Herbisms...

Last week Granny B forced my cousins and me to organize a lunch together. It was hell trying to find a day and time that worked, but once it was done, I was so glad that we did!

First of all, I hadn't seen my Texas Cousins in six years - and let me tell you - they have grown up!

Second of all, we had a blast!

They reminded me of some things and inspired this post.

I was lucky enough to grow up with all four of my grandparents alive and near me. I realize now how rare that actually is. As a child, we spent a lot of time with our grandparents, but mostly with Granny B and Popie*. Sissy, YogaHippy*, and I used to have slumber parties at their house all of the time. During these slumber parties we would play church, make up dances, swim, run around the farm, and just generally have a good time.

Some of my favorite memories were on the farm as a child.

Our Popie was great! He would drive us to the store and let us each pick out a candy, or take us to Sav-Mart to buy Snickers for the freezees that Granny B would make us after dinner. He would spend all day sitting on a chair by the pool while we swam - and let me tell you, three elementary aged girls can swim for a number of hours without breaks.

But more than anything, Popie had the greatest sayings.

When we would go to Sav-Mart to get Snickers, we would always get Poore Brother Salt & Vinegar chips too. And undoubtedly, he would say to us, "You're gonna be a fatso like Popie." It makes me laugh just to type it.

Us girls always thought that it was a lot of fun to climb up into the cotton trailers on the farm. However, in our infinite wisdom, we never thought that there was only a ladder on the outside of the trailers - the theory being that once it is full of cotton, you wouldn't need a ladder to get out. Nonetheless, we'd climb up there and get stuck. And Popie would come around and help us get out.

Allegedly, when Match.mom and Xou were younger and they would do things like that he would tell them, "If you can't get down, fall down." But that was never the case with his granddaughters.

If ever you complained about something in front of him, he would say, "If you're looking for sympathy, you'll find it in the dictionary between shit and syphilis."

And you never said that you wished for something in front of him without getting, "You can wish in one hand, and shit in the other, and see which one fills up first."

I know that there are more sayings, but I just can't think of them.

For a majority of my high school years, Popie had to have kidney dialysis. For some reason, Granny B would always call on me when she needed help. So there was many a summer day that I would either take him to dialysis or pick him up. I used to hate doing it. But looking back now, I would give anything for one more long car ride with him. To talk about nothing in particular.

When he passed away my freshman year of college, I was devastated. I still remember where I was when Match.mom called me. And that IT took me to see Girl, Interrupted to get my mind off of it. Probably not the best movie choice, but it was the thought that counted.

Sissy and I decided that we would like to write a poem to read at the funeral with YogaHippy. Below is the poem.

I still don't know how we got through it at the funeral without breaking down.

I can't do that today.

For nineteen years he watched us grow,
There wasn't anything he didn't know.
Mr. Arizona he was known to be,
To us, our Popie, more importantly.

He used to take us to the store at Hassayampa,
Just me, and me, and me, and grandpa.
We laughed all the way because he'd drive so slow,
We never thought we'd get where we wanted to go.

What about when we wanted to swim,
We couldn't do it without him.
He'd sit outside and watch us play,
All afternoon, day after day.

Up into the cotton trailers we would climb,
Even though we got stuck every time.
We were far from brave, but we never feared,
We knew it wouldn't be long until his pick-up truck appeared.

Even though we must have been pains,
We never heard our Popie complain.
He picked us up and chauffeured us around,
He wasn't the type to let anyone down.

Now he's with God in Heaven above,
We send him our prayers, we send him our love.
There's one more thing we want him to know,
Popie - We miss you so.

A Christmas Letter...

A couple of weeks ago I was talking to EID and we were discussing Christmas cards and letters. Neither of us had pulled ourselves together enough to get cards out the door in time for the holiday. She asked me if I was going to send out a Christmas letter. I laughed.

What was I going to write? I started the year with one job. The economy sucks. I got a new job. The end.

And besides that - who cares what I have to say about the year that just passed?

Then I had lunch with my cousins this week and I started thinking about life and decided that I would write a letter.

You may still not care what I have to say, and that's fine. I'm writing it anyway.

Dear Family and Friends:

What a year!

I began the year in subzero temperatures in Nowhere, Nevada, working for the cattlemen. My travels for work took me all over the southwest. I made a lot of new friends (and probably a few enemies), but it was all worth it. I enjoyed every minute!

In March, due to a scheduling miracle, I was able to be at the hospital when nephew #2, TinySmalls, was born! I truly love being an aunt! It is very special and the love that I have for those two little boys overwhelms me sometimes.

