Attitude Adjustment

Last week I had a bad attitude.

I cannot pinpoint when it started, but about halfway through the week I was ready to give up. Just call it a year and get drunk until Jan. 1.

2013 just wasn't the year I wanted it to be. Nothing horrendous happened, but a lot of small, really kind of crappy things did. And I decided that I had had enough of it.

I opened a bottle of wine, drank one glass, went to bed, and dragged myself to CrossFit the next day.

My attitude didn't change. In the back of my mind there was always that thought of defeat. Like 2013 had beat me. The race was over.

Then today it hit me - while things may not have worked out the way I would have liked, I have a lot to be grateful for.

I've had another year to spend with three grandparents who love me dearly.

My immediate family is healthy and happy.

There are five nieces and nephews that I get to see on a regular basis who fill my heart with joy.

I have spent another year CrossFitting and improving myself.

My job affords me the freedom that allows me to start my own small business.

I have a wonderful network of friends throughout North America (and now Europe.)

And so much more…

#followyourpassion

Well, here goes nothing.

I've started a business.

Ok, it's not officially a business, but a little side job type thing.

I have a friend - we will call him Job*, because all of the patience I lack, he possesses.

A couple of months ago we were talking about dream jobs - I asked him what his would be, and he told me. Then he asked me the same question. I told him that I think the Chief of Staff job suits me well. It takes advantage of my strengths, while giving me work that I enjoy. However, if I could have any job I wanted, I would cook for people.

His response: "Do it."

We went back a forth of couple of times when he made a good point - the food delivery company that I wanted to start took very little overhead and minor risk. So after "strongly encouraging" me for about another month, I finally broke down and decided to get it started.

Tomorrow I will deliver my first meals to my first three clients.

Garlic and Rosemary Crusted Pork Loin w/ roasted veggies  and Browned Butter Chicken "Pasta"

Late last week I texted Job that I had just received a single order for six meals!!

I was lamenting the fact that I had just found out that I had to work on Friday so all of the things that I planned to get done on Friday had to be moved to Saturday and Sunday (when I would have normally been shopping and cooking). So I said, "Oh well, I guess it's a good problem to have."

He responded, "What problem??? #followyourpassion"

###

Another random Job story. Last weekend we were going to watch the NFR together, and I ended up going to his house mid-afternoon to help him exercise his horses. However, when I'd left my house that morning, I wasn't really planning on riding a horse so I was wearing skinny jeans, Frye boots, and a nice top. 

Luckily, I was able to borrow some work boots from Sissy before I headed to his house, and I happened to have a light jacket that I don't mind getting dirty in my car. So I get to his house and I am going to put my stuff down and change my shoes and he is going to head outside to saddle horses and I say, "Wait, how dirty am I going to get riding horses?"

He yelled back, "Airplane! We are going outside. In the dirt. To work horses. Go change your clothes!"

I guess I'm a little more girly than I like to admit...

We've Been This Way For A Long Time

Way back in the day. Like when I was in high school. I was chosen to be one of two delegates to Girls' State for my school. 

I hated it.

Kind of ironic, if you think about what I do these days.

I guess I didn't hate it. I met some pretty cool girls who I stayed in touch with for a while, and I probably learned something (though I don't know what it was), but I didn't take full advantage of the experience. 

That's not really what this post is about though.

Match had a conference in Tucson the same time as I was supposed to be at Girls' State, so she drove me to the University of Arizona campus.

We pulled up to the curb in front of the dorm that I was going to be staying in and started unloading my luggage when a guy on a bike rode up and started yelling at us.

Apparently he thought we almost hit him somewhere along the way, though neither Match nor I remembered even seeing him.

As soon as he rode away we looked at each other and started laughing hysterically.

No Easy Way

Before we get into today's post - please tell me that you all watch New Girl on Fox! Seriously, if you don't, stop reading and go rent any of the seasons that are available, stream this season on your Netflix or Hulu, do whatever you have to do to watch this show!

In my humble opinion, it is the best show on television. I was literally in tears watching last night's episode. Honest. I freaking love it!

Now back to the topic at hand...

Yesterday one of the women I work with popped her head into my office and said, "Wow, girl! You are losing a ton of weight - you look great! You have to tell me your secret!" 

I said, "No secret. Just working out and watching what I eat."

For the record, I hate the term, "watching what I eat." It's stupid.

