How To Save Money While Shopping

Frequently in college, IT and I would go to WalMart to do a little shopping. (I know, I know - we were poor college kids and Target was a luxury we could rarely afford.)

So, we would get a cart and start through the store picking up things we "needed" as we walked. Undoubtedly, we would come close to filling the cart with all sorts of random by the time we made it back to the front of the store to check out.

Then, we would stand by a display and go through the cart discarding things that we didn't actually need. Typically only ending up with one or two things each. (You're welcome, Tucson WalMart workers for always giving you things to restock.)

Today, I was on Facebook and Pottery Barn announced that they were having a 75% off clearance sale. So of course I went there straight away to get all of things that I "need."

I shopped and shopped and put some adorable things in my cart.

Then it was time to checkout and I opened my cart, saw what it would cost to buy those things and clicked the "x" in the top corner of my web browser.

Then I got to thinking about how often I do that. Just yesterday, I was on Amazon to buy a birthday gift for a friend's child and I had to click "save for later" on three things in my Amazon shopping cart.

I bet for every online store that I visit there is a shopping cart full of stuff that I decided at the end of the trip wasn't worth the cost. 

Does anyone else do this? 

Also, did I ever tell you the story of the time IT and I were going to the paper store to get stickers and we ended up at the ER?

That's a good one.

What Not To Say

In my next life I am going to create a series of classes to teach men what not to talk about on dates.

Oh, and how to read social cues.

I think I told you previously about a date I went on way back when and the guy talked about installing a dishwasher. 

Don't get me wrong, I'd like a guy who can do some of those handy things around the house, but let's save that scintillating conversation for date #2 or 3.

I've been on a few dates in the past couple of weeks and I have encountered a few things that I really feel like I need to share.

Date 1: A blind date with a software engineer. Who could not make conversation.

Seriously, I would ask a question - for example, so, do you get out to DC often to visit your sister?

He would respond, no.

Ok, would you like to expand? Or maybe ask me a question?

At one point, after I had asked probably 5-8 questions that he had answered in a similar way, he asked, What about you?

What about me, what? Do you want me to answer all of the questions I have posed for you? Just the last one?

That was until he told me that he was preparing to travel out of the country soon. And then talked to me for 15 minutes about if I was ever planning to travel out of the country, the Capital One Visa was the way to go.

And discussed with me all of the pros and cons of that particular credit card.

Seriously?

And he didn't even work for them - he worked for Wells Fargo...

Date 2: A date with a gentleman who chose to communicate with me during an eHarmony free communication weekend.

There were some yellow flags before I agreed to go on the date with him, but Sissy and Match told me that I need to stop finding reasons not to date people, so I agreed to meet for lunch.

His initial blow was dealt when he showed up in these shoes:

Wow, having just googled "mens velcro sandals" to find that picture, I discovered that those shoes cost $75. For the record, men, they are not worth it!

Just say no!

The date was awkward, but I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt and I texted him when I got home to say thanks for lunch and that I enjoyed myself.

He texted back, nothing profound. I texted Monday morning (see, trying to be nice and encourage communication). Tuesday I was at dinner with Diddy and he called. I didn't have time to get back to him that night.

The following morning he texted - I'm attaching a screen shot of the text so you can see exactly how it was typed:

While I agree that it is very nice for him to communicate so well, the neediness that is the undertone of this text makes me want to stab my eyeballs out! 

I don't do needy.

I did call him back on Wednesday to give him the second chance he asked for. He did not redeem himself.

Needless to say, this has fizzled out.

Date 3: A blind date with an engineer. 

In a quiet restaurant where he frequently talked too loud! And told me no less than three times what grocery stores could be found in Omaha, NE and also near his house on the east side of the Phoenix metro area. And asked me what grocery stores were close to my house.

Grocery stores, people.

I know that I show everything on my face and I am fairly certain that my face was not showing interest at a listing of grocery stores.

Also, he started talking about bad parts of town (in Omaha) and how it was where the African Americans lived.

(Remember how I said he talked too loud in a quiet restaurant?)

I was mortified.

Did you ever see the Sex and the City episode where Charlotte goes on a date and runs into Carrie? The date is not going well so she asks Carrie to call her to tell her something bad happened. And she answers the phone and literally says, "Oh no, something bad happened?"

I was wishing for that phone call.

When I got back to Match's house after the date, Biggie asked me, "The date didn't go good?" I told him it did not.

Biggie: You didn't like him?

Airplane: No

Biggie: What did he look like?

Where did that even come from?

Match told the boys that my problem is that I'm too picky.