In April, Bunner and Banana got married. It was a blast! Diddy and I danced up a storm!

In the beginning of June, I spent a week in North Dakota for work. I traveled all over the state and enjoyed it immensely. However, on the last day of my visit, when it started snowing, I was reminded of why I live in the desert! Give me sunshine and heat every day of the week!

Over Labor Day, I traveled to Squaw Valley with Dirty Shirley on a Girls' Weekend. It was an amazingly good time!

I continue to feel the tug of adulthood pulling from every direction.

I started a new job in October. The political bug started to rear it's ugly head and I couldn't stay away any longer. It has been a great move for me and I'm really enjoying what I'm doing!

I attended the funeral for a friend's mom in September and then walked in her memory in the Breast Cancer 3-Day in November.

A few friendships ended this year, which makes me sad. However, I have also made a number of new friends that I believe will continue long into the future.

As I look at my family, and the wonderful love that we share, I am reminded of how lucky I am.

I have had many blessings in life and I count each one of you among those.

I look forward to the many adventures that we will share in the years to come!

Much Love,
Airplane

Rain, Rain, Go Away!

I actually have nothing against the rain, except that I am not dressed appropriately for it.

You see, IT flew in yesterday for Christmas and we had a slumber party at her parents' house last night.

So yesterday morning as I was getting ready for work I was also packing for the slumber party and today.

I don't typically look at the weather ahead of time. I usually gauge the day's weather on my morning run or by looking out the window of my house. This is how I decide on what I'm going to wear.

But yesterday I had to choose what I was going to wear today and I was running late so I just had to grab something quick. (This is the problem with slumber parties on school nights...I totally get why Match.mom was against these.)

So, here I sit, in my office, looking very cute in my polka-dotted dress, with goosebumps all over my body.

The Details

As I mentioned previously, I inadvertently left out some details from the Vegas trip. This really was not intentional, it is difficult to remember everything when posting a blog, but I try.

So, here's the rest of the story...

When we were planning the Vegas trip, Dirty and I decided that I would bring the liquor (since I was driving) and she would bring the flask (since I don't have one.) So when I was packing the ice chest, I also threw in some tiny water bottles so we could hydrate in between drunken nights.

Friday night rolls around and we are getting ready to go out when Dirty informs me that she forgot to pack the flask. Never fear, I'm very resourceful! We'll just drink the water out of two of these little bottles and fill them up with whiskey and vodka. Brilliant! We hide the bottles in some bags in our purses and off we go.

Now that I think of it, this little bottle of whiskey could be responsible for the incident in the revolving door and on the Monorail bench. When we got in the cab to head to South Point for the rodeo, Dirty was drinking whiskey straight out of the bottle. I don't think that's ever a good idea.

On Saturday, while we were at the Sands waiting for O'Connor to arrive, we decided that we needed to sit down for a minute and regroup. So armed with BM's we found a bench that was the perfect size for the three of us and proceeded to people-watch for a very long time. It was hilarious! I think that people-watching is one of my favorite pastimes. Do you think I can start listing that as a hobby?

Either way, we saw some pretty funny things.

First of all, there was a group standing not too far from us and one of their friends walked up and said, very loudly, "I'm about liquor drunk." After a long discussion about what other kind of drunk he could be, Diddy and I decided that he wasn't very smart and left it at that.

Around that time, a girl walked by with Pocahontas boots on and Diddy started making Indian noises only to turn and find that two large Native American women were walking behind her. They were not impressed with his antics.

In a random coincidence, CageFighter was also in Vegas that weekend. However, he was there to participate in a grappling tournament. On Saturday, after securing the bronze (I know, who gets third?) in the advanced category, he started drinking. Which led to texting me incessantly. It's not really important what the text messages said, just suffice it to say, he still loves me.

On the ride home, in an effort to entertain us, O'Connor started a fun game of 20 questions. These weren't normal questions - they were crazy off the wall questions! For example: Would you rather let someone pick any tattoo they want for you to put on whatever part of your body they chose or be the worst kisser in the world?

I think you get the picture. It wasn't a normal drive.

Boys, Boys, Boys

Ok, one more and then I'll get back to Vegas.

I promise!

I was talking to JP the other day. We were discussing our love lives.

JP was telling me that she isn't currently dating anyone because she hangs out with the same people every weekend. And something about these people being a group of guys and no guy is going to hit on a girl who is surrounded by guys.

It sounded so familiar.

Then I thought about this story:

When I was a sophomore in college I joined a sorority (I know - you're shocked!) And for Spring Fling, our sorority was scheduled to sell ice cream bars with one of the fraternities on campus. This happened to be an ag fraternity and we happened to spend a lot of time with them. That's actually not really important to the story. Oh well.