Do you know what else I hate? When people say, "are you allowed to eat that?"

I'm allowed to eat whatever I want. I am a grown ass woman. I make the choices that I want to make.

I can eat whatever I want as long as I am prepared to deal with the consequences of those decisions. 

Sometimes I make bad decisions. Sometimes I make questionable decisions. For the most part, I'd like to think that I make good decisions and that is what counts.

My goal is to CrossFit four times a week. Does it always happen? No. But I don't beat myself up about it when I don't make it. I just take it one day at a time.

It kills a little part of my soul every time I hear a commercial about a new product that is going to help you lose weight fast. 

You guys, that may work for the time that you are taking it, but it is highly unlikely that you will be able to take it forever.

The 500 calorie/day diet? Yeah, I bet you're going to lose a shit ton of weight. But you can't live like that.

There is only one way to lose weight and be healthy - diet and exercise. And not diet in the term you think of. Diet in the sense of what you eat. Change your life and your habits.

Start by changing one meal a day. Once that becomes second nature, throw in another meal.

It's not easy. I'll never tell you it is.

But I will tell you that it is worth it!

Sixteen Things That I Need to be Reminded of Daily

Today, in honor of Miscellany Monday, which I haven't participated in in some time, a random list, in no particular order, of things that I should remind myself of from time to time. This list is by no means comprehensive.

1. Never apologize for being you. Your likes, dislikes, hobbies, and personality are yours alone. Some people will like them. Others will hate them. It is not your job to make the second group of people join the first. Enjoy being the person you are, doing the things that make you happy.

2. It's ok to cry. Sometimes a good cry is all you need. Just do it. But once you're done, wipe the tears and move on. There are very few things and even fewer people who are worth your time after they've made you cry.

3. Being alone isn't the worst thing in the world. Don't get all crazy and never spend time with other people, but really enjoy the time you spend with yourself. Use it for reflection, writing, reading, cooking, whatever strikes your fancy at the time. There are going to be times in life when all you want is to be alone and you may not get that chance. Cherish the time when you have it.

4. Never settle. In anything. Never settle in love. Never settle for less than you deserve. Never settle for less than your best. Nothing is small enough to warrant settling. Keep pushing. Keep trying. Keep looking. It's out there. Reach for it.

5. Know when to say no. People will ask you to do things. People will ask you to say things. People will ask you to give things. It is ok to say no to the things you aren't willing and able to do/say/give. Don't torture yourself for others.

6. Know when to say yes. On the other hand, there are times when a situation will present itself to you and for whatever reason - fear, ability, sleep - you will want to say no - say yes. Some great things come from saying yes!

7. Surround yourself with people who make you want to be better. It is easy to spend your time with the people who are ok with your status quo. Or even who want to make you be less than you are. Stay away from those people. Find the people who make you come alive. Who challenge you to reach for your goals. Who hold your hand and say, "I'll walk out on the limb with you." They are precious and you will never regret a day spent with them.

8. Love yourself. Love every part of who you are. Embrace who you were, who you are, and who you will be. Cherish the bumps along the road that got you here. Know that you are constantly a work in progress, but also know that you are good enough just how you are.

9. Give yourself compliments. When you look in the mirror and think, "Damn, girl, you look good." Say it out loud! You put in the hard work, you should recognize it. Don't dwell on it and act better than others, but know that it is ok to think that you are beautiful and say it.

10. Tell others how you feel. If you love them - tell them. If what they do for you is great - tell them. If you think they smell good - tell them. It won't always be the easiest conversation, and the reaction may not always be what you want it to be, but you will feel better for having said it.

11. Laugh hysterically. Always. Laughter is the best medicine. Laugh at yourself. Laugh with your friends. Laugh with your family. Always, always laugh.

12. Pray. When things go right, pray. When you struggle, pray. When those around you need it, pray. You always feel better when you pray. Do it!

13. Respect your body, but have the dessert. You've learned a lot about your body over the course of 32 years. Some of it is hard to deal with. Respect what it tells you is good for it and avoid what it tells you is bad for it. But remember that life is short and sometimes it is ok to have the dessert. 

14. Expectations are what kill us. If you have expectations of people that they are unaware of, they can rarely live up to them and you will certainly be disappointed. 

15. Don't compare yourself to others. Everyone's circumstances are different, you can not compare yourself to another person fairly. 