But I get to be. This is the rest of my life we are talking about. I'm not going to subject myself to grocery store talk for the better part 60 years just to be in a couple.

Update: BOOM!

First and foremost, I will be taking a moment to bask in my glory!

As you'll recall, last Monday, we ran 6 400m time trials at the gym. And I was so happy to get all six of them under two minutes. Even though the last one was on the brink - 1:59.

Well, today (and apparently every other Monday from now on) we did it again.

Do you see those numbers on the fourth line down?!?!

They are mine!

1:39, 1:43, 1:43, 1:49, 1:48, and 1:47!

BOOM!

And then we moved on to the clean complex lift - which is 3 hang power cleans, 3 push jerks, and 3 front squats.

My heaviest weight on this complex previously was 43kg.

Today - 49kg! And I could have potentially done a little more.

I lifted the same amount as one of the girls who competed on our affiliate team at the games!!

Tomorrow, I will share with you some awesome dating advice.

Trust me, you won't want to miss it!

I totally forgot - there was a second part to this post.

I am currently obsessed with this song! If you are looking for some good music - I highly recommend downloading it!

No Good Way

Match and I at the Buckeye Hawks football game. It was like a production to get this picture taken.

Yes, friends, it is Friday night. And I am blogging.

Tonight I went with Papa and Match to Munchkin's FFA BBQ and then to the Buckeye Hawks football game!

It's ok to be jealous of how totally awesomely exciting my life is!

(That line up there just reminded me of a guy who bought the house I grew up in. His name was Toad Lee - and Sissy, YogaHippy, and I used to call him Toad Lee Awesome. Because, why not?)

Either way, as I mentioned, we started the night at the FFA BBQ, where they served the most disgusting BBQ meat that I have ever eaten and corn on the cob.

So we were sitting at a table with the family and PieRanch said, "I hate eating corn on the cob in public."

Which reminded me of the time we were at the Cattle Growers convention and there was this guy I had a major crush on. So we were in the dinner line together and they were serving corn on the cob. We both got a piece.

Then we went to find a seat and there were no tables with empty seats (have I already told you this story?), so we sat at a table alone and were enjoying our dinner and random conversation.

When he said, "You know, there really is no good way to eat corn on the cob, is there? You just have to make out with it."

What?

How awkward is that?

I Have Something I Need To Say

I am going to do a little steam-letting right now. Feel free to skip this post and come back in the next day or so for something funny again.

I am hyper-emotional today.

And there are all of these words in my head that I need to get out.

I am feeling a lot of pressure lately.

I feel pressure at the gym to be better and to finally get some of the gymnastics skills that I can not seem to master.

I feel pressure from people around me to be entertaining and "on" all of the time.

I feel pressure from society to be in a relationship at the age of 31.

I feel pressure from within to be better. At everything.

To know what I want to do when this job is over.

To have it all figured out.

To...

It feels never-ending sometimes.

I know that a lot of this is of my own making.

Certainly no one at the gym is saying, "Why can't you do pull-ups, Airplane?"

I just feel like I should be.

And probably when most people say, "So are you dating anyone?" They don't mean, I can't believe you are still single.

But it feels like it.

You have to understand who I am.

If you ask me a question, and I don't think the answer is acceptable. Or wrong. I get really upset.

For example, when I was actively on eHarmony and someone would ask, "So how's eHarmony? Do you have any dates scheduled?"

My answer would often be, "No, I'm getting matches, but not much communication."

It kills me inside to say that. And I feel bad about myself.

And I start to internalize all of the reasons that someone may not want to communicate with me on a ridiculous dating website.

You can't imagine the things I start to think.

It's stupid.

And I was communicating that to a friend once and she said, "Airplane, who cares?!? After all, you're not on there to get a bunch of dates - you're on there to find the one person you want to spend the rest of your life with."

And she was right, but it didn't change the way I felt.

Everyone has in their mind the way that things should go.

But every person is different. So one person's way of doing things, is not always the same as another's.

I am a communicator. I am not a game player.

That's just not who I am.

And I can't be that person.

I have to be me. I have to be able to do what feels right to me. I have to be comfortable with what I am doing and saying.

It may not be the way that you would it. And that's okay.

And I'm open to advice.

But I want everyone to understand that when they bombard me with questions and silences after questions that I already am nervous about answering - it hurts me.

Please do be honest with me and don't hold anything back, because that is who I am as well.

But please also think about the things you are saying and how they may be interpreted. And not just with me. With every person you communicate with.

Because I know that I am great person.

