Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Rollin', Rollin', Rollin'

First of all, I would like to take a brief moment to apologize to my parents for talking constantly as a child. It wasn't until today that I realized just how annoying that is.

In other news, if being a teacher is anything like being a tour guide for a bus full of old people - it is a good thing I didn't get a degree in elementary education.

I can not begin to tell you the number of times today (and all throughout the trip) that our tour guide has finished explaining what is going to happen the next time we get off of the bus and someone asks a question that he just explained in detail. I will never know how he doesn't just shout out, "If you would F&*#ING listen the first time you would already know the answer to that question, you jackwagon!"

Fortunately, it isn't just Granny B. Unfortunately, she has at least one of those questions every time the freaking bus stops and she asks me.

I'm losing it, friends!

Oh my word, and she complains about everything. We walked into our condo tonight. Seriously, condo. At a ski resort, with a living room, small kitchen, bedroom, and bathroom. The first thing she says, "small bathroom."

Again, please don't think that I'm not having fun because I am, but really, we drove for at least two straight hours today through some of the most beautiful leaves I've seen. But for two straight hours, it was pretty much the same scenery. And the rotation has taken us to the back of the bus so I can't really see much that is in front of us, so I got distracted with my iPhone and iPad. She nodded off so I didn't think it was a big deal.

However, every time she woke up she had to point out the changing colors of the leaves. Saw them. An hour ago.

On to what we saw today. We left this morning headed to the Normal Rockwell Museum and let me tell you - it was damn cold! I think it was 43 degrees when we stepped off the bus. As you can probably imagine, we did the museum at a marathon pace. Then spent a little time in the gift shop and then I found her friends from the bus who also don't walk much and she sat down with them while I went outside to visit the studio since we had another hour before it was time to load the bus again.

From there, we headed to the town of Stockbridge for lunch. Because of the size of our group, we often take over restaurants, but our tour guide calls ahead and they are ready for us. At this particular stop, there was only a small space inside to wait, so I told her to go in and I would meet her in there when they started seating people. She walked away and one of the men on the tour said, "You've got your hands full, don't you?|

Understatement of the year, my friend. Understatement of the year.

We ended up sitting at lunch with a couple we hadn't met. They are from south of New Orleans, so naturally the conversation led to hurricanes and flooding. The husband went on to tell a story about some towns near them and how recently they were flooded. In the middle of his story, she interrupts him. With something that had nothing to do with his story. It was nonsense really. And then she started asking about the Army Corps of Engineers building the levees.

After lunch I needed to find an outlet to charge my trusty iPhone (aka my sanity on this trip) so she went into the gift shop while I sat in a chair with the jackets waiting for the bus. There are three couples on this trip together and apparently they love cats, because a cat came out of nowhere and they all freaked out and followed it around and got all of their significant others and took pictures and wouldn't leave it's side. It was very strange.

From there, we drove into the Adirondack Mountains and then into Vermont. In Vermont we stopped at the Beddington Battle Monument, where you could buy tickets and go up to the top and see three states at once. I hear it was pretty awesome.

A we climbed back on the bus Granny B let me know, you know, a long time ago I went up there and it was kind of neat.

And I'm really super confused because I thought she hadn't been on this tour before, but she keeps telling me about things she did a very long time ago. The last time she was here.

For dinner tonight we had to take the shuttle down to the bottom building, where apparently your meal comes with a free hot fudge sundae. When we finished our dinner the waitress came up and asked if she would like her free hot fudge sundae. She said, and I am not kidding you, "Well, why not? I haven't had one of those in umpteen years."

Really? Umpteen years? Or was it yesterday?

Because I'm pretty sure it was yesterday.

One last thing that makes me absolutely crazy and then I'll leave it alone tonight. She always wants to ask everyone else for help with the dumbest shit. Tonight she asked the waitress what channel MSNBC was here. Just give me the damn remote and I'll figure it out. I can promise you that!

Currently she is in our room watching CNN and I am hiding at a bar drinking whiskey and water.

Tomorrow we will head to Woodstock (but not that Woodstock). This one is apparently of Rockefeller fame. And we are going to talk maple syrup. And see covered bridges.

And take pills at a rate dictated by debate talk.

1 comment:

  1. Your balance sheet in heaven is filling with credits - you missed nothing on the debate...Our Ambassador died and Obama lied!