16. Don't judge a book by its cover or a person by their clothes. You miss a lot of great stories by only focusing on outward appearance. Stop it. Stop it right now.

RSVP, Please…Via Email or Text

I may have mentioned to you before that we are having a 90th Birthday Party for Granny B on January 1.

There is some debate as to whether she will be turning 90 or 91 that day, but really, at that age does it really matter?

Either way, somehow I got volunteered to be the person to receive the RSVPs. I had kind of forgotten about agreeing to that job until I answered my phone the other day to a number I wasn't familiar with.

Me: Hello?

Old Lady: Is this Airplane?

Me: Yes.

OL: Oh, hi. This is Isabelle. I got Granny B's birthday invitation. We used to spend a lot of time together. We had so much fun. Us and that other lady. I can't think of her name. Do you know her name?"

Me: Umm…was she from Buckeye?

OL: What? Oh, yes. Buckeye. Do you know her name?

Me: Ummm…was it Fran?

OL: Yes! That was it. How is Fran?

Me: She's good. (I really have no idea.)

That conversation went on for like 15 more minutes in which we had to talk about finding a zip code, her broken rib, my grandfather, and how she won't make it to the party (and her rib won't heal).

I called Match after I hung up and told her she was probably going to owe me a bottle of vodka for making me be the RSVP contact.

And I've stopped answering my phone for numbers I don't know.

New Rules

I interviewed for a new job on Monday.

It couldn't have gone better.

Seriously - I ROCKED it!

But I didn't get the job.

Not a lot of people knew that I was applying and interviewing for this job, but there were a handful of them.

Some of those, I told right away. Others asked how the interview went today and I had to break the news.

Nearly every person said the same thing. Some variation of, "Wow - their loss."

And let me tell you - that's nice to hear.

Rodney Carrington has a comedy bit about funerals, it goes something like:

"Funerals are awkward…They always try to make you feel better by saying, 'He's gone to a better place.' Well what if he was an asshole? What do you say then? Shouldn't have buried him in the sweater…"

So I got to thinking, were people just saying the job interview version of "He's gone to a better place?" 

I hope not.

Running My Life So It Doesn't Run Me

I'm a control freak.

I will never deny that.

It is one of the reasons that I am risk-adverse. I like controlling the end. It is comfortable.

For me, there is nothing more comforting than a detailed schedule.

(Okay, maybe some things are more comforting…)

I love to know how much time I have to do what I have to do and where I have to be when that is over. 

I run my life.

Earlier this year, I actually thought about calendaring my life down to the half hour.

That's crazy, people.

But I thought about it.

I like structure.

I run my life.

But even when I act like I'm in complete control, it is a ruse.

The truth is, if I were in complete control, I would say 'no' to the things that I don't have time for.

I would find time to do the things that are on my "someday" list.

I would cancel my cable and blog and read and keep an immaculate house.

I would run more. And eat better.

I would spend less. And budget perfectly.

I'm far from perfect, but I am trying.

Burn, Baby, Burn!

Janiac and I getting ready to start the day

I am currently on an extended vacation with Janiac in California.

I can't recall if I've mentioned it, but she get angry because typically when I come to visit her, it is for an event and I'm not in town very long and apparently there are lots of things that she wants to show me.

At least twice I visited her while she lived in Paso Robles and she wanted to take me wine tasting, but inevitably we had a little too much to drink the night before and wine was not really the first thing we wanted.

So we scheduled a trip. A very long trip.

One of the other things that she really wanted to do was to show me her family's ranch.

On Sunday morning, we set off from Hanford to Paso. We had plans to wine taste and then head out to the ranch for the night, because on Monday, there was scheduled to be a prescribed burn on the ranch and we were "the help."

We managed to successfully taste wine at one place before getting distracted with shopping and heading out to the ranch.

Monday morning, we woke up, had breakfast, and began moving vehicles and equipment for the fire. 

Let me back up for a moment.

When Janiac was in Arizona a couple of weeks ago she received a text from her mom asking if she would be around on a couple of specific dates because they were scheduling this burn and needed help. 

The dates were Nov. 8 and 11. Janiac said that Nov. 8 wouldn't work because I was flying in on the evening of the 7th and we wouldn't be able to get to the ranch in time.

Unfortunately for us, they went ahead and scheduled the burn for that day.