I know that I come with my flaws.

But I know that I have an extraordinary capacity to love. 

I know that not everyone is going to like me.

But I know that there is going to come a day when someone loves me for exactly who I am.

And they are going to know that because I will have always been just who I am to them.

(I'm not going to go back and re-read this - so please excuse any mistakes. I need the words to be just what they were coming out of my brain.)

I'm Not An Alcoholic...

On Tuesday, I had just finished cooking breakfast at Diddy's and was filling up my water glass to have with my meal.

Me: Do you ever open the fridge to get some orange juice in the morning and think to yourself, damn that Coors Light would taste good right now.

Diddy: Ummm, no.

Me: Yeah. Me neither.

I think my body may be going through withdrawals from my DC trip.

A Nice Day for a White Wedding

Shit got real this past weekend.

IT married IKEA* (he finally got a name and he came up with it himself...)

I do not have any pictures of the bride and groom together, so you will have to settle for a picture of me and the hottest date around, DVL.

Yeah - we rocked it!

Check out those shoes! And remember them - they will be back later.

DVL and I worked together many moons ago and we've been friends for a while now. He resides in DC and is a blast!

I honestly don't know if I would have enjoyed the wedding as much without him by my side.

He was a great dance partner (and obliged me by dancing to EVERY song!), a phenomenal drinking partner, and a photogenic SOB!

The photographer was a friends of the groom's family so she threw the photo booth in for free.

We took full advantage. Though I was really hoping for some boas.

I mean really, how cute are we?

While we were out enjoying ourselves on the dance floor, Tiger stole one of my shoes and took it back to the hotel with him. 

The following day, as DVL and I tooled around town running errands, I received various pictures like the one below, of my shoe seeing the sites of our Nation's Capitol.

All in all, it was a beautiful wedding and a fabulous weekend!

I am certain there are more stories to share, and I may even get around to sharing them at some point, but if I don't - at least you have the pictures, right?

Mourning

On Tuesday, America mourned.

And we mourned with her.

 Eleven years ago, cowards attacked our Country.

I remember where I was.

I will never forget watching the second plane hit.

I will always remember the way America came together after those attacks.

The pride I have for the USA is embodied in the responses from those attacks.

The way Congress stood on the steps of the Capitol and sang together regardless of party.

The America that we all knew and loved was a reality for those days and weeks following the tragedy.

We were one.

Standing together. Fighting together.

Knowing that freedom and liberty were under attack, we stood and said, not in our house!

One of the girls from the gym posted the following poem on her Facebook yesterday. It is perfect!

Every U down in Uville liked the U.S. a lot,
But the Binch, who lived Far East of Uville, did not.
The Binch hated U.S! the whole U.S. way!
Now don't ask me why, for nobody can say,
It could be his turban was screwed on too tight.
Or the sun from the desert had beaten too bright.
But I think that the most likely reason of all,
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.

But, whatever the reason, his heart or his turban,

He stood facing Uville, the part that was urban.

"They're doing their business," he snarled from his perch.

"They're raising their families! They're going to church!

They're leading the world, and their empire is thriving,

I MUST keep the S's and U's from surviving!"

Tomorrow, he knew, all the U's and the S's,

Would put on their pants and their shirts and their dresses,

They'd go to their offices, playgrounds and schools,

And abide by their U and S values and rules,

And then they'd do something he liked least of all,

Every U down in U-ville, the tall and the small,

Would stand all united, each U and each S,

And they'd sing Uville's anthem, "God bless us! God bless!"

All around their Twin Towers of Uville, they'd stand,

and their voices would drown every sound in the land.

"I must stop that singing," Binch said with a smirk,

And he had an idea--an idea that might work!

The Binch stole some U airplanes in U morning hours,

And crashed them right into the Uville Twin Towers.

"They'll wake to disaster!" he snickered, so sour,

"And how can they sing when they can't find a tower?"

The Binch cocked his ear as they woke from their sleeping,

All set to enjoy their U-wailing and weeping,

Instead he heard something that started quite low,

And it built up quite slow, but it started to grow--

And the Binch heard the most unpredictable thing...

And he couldn't believe it--they started to sing!

He stared down at U-ville, not trusting his eyes,

What he saw was a shocking, disgusting surprise!

Every U down in U-ville, the tall and the small,

Was singing! Without any towers at all!

He HADN'T stopped U-Ville from singing! It sung!

For down deep in the hearts of the old and the young,

Those Twin Towers were standing, called Hope and called Pride,

And you can't smash the towers we hold deep inside.

