Patience Young Grasshopper

For the whole of my life, Match has told me, "Patience is a virtue."

And for the whole of my life, I have accepted that it is a virtue that I, on most occasions, do not have.

As you have read intermittently throughout this blog and others that I have tried to write, I struggle with my weight. And I have for my entire life.

We are coming up on my two year anniversary at CrossFit Fury and I have been reflecting on my time there and how I have changed, both physically and mentally.

I am waiting for the gym manager to send me a picture that was taken of me at the beginning of my first Paleo challenge, and then I'm contemplating taking comparison photos of me on (or near) my anniversary date of starting at the gym. So maybe look for that in the near future.

But that's not what I'm here to talk about today.

Today I want to talk about nutrition. 

As you probably know by now, I have a gluten sensitivity. And sensitive I am when I eat that business. Just ask my family. 

What you may not know, is that I also have a condition known as Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). I was diagnosed in college, and have been learning about it ever since. 

One of the side-effects of PCOS is insulin resistance, which just means that my body doesn't process insulin the same way as other people do. (Actually I'm sure there is a much more scientific definition, but that's what you get from me.)

I'll tell you some other things I've learned about myself:

Any type of non-vegetable carbohydrate messes with my system! I'm telling you, half of a sweet potato and I can feel the inflamation start. Quinoa? Tastes delicious and is good for most people. For me, it's crap.

Fruit makes me gain weight. It sounds so silly, and perhaps it doesn't actually make me gain weight, but it prevents me from losing it. My body doesn't like sugars, natural or otherwise.

This is me. This not you. This is not my sister. This is not my mom.

I have experimented with lots of different ways to eat. Trust me - every trainer I've ever had gets so frustrated because they see what I eat and how I train, and they think I should have less fat on my body. They have told me to eat carbs after workouts. And to limit fats. And so on and so forth.

I get equally (if not more) frustrated because I feel the same way. You can't imagine what it's like to sacrifice all of the delicious things in the world like Match's cinnamon rolls and corn chips and salsa, only to see the numbers on the scale and in your closet stay the same.

So I get angry. I sometimes cry. I do a little more research. And I try something new.

I am going to figure out how my body works and what it needs to be fueled.

Recently, I emailed my friend, Christmas, who is a nutritionist to ask her about some stuff that I had heard about and was researching. And in the email I said, "Should I go to a strict calorie counting diet? Should I wear like a bodybugg or something? Should I add an additional cardio workout three days a week? Just tell me what to do and I'll do it."

I was seriously at the point that I was ready to sleep on my head if that's what she told me would help. But she's so much smarter than me and she said, "the best nutrition plan you follow is the one that WORKS for you."

So, I will continue to experiment and see how my body responds. This means, that I probably won't eat like the rest of you. That is more than likely the case. And it may seem strange to you, the things that I turn down. But please just know, that I am learning about my body and what fuel it needs to survive and thrive.

While I would like to see the number on the scale go down. And while I would like to see my pants size decrease. I do not have a goal weight or a goal size. Rather I have a way that I want my body to look and feel. And I want to be healthy.

To those of you who tell me that you think I'm perfect the way I am, I surely do appreciate that. Your love and support are two of the most important components of this journey.

Just bear with me. The journey is the trip after all, and it's a lot more fun with your friends and family along for the ride!