On Friday, we were sitting at the house and Janiac gets a text from her sister, "Burn cancelled. Bulldozers, prisoners, and two helicopters headed to Toro Creek."

Wait, what?

Helicopters? Prisoners? What are we in for? 

Jane says, "I thought this was the 15 guys from the fire camp down the road with some shovels."

I replied, "Apparently that would be like bringing a knife to a gun fight."

Only a portion of the equipment that would be used throughout the day

Pre-burn briefing

After the briefing with all of the crews, Janiac and I headed up to where the fire was supposed to start with a couple of other folks. They laughed at me when I got nervous about driving into the fire. I was like, I don't know if you've noticed, but those guys up there - they are wearing fire suits. We are wearing jeans and t-shirts. If the fire happens to get out of control, we are going to have some troubles.

Lucky for us, the fire did not get out of control, but we headed back down to the camp around lunch time to help put lunches together for the ranchers who had volunteered to help. Once they were ready, we got into the Polaris with Janiac's mom to deliver them. 

So into the fire we went again. This time, I wasn't as scared.

We were about halfway through delivery when we stopped to talk to one of the fire fighters and he was telling us that they had the perimeter pretty well burnt, but since the fire wasn't carrying well, they were going to start using the heliotorch.

What is a heliotorch, you ask? Well, we had the same question.

Basically, the attach this tank to the bottom of the helicopter and it shoots out napalm and starts fires.

(I have a video of this awesomeness, but for some reason, blogger won't let me post it.)

For the remainder of the day, Janiac and I rode around with her mom surveying the fire. At one point, we went up to the highest point of the fire to get the best view possible.

The day ended with a huge bbq for all of the firefighters, prisoners, and volunteers. We served over 100 people dinner, and were in bed by 8:30pm.

All Rise

You know that quote that like everyone has as their email signature?

"Don't judge another person. You never know what kind of battle they are fighting."

That may not be exactly how it goes, but you get the idea.

When I landed in Fresno earlier this week, Janiac asked me about my flight. It was pretty uneventful. Then she told me a story of the flight she took earlier in the week.

There was an older woman sitting next to her, and a young woman with a very small child behind them. By all accounts, the child was struggling with the plane ride (and probably traveling in general). The woman sitting next to Janiac was making very loud and very rude comments about the behavior of the child, and pontificating how the woman must be a bad parent because of it. Going so far as to say that she probably shouldn't fly until she can get her child under control.

This story upset me. That woman didn't know the situation in which the younger lady was traveling for. There could be a million reasons for the travel. A family wedding. A funeral. A final visit with an aging grandparent who would meet her child for the first and last time.

I'm not saying I have never judged someone without knowing the situation. I hope that I have never spoken so rudely about someone within their earshot, but I honestly can't tell you that is even the case.

In general, I try to understand people. It is part of my nature to want to know them. I want to hear their stories. Know their fears. Celebrate their accomplishments.

So when someone does something different than me. I try to understand why. What in their life makes them the way they are.

I watched the following video from TedxBoulder and it really got me thinking. 

When she says, "There is no harder. There is just hard," it resonated with me. Why do we insist on comparing our trials with those of others? And say that what we are going through is worse than what they are going through? Or even worse, discount what we are going through because it isn't as bad as theirs?

Each one of our battles is hard. It is hard because of the effect it has on our life.

Each one of our accomplishments is great. It is great because we overcame something and made it. 

Stop comparing. Stop judging. Just comfort and celebrate when someone calls on us to be that for them.

We've Turned the Page. Actually, We Are In a Whole New Section of the Library

As I previously mentioned, I went to visit Granny B the other day.

As you've read in the past, Granny B has been known to point out my flaws, or what she perceives my flaws to be. 

All of the reasons why I can't get a boyfriend, etc.

So this week we are sitting at her kitchen table and she basically tells me that any man who doesn't like me is either an idiot or gay. Possibly both.

I didn't even know what to say.

So she begins to tell me this story that her niece told her.

Her niece had a friend who dated a guy for a long time in college and they got along great and had good times together, and arguably they loved each other, so they got married.

But he couldn't perform in the bedroom.

YES - my grandmother used the words, "he couldn't perform in the bedroom!"

To my face.

Sitting at her kitchen table. 

I almost died!

Either way, it turns out he was gay and they got a divorce.

Sad story.