So, as you can probably imagine there was a schedule made and everyone had to work a certain number of shifts and there were usually members from both houses there. One particular night, I was scheduled to work an evening shift and then IT and Peach were going to meet me at the carnival and we were going to ride all of the spinning rides (I think it was wristband night or something.) So it happened to have rained all day that day and was raining into the evening, during my shift. The carnival was obviously a temporary set up so the booths consisted of wooden frames topped with tarps. As it would rain, the tarps would fill up with water, then every ten minutes or so the wind would blow just right to lift the tarp up and all of the water would come down the sides of the booth.

So logic would tell you to stand right in the middle of the booth, right?

That's what I did.

It also happened that for some reason there were no other girls on that particular shift.

So, when IT and Peach walked up to get me what they found was - me, standing in the middle of the booth, literally surrounded by a circle of frat boys.

And do you know what they said?

"Typical."

Bearing Gifts We Traverse Afar

Ok, so I very inadvertently left out some details from Vegas, and I will work on a post that includes them.

But now, a break in our regularly scheduled programming.

I gave O'Connor his Christmas gift today and it inspired this post.

I love giving gifts!

More than I can express in words.

I love coming up with a gift that I think a person will love.

I love picking it out.

I love wrapping it up.

And I love watching them open it and seeing the joy in their face.

There is really nothing that makes me happier than to give someone a gift meant just for them, that they truly enjoy.

And if you live far away from me and I send you a gift, it makes my heart warm to think of you opening it up and enjoying it.

I love gift-giving so much, that I have a hard time keeping gifts a secret and not giving them before it's time.

I'm afraid that someday when someone lives with me, and I buy their gifts, and hide them in the closet all wrapped up and pretty, I'm not going to be able to wait for the occasion to give it them.

That's all.

True Love

It's official.

I'm in love.

With Las Vegas during the National Finals Rodeo.

Actually I think I'm just in love with the National Finals Rodeo. Going to Vegas during one of the weekends it is going on just enhances that love.

And I'm in love with cowboys. Even rodeo cowboys.

And I'm in love with my new shark boots. Even though Bruce's dad had to die for them.

Maybe I should start from the beginning.

Dirty Shirley, Diddy, and I headed to Vegas last Friday to join in on the festivities of the NFR. Diddy and I had never participated in this particular activity so Dirty was going to be our guide.

Early Friday morning (though not as early as I would have liked) Diddy and I loaded into Tyler and headed west. I am sure that you can imagine the hilarity of a four hour car ride with the two of us. We did not disappoint this time, it just so happened that no one was there to benefit from it.

When we finally arrived in Vegas, we headed to the airport to pick up Dirty. Then it was off to the Hilton (H-I-L-T-O-N) - our home until Sunday. We made it to our room, dropped off our luggage, and headed to the convention center for a little shopping and a lot of alcohol! On the elevator on our way down there was a couple who were both pulling suitcases and one of them had an open 18-pack of Miller Lite and a man with only one spur on (we still don't know where the other was and we didn't see his horse parked outside). So no one says anything in the elevator, although I was thinking, you did something wrong if you're leaving with the beer. Then, as if I had spoken those words aloud, the man said, "We are changing hotels. This is the worst hotel in Vegas. Just look at the people walking around here, it's trashier than every other casino here." The rest of us just stood there. Seriously? The Hilton is the least classy? I think he used the wrong word.

The convention center shopping was successful for Dirty and we all imbibed on a few alcoholic beverages, ran into a lot of people we knew, and witnessed some really bad fashion! Then it was back to the hotel to get ready for the night.

We had dinner at the MGM and then headed to South Point to watch the rodeo and buckle presentations. Thanks to Diddy's quick thinking, we sat down at some video poker machines near the bar with the TVs and each put a dollar in and drank free casino drinks while enjoying the events. Once that was over, we headed into the auditorium for some live music and awards. We were lucky to find a table and enjoyed a few dances and a lot of drinks. Some of us more than others. At the end of the buckle presentations, and five minutes after the last time I looked at them, I turned around to Dirty and Diddy and they were 3M hammered! Dirty was watching the stage with one eye closed and Diddy was feeling his face to make sure it was still there. I believe that those are both international signs that it is time to leave the bar, so we headed out.

