in the day, and around 5ish I told Biggie that I was leaving to hang out with Diddy:

Airplane: Alright, Biggie. I'll see you tomorrow. I'm going to go hang out with Diddy.

Biggie: Why?

Airplane: I don't know. I guess he misses me and wants to spend time with me.

Biggie: (after a short pause) Is he your girlfriend?

I guess Biggie has noticed how emotional Diddy is too.

(Just kidding, Did - you know I love you.)

A Rollercoaster Ride

I decided that I have to tell you all this story because sometimes I think about it and I just start laughing out loud.

Back in 2010, we took a family trip to Disneyland. I thought that I wrote about that trip, but apparently I did not because I couldn't find a post about it.

Either way, you can imagine the madness of 10 adults and 2 children in Disneyland for two days. It was a blast!

Something that you should know about PapaBear is that he loves his grandkids A LOT and basically if they ask him to do something (within reason) he does it. So BiggieSmalls wants to go on Splash Mountain in Disneyland and PapaBear agrees.

The two of them along with me, Sissy, SuperFan, JP, BIL, and XouXou get in line and make our way to the loading dock. Once there Biggie decides that he wants to ride with PapaBear in the "boat."

What this means is that PapaBear, the largest member of our party is in the front of the "boat."

There is a reason that they don't recommend this.

As we get started, Sissy and I are laughing hysterically. Just because.

Then we get to the first drop-off of the ride, which isn't a really big one, but when we get to the pool at the bottom, the weight of PapaBear in the front creates a tsunami of sorts into our "boat."

PapaBear immediately jumps up and starts yelling things that are not suitable for a family establishment. Then he tries to get Sissy and me to trade spots with him. Like we're not in the middle of a ride and about to go down another major drop.

Needless to say, the same thing happened at the bottom of that drop and PapaBear was none too happy about the situation.

We just thank the TTBJ that it was our last ride of the day or there would have been one angry PapaBear walking around Disneyland!

Putting Together a Dowry

I was talking to Match on Sunday morning and I mentioned to her that CageFighter had sent me a message the previous evening.

Really, the message wasn't anything exciting just a quick catch up kind of thing.

A couple of hours later, PapaBear and I were sitting in their living room rewatching UFC 132 when he turns to me and says, "Match told me you talked to CageFighter yesterday."

I clarified that it was actually an email, but I had indeed heard from him.

PapaBear: What did he have to say?

Airplane: Not much. Mostly he was upset because he was planning to come home for his 10-year Reunion in October, but they changed it to September.

PapaBear: Well he can still come home in October and visit.

What? Since when is PapaBear concerned about CageFighter's schedule.

The next day I mentioned it to Match, and half-joking I said, "I think PapaBear wants me to marry CageFighter."

She responded, "I think he just likes the idea of having a cage fighter in the family."

She did.not.deny.it.

Now I'm concerned that PapaBear is putting together a dowry and sending me to Thailand.

Declaring War

Alright, I'm back. And I'm going to try really hard to post more regularly. I promise! 

As I believe we've discussed before Independence Day is my FAVORITE holiday!

I LOVE America!

However, I never thought that I would have to declare a war of my own on Independence Day weekend.

Yesterday morning I woke up in a great mood! Birds were chirping, the sun was shining...

Then I went out to my garden to give it the morning dose of moisture.

As I was watering, I noticed that some of the tomato plants were missing leaves towards the tops of some branches. Seemed strange.

Then, I saw this:

Oh yeah, that's a worm. A tomato hornworm to be exact.

I'm not going to lie to you - I freaked out! 

I called Match on the phone and she told me I had to kill the worm or it would kill my tomato plants.

Now I'm no baby, but I'm not touching a worm! 

So I ran in the house, grabbed a pair of scissors and then proceeded to cut the branch off below the worm. Then, I realized that there were more worms. Five to be exact.

I was shaking. I was having flashbacks to my childhood when the wooly-worms invaded our back porch and you couldn't take a step without crushing at least two of them.

Then the air conditioner kicked on and I nearly wet my pants.

I was in bad shape.

The good news is that I have won the battle so far and my tomato plants look to be ok. The bad news is every time I go out to the garden I have to inspect for worms.

I think I've gotten in over my head!