My. Grandmother. Used. The. Words. "Couldn't. Perform. In. The. Bedroom."

You guys, I'm still traumatized!

But also very happy that she is no longer pointing out my flaws.

The Competition is Fierce

So I had to run by Granny B's house today. She had some stuff for me. Unimportant really.

As we were sitting at the kitchen table, we were talking about her Bridge Club. She was going to play after I left so I was asking her questions about it.

Before I get into that conversation, she is frequently telling me about a man in the Bridge Club who has a crush on her, or a woman in the BC who is mean to her because she thinks that Granny B is going to steal her husband. 

So I'm asking her about the goings on of BC.

Me: So, how long do you play?

Granny B: Well, we start about 6, or whenever everyone shows up and we play three rounds. It usually ends around 8. Or 8:30 or 9. Depending on how fast or slow play is.

Me: I see. Is there food and drink there too? Or is it just straight cards?

Granny B: Just cards. But there is this woman named Amanda and on Halloween she showed up in a cape with silver flowers on it. And she always brings food for the holidays. Like for Halloween she brought these cookies and when I was leaving she said, 'Granny B, don't forget to get a cookie.' I don't need a damn cookie.

But during Christmas she'll go to town and get something good like baklava or something.

Once I brought my Texas sheet cake and the men loved it. I'm going to bring a Texas sheet cake next week. I'll tell them tonight so they'll expect it.

I hope Amanda doesn't bring any food next week.

Dear Diary

As you may know, I watch the TV show Biggest Loser. One of the parts of the show that I love is when the trainers work with the contestants to get to the issues that have gotten them to this point.

A couple of weeks ago, Dolvett had one of his contestants write letters to her family and friends forgiving them for the pain that they have caused in her life. 

###

Dear Society,

For 32 years, I have let you tell me what beauty is.

I have watched your perception of beauty tear people apart.

I have hated myself.

Cried myself to sleep.

Wanted to be anyone but me.

Today I change that.

Today I know that beauty is more than what a person looks like.

Beauty is found in strength - both physical and mental.

Beauty is found in joy.

Beautiful is one word with a million definitions.

Beauty is confidence.

Confidence to know that who I am is enough.

That who you are is perfect.

That what we can be is positive.

I forgive you for luring me into the trap that made me think I wasn't good enough.

I forgive myself for falling for your manipulations.

Starting today I will stand up for beauty, in all forms.

I will remind everyone around me that each of us is so much more than we see in the mirror.

That the most beautiful accessory a person can wear is their smile.

I am better than judging a person by their looks.

You are better than that.

We are better than that.

Let's change the conversation.

Let's focus on the positive.

Let's make people realize their worth does not lie in their ability to fit into a smaller pair of jeans, but in their ability to make the world a better place.

Society, I believe in you.

Will you believe in me?

Sincerely,

A Very Strong and Beautiful Me

I Fell Down the Stairs

No, really.

I fell down the stairs at Sissy's house.

Judging by the reaction of her friend's daughter and the multiple bruises on my backside, it wasn't a graceful fall.

I don't really know how it happened. One minute I was walking down the stairs, the next: my life was flashing before my eyes. 

Maybe not quite that dramatic, but it did seem like the world went into slow motion and the bottom of the staircase was a long ride down.

I don't really know why I told you that story.

I'd like to tell you it's because I wanted to tell you that no one is perfect.

Or that we have to laugh at ourselves.

But really, I just wanted to tell you that I fell down the stairs and I survived to tell the story.

I Had a Breakthrough. A Breakdown? No, a Breakthrough.

**I started this post a couple of weeks ago and didn't get very far. It was a hard post to write, but in light of recent happenings, it is at the front of my mind again. So here it is - old and new meshed together in one.**

Sometimes I think I live my life in movie quotes.

Seriously, if you say something that even remotely resembles a quote from a movie that I have watched, I can't help but start speaking in movie lines.

Often times, my work bestie seems to be the only one who understands what I'm talking about, but I can't stop.

It occurred to me recently that people may be taking advantage of my friendship. That while I may seem to have a tough exterior, I am actually pretty sensitive and I do have feelings.

I probably talk about my feelings more than most people, but the truth is, it's usually the positive feelings that I talk about. When I hurt, I tend to keep it inside.

Healthy? Probably not.

Reality? Absolutely.