Our great plan to avoid paying an exorbitant cab fee was to take a cab to the MGM and then Monorail from the MGM to the Hilton. We got to the taxi stand and were approached by a gentleman who said that we could share a ride to Harrah's with another couple for $25. Deal. When we arrived at Harrah's, we had to walk through the revolving door and Diddy and I were in the compartment (is that what those are called?) behind Dirty. So in the middle of this particular door there was a gold platform that looked a little like a seat, however, it was not - it was slanted and when Dirty tried to sit on it, she slid right off. Onto the floor. While the door continued to revolve. So she stuck a leg out, which I'm pretty sure was dangerous. Luckily, Diddy and I made it out of our compartment in enough time to pull her out of hers and all was well.

Until we got to the Monorail station, where Dirty fell off a bench and hit her head on the concrete. Then Dirty and Diddy slept the whole way to the H-I-L-T-O-N and proceeded to fall down some stairs before we got to our room. Once we got to our room, Diddy decided that he was hungry and needed to order chicken strips and fries. However, Dirty was so drunk that she pulled an "Airplane" and passed out before the food arrived. Then prior to going to sleep Diddy drank the remainder of the blue cheese dressing that came with the chicken. Then kept saying to me, "I just drank the blue cheese. That was gross. Why did I do that?" (I am laughing hysterically just remembering it.)

Day two got started a little late because everyone was moving slow, but after a 10:30 am breakfast, Diddy and I were ready for some more BM's! This time we were off to the Sands for shopping and waiting for O'Connor to arrive. The Sands proved to be a bigger success in the shopping department as all three of us found a pair of boots that we couldn't live without.

Mine are brown. Shark skin. Beautiful.

I know. You're jealous. And it's about to get worse.

I got them for half-price.

I know!

But, back to the story.

Before coming across these boots, we came across the most wonderful bartender who let us make our own BM's. Like she poured the vodka and mix and we got to add the fixings. I added horseradish, Worcestershire sauce, Tabasco, celery salt, and pepper. It was heavenly!

Then Janiac* and O'Connor arrived and the fun began (well continued). After having a few apps and some drinks at TKE, we headed back to the room to get dressed and hit the town!

Then it was off to South Point for the rodeo and live music! We had a blast! (Although I will say that the next morning everyone agreed that we didn't have as much fun as we could have.)

I taught O'Connor how to dance and we all danced the night away. Again, when we returned to the room, chicken strips were ordered, but everyone stayed awake until they arrived.

The next morning, Dirty awoke around 7 am and began doing calisthenics in the room, which woke everyone else up. After a late breakfast, everyone hit the road.

The drive home with O'Connor and Diddy was HILARIOUS, even though we had to sit in DAM traffic for an hour. I'm sure there were things that would be worth writing about, but I can't remember.

Either way, go ahead and assume the trip was a success and we will be there again next year!

Excuse Me, 1921 Called...

So on Friday night I had dinner with CageFighter. It was a rather interesting experience.

I hadn't seen him in a number of years, but we have emailed, talked on the phone, and IMed throughout all of those years. On a fairly regular basis, he told me that he loved me since high school. Which I didn't believe. Apparently, he wasn't kidding.

But that's not really the funny part of the story. The funny part was at the restaurant.

We went to Applebee's, which is by no standards, a fine-dining establishment. When our waiter came to the table to get our drink orders I was a little creeped out by him. Then, he came back for our dinner orders... He kneels down and says, "Ladies first. Unless the gentleman is going to order for the lady." It was pure shock that kept me from laughing in his face. Was he kidding me??

First of all, I can order for myself. Second of all, we are at Applebee's. Give me a freaking break.

Still Catching Up?

Apparently, I am still trying to catch up. I am very sorry!

I don't even know if anyone reads this blog anymore - and I'm sorry for that, because this is where it all started!

So, I'll just catch you up on a little bit of life - it may not be funny, but it'll be true...

As I mentioned in the previous post, I started a new job in October. I am now working for Red Baron, and I'm enjoying it greatly! I share an office with O'Connor* and he is pretty awesome!

Last month, I went to Reno with Dirty Shirley and we had a BLAST!! Probably drank a little too much, but you're only young once, you know? EID was there with her new boyfriend. He seemed nice enough, but really boring! And apparently having a boyfriend makes EID no fun. She went to bed early every night. I was highly disappointed.

The next weekend, Dirty and I participated in the Breast Cancer 3-Day in San Diego - it was a truly AMAZING experience. I participated in the walk in 2006 as well and it's funny how much you forget in three years.

This year I walked in honor of a good friend's mom, who passed away in September. I think that may have made the experience a little different for me.

Next weekend Dirty, Diddy, and I are headed to Vegas for the NFR. A good time is sure to be had by all!