So we circle the sites where our heroes did fall,

With a hand in each hand of the tall and the small,

And we mourn for our losses while knowing we'll cope,

For we still have inside that U-Pride and U-Hope.

For America means a bit more than tall towers,

It means more than wealth or political powers,

It's more than our enemies ever could guess,

So may God bless America! Bless us! God bless!

Hard To Get

So, I think I'm being stalked. 

Have I told you this before?

Not like in a scary way.

Well it's not scary yet.

But there is this guy who obviously thinks he wants to hang out with me.

And I don't want to hang out with him.

So he texts and texts and texts.

And I turn him down every time.

But he never gives up.

Sometimes he sends texts that make me think he's watching me.

Like he'll send a text within ten minutes of me pulling into my garage that says, You home yet?

And the other night, literally as I was pouring myself a glass of wine, he texted, Wine?

So I was talking to Big T the other day, and I told him, I guess there is something to this "playing hard to get" that people talk about.

Only I'm not playing.

I do not want to hang out.

(And don't ask who it is people - you don't know him.)

Mine

There are a lot of things about blogging that stress me out.

Thanks to this quote today, there is one less.

I know there are a lot of critics of Taylor Swift's music because she sings all of these songs about boys who broke her heart and she's like 12 years old. 

And if we're being honest, she may not be that great of a singer.

But she gets to sing her experiences. Because they are hers. 

And I get to write mine. Because they belong to me.

Manic Monday

As I frequently do on Sunday nights, I checked my CrossFit website last night to see what today's WOD would be. 

The website said:

So, I read, Run 6x400m

3 min rest between

I however did not read the coach's notes that said, RX...female 3.00 between start times.

So what that means is, we will all take off at 3-2-1-go and run at the rate that would get us to our goal mile time. Then, at 3:00 (regardless of the time you returned to the starting line) we would start run #2. Then, at 6:00 minutes, run #3. And so on and so forth until we had completed 6 runs - or a mile and a half.

Of course once you're there, there is no turning back. So off I went at 3-2-1-go...

And below you see the results of those six runs!

If you can't see that (because pictures taken of computer screens do not come out well), that says that I ran every single one of those 400s under two minutes!

Which puts me well on the course of an 8-minute mile! At least for a mile and a half.

So I left the gym and I was all like, Monday, I'm making you my bitch!

And then I had a meeting out of the office and when I got back to the office, Monday was like, Nice try, Airplane! I'm still Monday and I still kick ass!

I'm not proud of what I'm going to tell you next, but I have to say it...

I bet I said the F-word 15 times between 10am and 11am. 

I'm serious. I know it isn't lady-like and I wish it wasn't true, but it is.

Everyone was on Monday's side and they were kicking my ass like Big Deloris!

But I'm going to power through! Because it is IT's wedding week and I get to see DVL on Friday!

Simplicity

So, this picture doesn't really have anything to do with this post, but Sissy is always telling me how Tiny reminds her of me. And today she posted a family picture they took in North Dakota and he was making the above face. The exact same face that I am making in a picture that was taken of me in like 2006...

I'm working on simplifying my life.

Dirty moved out this past weekend and because I have an empty room now, I am taking the time to organize and simplify.

Like getting rid of things.

A lot of things.

Why do we keep things that we don't need?

Why is it so hard to get rid of things? 

I get keeping things that have sentimental value, but you should see some of the crap that I was storing in a closet or a drawer somewhere.

For what?

It sounds super silly to say this, but I really feel like since I started this process, my life has changed.

Not in any crazy big way, but I think my outlook on life has changed.

It is like an external cleanse.

I'm An Asshole

Whoa - how did it already get to be the first Tuesday in September?

I really need some excitement in my life so I can blog more.

I'm an asshole - because I can't stop telling people how fast I ran a mile.

Seriously, in situations where it isn't even germane, I just bring it up.

My coworkers are all like: Do you think we should set this display up on the inside or outside of the booth?

And I'm all like: Can you believe I ran a mile in under 8 minutes? Wait, what? That's not what we were talking about? Oh, man. Sorry. Well...can you believe it?!?!

Do you want to know another reason I'm an asshole?

Last week while I was at a conference, setting up said booth, the people in the booth across the way were building this elaborate TV mount system. And one girl was standing in front of the TVs and a guy started yelling and two TVs and the mount system fell on her. And then she stood up and said she was ok. And then the fire department came and I pretended like I was going to fall so the cute firemen would pay attention to me.

I mean, I was totally just joking, but it kind of makes me an asshole, right?

Oh well. My coworkers thought it was hilarious.