So, I had a breakthrough - slowly eliminate the people from my life who do not appreciate me. 

Those people who only want to be my friend when it is convenient for them.

Those people who seem to take more than they give. 

Ultimately, think about me first.

Make sure that the relationships that I have are serving me too. 

Sounds easy.

It's not.

Once again, I'm not as tough as I appear. I don't like to hurt people. I don't like to be mad at people. I don't like to lose friends.

But at what point is enough enough? When do you decide that the joy you get from a person isn't worth the hurt you get from them?

November Nattering

Way back in college - which was at least ten years ago because I keep getting emails from my alma mater telling me that this year is my 10-year reunion (which can't be right since I'm still only like 26 years old) - Bridezilla and I decided that November was our month.

I honestly can't remember why now, but we must have had a bad October, and decided that November would be better so we deemed it OUR  month.

(For the record, I think I just remembered why - I'll have to consult with her on that…)

So, when I woke up at 2:27am on Nov. 1, because I was sleeping on the couch at a friend's house and I'm a stomach-sleeper and couches aren't really conducive to stomach-sleeping, the first thing I thought was, "It's officially November. This is my month!"

And I wanted to text Bridezilla, but I thought that would be ridiculous at that time of the morning, so when she texted me closer to a reasonable hour to say, "It's officially our month!" I just got super happy.

 I know that on Facebook, people post one thing they are thankful for every day, but I'm not going to do that here.

In honor of MY month - I am going to post every day. Some days it may be something I'm thankful for. Some days it may just be something I want to say. Some days…it may be a funny story.

But since writing is one of my passions, I am going to write during MY month. 

Enjoy it.

Or don't.

It doesn't really matter all that much to me.

It's Not My Fault

Two of the coaches at our gym have this little game they play. There are large cut-outs of each of them that are near the whiteboard and they will put word bubbles up randomly with "conversations" that they think are funny.

The other day, one of the coaches was saying, "It's not my fault if you don't hate yourself enough to change."

I laughed a little to myself. 

###

Recently I read the following quote from Emma Stone. When asked about beauty she responded: 

Confidence is the only key. I know a lot of people who aren't traditionally 'beautiful' - not symmetrical or perfect-bodied or perfect-skinned. But none of that matters because all that shines through is their confidence, humor and comfort with themselves. I can't think of any better representation of beauty than someone who is unafraid to be herself.

If I didn't love Emma Stone before I read that, I would certainly love her after. (But really, who could not love her after Easy A? That shit was brilliant!)

In the past two months I have had a number of conversations with people in which they tell me that I am intimidating to others (both men and women.)

Apparently it is my confidence that other people find intimidating. To which I respond, I'm not arrogant. It's not like I'm walking into a room and telling people that I'm better than they are. I walk into a room with an "I'm awesome" attitude. I'm not saying that you aren't awesome, please feel free to exhibit your awesomeness and I will celebrate it with you.

I am unwilling to change from that perspective.

Certainly if I was walking around all sad and lamenting all of the things I disliked about myself, no one would want to be my friend. So why is it bad to be the other way?

Plus, now Emma Stone thinks I'm beautiful. That freaking rocks!

Everything You Didn't Know You Needed

Last week I was meeting a friend for dinner and I was a little early so I thought I would stop by IKEA. 

Recently on Instagram, I saw someone post a picture of their jewelry displayed and they said that they had purchased the hooks and bars at IKEA. 

I was not prepared for what was to come. 

When I walked in, it seemed that my only option was to go upstairs to the "showroom." I wasn't really sure what that meant, but I figured it was where I would find what I wanted. 

It was not. And furthermore, I just kept walking in what felt like circles. Thank the TTBJ that there were arrows on the floor because I'm honestly not sure where I would have ended up. And what if there was a fire? I didn't ever see a fire exit.

Finally I asked someone who worked there about the jewelry displays, and he looked at me like I was crazy. Then he said, "Oh, I think you're talking about our belt rack. That is downstairs in our home organization department." 

Uhh - where is that? 

Just go downstairs and it is department number 7.

Wizzah-wuh? Department number 7? How many departments are down there?

The answer is a lot. A lot of departments full of all of the things that I didn't even realize I needed. But all of the sudden they were there in front of me. At such a reasonable price. I started putting random things in the giant yellow bag.

Picture frames. Bath mats. Curtain hanging kits.

Finally I made it to department number 7 - but what I was looking for was not there. I was devastated. 

I put the yellow bag full of randomness down and went to find the exit.

Not as easy as it sounds. 

I texted my friend, "I'm stuck in IKEA and I don't know how to get out. If I don't make it to dinner go on without me."

Guess Who's Back. Back Again...

Crown and water at Nick's Cove on Tomales Bay

Sorry for the lack of posts last week, I was visiting BigSurprise. I think I may have mentioned at some point that she was pregnant with twins, but I don't think that I ever told you that she had them. 

On July 30, she gave birth to two precious baby boys. I feel in love with them with the first picture she sent, so when she mentioned that she needed a little help with the nursery and getting settled, it was a no brainer for me to head up there for a week of fun.

Lots of things happened and I hope that my visit helped her get organized enough that she is feeling better about it. We cooked a lot of food to put in the freezer. I fed her most meals while I was there. And I fell even deeper in love with the sweetest baby boys in Northern California!

The two-month photo shoot was more difficult than you would imagine. Baby E on the left. Baby K on the right.

Baby E and I fell in love immediately.

Enjoying bonus snuggle time with Baby K during the flight delay

I was set to leave on Friday. My plane was scheduled to depart at 2:30 pm, so we left the babies with the nanny and headed to Oakland. We got to the airport right around 1pm, said goodbye, and I headed inside to check my bag. As I was in line, a man came over and said that due to a maintenance issue, the flight would not depart until 8:00pm. 

Yes, you read that right - a 5.5 hour flight delay.

So I texted BigSurprise and we decided that she would come back and get me and we would head home for the delay.

Little did we know, it would take us forever to get home! The traffic was ridiculous!

Finally we made it, fed the boys, and basically got back in the truck and headed back to the airport.

I had already checked my bag earlier, so all I needed to do was go through security when I got back to the airport. 

Even so, we gave ourselves upwards of two and a half ours to get back to the airport.

As we got started, the traffic started to get bad. Like really bad. Like literally a full stop for multiple minutes bad.

BigSurprise is starting to get a little freaked out and I'm trying to calm her down. She keeps  saying, "You're going to miss your flight. What are we going to do if you miss your flight?"

In one of my strongest moments yet, I remained calm and told her that we couldn't worry about that. All we could do was keep driving and hope we made it on time. 

I plugged the airport address into the GPS and it said that we would arrive at the airport at 7:27pm. As we are sitting in dead stopped traffic, one of the babies starts crying hysterically. Then BigSurprise tells me to look at her gas gauge. It says "82 miles to empty." I tell her that we are only 31 miles from the airport. She says that once it hits 5o it goes to zero right away. 

Baby is still screaming and I'm starting to get a little stressed out myself. I ask her if I climb into the backseat if I can feed the baby. She says yes.

At this point I should tell you that she has an extended cab Ford F-150. And the baby seats are in the middle and behind the passenger seat. So when I get in the back, I'm going to have to be behind the driver seat.

I have no idea how I managed to get back there without hurting myself, but I did. And I begin feeding Baby K. And texting Match. (Isn't that what everyone does when they are freaking out?) Then I put my head down and say a quick prayer that we make it to the airport on time, and safely. And that we don't run out of gas on the way.

About two minutes later, BigSurprise says, "Oh my God, Airplane! Look at the gas gauge now!" I look around her headrest and see, "132 miles to empty." I start to breathe a little easier. Then Match texts me, "Every time you and BigSurprise are together it seems to be a 'debunkle'" I relay this message to BigSurprise and she asks, "Is debacle a synonym for clusterf*ck?"

As we cross over the bridge, the traffic starts to thin out and we begin making up time. About every 5 minutes, BigSurprise gives me an update, "Now it says we will arrive at the airport at 7:25 and we have 80 miles to empty." And so on and so forth. 

As we get closer, BigSurprise comes up with a plan. When we get near the airport she is going to unbuckle her seatbelt so that when we get there I can jump out, grab my stuff, and run to security. She will then go to the gas station and fill up and wait to hear from me that I am on the plane before she heads back home.

We pull up to the airport at 7:23 - I run to security. I am literally the only person there. The guy taking boarding passes says, "What time does your flight leave?" I tell him 8:00pm - he says, "You have plenty of time. No need to run."

I get to the gate, and they aren't even boarding my flight.